


Crash Landing

by fictionalportal



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, College, Crack Treated Seriously, Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Honestly it's crossed the line into a serious fic, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Slow Burn, Texting, With a boatload of humor, bees-centric, enjoy, i am not liable for sudden emotions that may occur, it's a shitpost in a fic, this is now a crackfic that might make you cry, weiss is just in lesbians with pyrrha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:31:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 43,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalportal/pseuds/fictionalportal
Summary: Yang Xiao Longcome overWeiss SchneeI can’t. My new roommate’s moving in today.Yang Xiao Longnot *right now*u thirsty hoeWeiss SchneeI’m deleting your numberYang Xiao Longfine, as long as you show up for ruby’s party saturday(A RWBY college/texting AU that no one asked for. I guess there's a real plot now? Who could have seen this coming...)





	1. there's no such thing as a sexy cowboy

**Author's Note:**

> things responsible for this fic:  
> 1\. a meme of an opossum in a cowboy hat  
> 2\. my rapidly deteriorating sleep schedule  
> 3\. i turned on the shower too hot and i think it jumped my brain
> 
> why did i write a texting fic formatting is h e l l  
> (seriously if anyone has formatting advice please......help)

**[Thursday 10:26 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

come over

**Weiss Schnee**

I can’t. My new roommate’s moving in today.

**Yang Xiao Long**

not *right now*

u thirsty hoe

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m deleting your number.

**Yang Xiao Long**

fine, as long as you show up for ruby’s party saturday

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s been on my calendar for weeks.

**Yang Xiao Long**

good

bring your new roomie

is she cute?

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, I’m straight.

**Yang Xiao Long**

im sorry, do straight people not have eyes?

**Weiss Schnee**

No, she’s not cute. She’s utterly revolting, in fact. Better stay away from her.

**Yang Xiao Long**

noted ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s her first weekend here. I don’t want to frighten her into transferring back to her old school.

**Yang Xiao Long**

bring

her

itll be good for her to meet people and ruby makes everybody feel comfortable

**Weiss Schnee**

Is there a dress code?

**Yang Xiao Long**

y e s

glad u asked

western

sexy cowboys/girls/people only

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, there’s no such thing as a sexy cowboy.

**Yang Xiao Long**

[OpossumWearingACowboyHat.jpg]

fool

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re an idiot.

**Yang Xiao Long**

your*

**Weiss Schnee**

No

I have to go. She’s here.

**Yang Xiao Long**

tell her i say hi

**Weiss Schnee**

I will not.

**Yang Xiao Long**

:))

***

**[Thursday 10:31 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

WEISS

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes, Ruby?

**Ruby Rose**

Are you coming?????

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes. Yang literally just texted me.

**Ruby Rose**

Not the party, lunch!

**Weiss Schnee**

You and your sister really need to work on your communication skills.

**Ruby Rose**

Yang and I talk all the time??

**Weiss Schnee**

[facepalm.gif]

**Ruby Rose**

Weiiiiiss are you coming to lunch

I know how much you love Salmon Thursdays :D

**Weiss Schnee**

I don’t want to abandon my new roommate.

**Ruby Rose**

bring her

**Weiss Schnee**

Fine. We’ll meet you there at 12:00.

**Ruby Rose**

you know you can just say noon

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, give Ruby her phone back.

**Ruby Rose**

scharp, schnee

***

**[Thursday 1:34 p.m.]**

**[Weiss Schnee created a new group (4 members).]**

**[Weiss Schnee renamed the group “RWBY Apartment Chat.”]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s a rwby

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s all of our initials.

**Yang Xiao Long**

whats the B???

buby haha

**Ruby Rose**

Hehe

**[Yang Xiao Long set Ruby Rose’s nickname to “buby.”]**

**Weiss Schnee**

This is supposed to be for EMERGENCIES.

**Yang Xiao Long**

[YouGotItDude.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

If there’s an emergency, shouldn’t we call campus security

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake!

yeah weiss’ version of an emergency is like, a busted lightbulb

**Weiss Schnee**

It was a fire hazard, Yang. And it was one time. Let it go

**buby**

[ElsaLetItGo.gif]

I like the group name Weiss!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake are you coming to ruby’s party on saturday

**buby**

Yes come!!!! there will be cookie cake :)))))

**Blake Belladonna**

Sure

**Yang Xiao Long**

great! :)

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes, weiss?????? do u have an emergency????? did ur bathroom light go out again

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**[Yang Xiao Long added Weiss Schnee to the group.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss u cant leave now

ur RWBY’s heartless leader

sorry meant fearless*** haha

**Blake Belladonna**

Shouldn’t Ruby be the leader? The R is first

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit ur right

weiss your new roomie is so smart

**Weiss Schnee**

But I started the group!

**buby**

It’s a big responsibility but I accept

**Weiss Schnee**

This is mutiny!

**buby**

Oh no my TA saw me texting

Remember meeeeeeeeeeee

**Yang Xiao Long**

NOOOOOOO RUBY

rip little sister

***

**[Friday 9:02 a.m.]**

**[Yang Xiao Long created a new group (7 members).]**

**[Yang Xiao Long named the group RUBY’S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

our house 6:00 tomorrow

there will be cookie cake

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

**Lie Ren**

bit of a last minute invite, but of course we’ll be there :)

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Should I bring anything?

**Weiss Schnee**

Only your wonderful self, Pyrrha! :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

asdjlak;fhdsfdsj;kdk

**Nora Valkyrie**

is cookie cake not enough for you pyrrha!!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Actually, is it alright if I invite someone?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes please do!!!

**[Pyrrha added Jaune Arc to the group.]**

**Ruby Rose**

JAUNE

i was just looking at the syllabus online in Oobleck’s class earlier i promise

**Jaune Arc**

Hey Ruby! Hey everyone!

Wait, what do you mean?

**Ruby Rose**

n o t h i n g

**Blake Belladonna**

Wait, 6:00? I’ll be a little late

**Yang Xiao Long**

[CoolCoolCool.gif]

**Ruby Rose**

No problem!

**[Blake Belladonna left the group.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Who was that???????

**Lie Ren**

she seems nice.

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss' new roommate

blake [insert last name here]

**Weiss Schnee**

Belladonna. It's in her profile name, you imbecile.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

See you all this weekend! <3

**[Pyrrha Nikos left the group.]**

**Weiss Schnee**

See you Saturday, Pyrrha!

**Ruby Rose**

She's gone, Weiss :(

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

tragic

***

**[Friday 1:30 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

[WeissThirstingAfterPyrrha.jpg]

this is so funny

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean??

**Yang Xiao Long**

alexa play sparks fly by taylor swift

**Weiss Schnee**

Who is Alexa????

**Yang Xiao Long**

LMAO WEISS PLEASE

also

don’t forget

sexy cowboy

**Weiss Schnee**

Why should I listen to you? You’re being obnoxious.

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s not for me, it’s for ruby

u don’t wanna ruin her birthday

do u

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 8:27pm]_

***

**[Saturday 6:07 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

YANG XIAO LONG

WHERE ARE YOU

WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON AT THIS PARTY IN A COWBOY HAT

**Yang Xiao Long**

_[Read 6:08pm]_

***

 


	2. elaborate schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yang comes up with a plan to befriend Blake, Weiss continues being useless and snarky, and Ruby's birthday party opens the door to all sorts of ridiculousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the feedback and support on the first chapter! i'm still figuring out the Fancy formatting stuff, but hopefully it's a bit easier to follow now :)

**[Saturday 6:26 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

YANG

YANG

YANG

I can see you checking your phone!!

YANG

YANG

**Yang Xiao Long**

whaaaaat

**Ruby Rose**

YANG

**Yang Xiao Long**

RUBY

**Ruby Rose**

Sorry I sent that one right when you replied!

Can you please tell Nora that the fire escape is NOT a jungle gym?

She won’t listen to Weiss :(

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha did u see weiss’ hat

wait why isn’t she wearing her hat????

my night is RUINED

**Ruby Rose**

Oh she said I could wear it :D

Whoa, did you hear that?!

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m pretty sure everyone in a three mile radius heard that nora screech

girl is a banshee

...is she serious?

**Ruby Rose**

Just confirmed with Ren, she is very much on the roof

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh ren’s with her?

she’ll be fine

i must attend to my hosting duties

**Ruby Rose**

Is pestering Blake really so much more important than your friend’s safety?

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss give ruby her phone back

**Ruby Rose**

_[Read 6:34 pm]_

**Yang Xiao Long**

gotcha ;)

**Ruby Rose**

She went up to check on them.

Do you plan on speaking to anybody other than my roommate tonight?

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s cool stop being weird

**Ruby Rose**

Far too cool for you

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh definitely :p

***

**[Saturday 8:18 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

and who is the shirtless blond man in our refrigerator

did u invite him??

**Weiss Schnee**

He’s Blake’s friend. I’m surprised you didn’t already know that considering you haven’t left her side for more than 5 minutes all night.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

cool

that's fine

real talk is that blue haired guy bothering you

**Weiss Schnee**

No!

**Yang Xiao Long**

are you sure?

velvet said he was bugging coco earlier

if u need an out blink sixteen times

**Weiss Schnee**

We are having a perfectly lovely conversation, thank you very much.

I happen to think he’s quite handsome

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh huh

u look like you’d rather be eating your own shoe

good news, there are plenty of shoes to eat in the closet

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 8:20pm]_

***

**[Saturday 9:32 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Weissss hiii is Ruby!!!were orphoefng pizza do u want tnaything?

Noora says thaey wont deliver to the roof but i dot blievev her

**Weiss Schnee**

Are you drunk? On the roof??

WITH NORA?

I thought you were going up there to convince them to come down!

Ruby, are you there?

**Nora Valkyrie**

IM 32 YOU CNAT BOSS OF ME

11*

TWENT NOEN******

Did yu know ren and jahune like hawaian butnonly wiht no cheosepp

cheede**

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 9:45 pm]_

***

**[Saturday 9:55 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby’s fine

pyrrha’s tucking her in and singing her a lullaby

possibly the most peaceful end to a 21st birthday in history

poor ruby, she’s gonna feel like shit tmrw

**Weiss Schnee**

Good.

Not that last thing. That’s not good.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur a dick

thansk for the headsup tho

**Weiss Schnee**

Are you ALSO drunk??

**Yang Xiao Long**

im would vnevr

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang

**Yang Xiao Long**

hahah just messing with u. nah i’m not drinking tonight. i had a feeling ruby might need a lil extra attention

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s...very responsible of you.

**Yang Xiao Long**

plus i gotta make a good impression on ur roomie and all :-)

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 9:57pm]_

**Yang Xiao Long**

no weiss why are you coming over here

weiss ur kicked out

***

**[Saturday 10:04 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha you’re a goddess and we don’t deserve u

nora ur jungle juice is BANNED and ur on thin fkn ice

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHAT

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby went up to the roof to make u guys come inside

and instead you offered her your satan water

**Nora Valkyrie**

THE JUNGLE JUICE DID NOTHING WRONG

**Yang Xiao Long**

you had to literally carry ren out the door

**Nora Valkyrie**

he asked me to!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m glad you and Ruby are safe. Thank goodness Ren was able to help you both down.

**Nora Valkyrie**

wait, *both*?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Yang, would you mind sending Weiss in here? Ruby says she has to tell her something.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i tried but weiss thinks i’m pranking her so that i can talk to blake

which, fair

**Nora Valkyrie**

Both???

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’ll message Weiss.

**Yang Xiao Long**

that worked almost comically fast

**Nora Valkyrie**

GUYS

B O T H ?

**Yang Xiao Long**

stop saying that

it doesn’t look like a real word anymore

**Nora Valkyrie**

HAS ANYBODY SEEN JAUNE

HELLO

FKDNCVGCKF DID YOU THROW YOUR PHONES IN A RIVER??? ANSWER MEEEEE

***

**[Saturday 10:08 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

why are u so mad that blake and i are getting along

friendship is beautiful

and so is she

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, stop being childish. We left because I’m not feeling well.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ugh fine

i admire ur stupid roommate solidarity

anyway lemme know when u guys get back ok?

FEEL BETTER 💛

***

**[Saturday 10:44 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

you guys good?

**Weiss Schnee**

Yeah, just forgot to text you

Sorry

**Yang Xiao Long**

no punctuation? an apology? are you dying????

hey what did ruby want to tell you so badly?

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 10:45pm]_

***

**[Saturday 10:45 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

is weiss ok?

**Blake Belladonna**

She said she’s fine and to “stop pestering”

Her words, not mine

**Yang Xiao Long**

sounds like vintage weiss

keep an eye on her ok?

**Blake Belladonna**

Of course.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur the best :D

**Blake Belladonna**

_[Read 10:53 pm]_

**Yang Xiao Long**

[BlackJacket.jpg]

hey you left your jacket!

**Blake Belladonna**

No I didn’t...? I’m literally wearing it rn

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

ha

my bad i thought it was yours

anyway did u have fun??

**Blake Belladonna**

Let no man claim you don’t know how to host a party

**Yang Xiao Long**

who said that

what man

was it ren? it’s not my fault nora made him drink that evil concoction

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh...no one. It was supposed to be a joke

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i LOVE jokes

please tell me jokes anytime :p

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ll let you know when I think of a good one

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll hold u to it

***

**[Saturday 11:08 pm]**

**[RUBY’S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! (5 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss r u for real

o wait

**[Yang Xiao Long added Weiss Schnee to the group.]**

**[Weiss Schnee added Pyrrha Nikos to the group.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol

**Weiss Schnee**

What? I don't want anyone feeling left out.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you already posted the pictures

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh, they turned out wonderful! :^)

**Lie Ren**

thank you, weiss :D

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course. I hope you all had a throughly enjoyable evening.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Sidebar do smileys with noses make anyone else super uncomfy?

**Yang Xiao Long**

big time

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I'm sorry! I thought it was cute :(

**Lie Ren**

:0)

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oooohh I like that one

It’s mister potatohead!! :0)

:0) :0) :0) :0)

**Weiss Schnee**

Seeing as this event is now over, I don’t think it’s appropriate to keep utilizing this chat.

**[Nora Valkyrie changed the group name to “CHATEAU DE NORA.”]**

**Weiss Schnee**

[Sigh.gif]

**Nora Valkyrie**

hehehe

**Yang Xiao Long**

well if we’re keeping it

**[Yang Xiao Long added Blake Belladonna to the group.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

BONJOUR

**Weiss Schnee**

ENOUGH

She’s already asleep.

**Lie Ren**

as we all should be.

**Weiss Schnee**

Finally, someone with common sense.

**Yang Xiao Long**

goodnight to everyone except weiss

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Goodnight everyone. Including Weiss. :)

Muting this chat, got a big project due Monday. <3

**Weiss Schnee**

Goodnight to you too, Pyrrha!

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss...sweetie...she’s gone

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**[Yang Xiao Long added Weiss Schnee to the group.]**

**Lie Ren**

also muting for work. love you all

**Yang Xiao Long**

goodnight sweet prince

**Nora Valkyrie**

WAIT DID ANYBODY FIND JAUNE

GUYS

YOUR QUEEN DEMANDS ANSWERS

***

**[Sunday 12:32 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

[RubyBirthdayGroupPic.jpg]

[GroupPic_Zoom.jpg]

..Yang, did you send me a picture of your own jacket?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh

im gonna pretend idk what ur talking about

who’s yang?

**Blake Belladonna**

Very convincing

:P

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake belladonna is that an emoticon???

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re changing the subject...

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes fine maybe it was my jacket

**Blake Belladonna**

Interesting

**Yang Xiao Long**

is it

**Blake Belladonna**

Very

**Yang Xiao Long**

how come

**Blake Belladonna**

Just is

:)

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re on a roll with these smileys

what’s next, emojis??

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh, never.

💃💃

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg

its super late i thought weiss said you were sleeping

**Blake Belladonna**

Working on it. Still getting used to my room

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah i get that.

**Blake Belladonna**

Why are you still up?

**Yang Xiao Long**

cleaning. i don't want ruby to stress about it in the morning

i'll stop bugging u and let u sleep :p

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re not

Bothering me, I mean

Although I might have to mute that group chat

**Yang Xiao Long**

totally fair

didn't want u to feel left out u know?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang

You don’t have to come up with elaborate schemes just to text me, ok?

**Yang Xiao Long**

who’s yang???????

but like, cool

in that case do u have brunch plans tmrw??

**Blake Belladonna**

I suppose I do now?

**Yang Xiao Long**

only if u like mind-blowing pancakes

10:30?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sounds like a perfectly good hour to have my mind blown.

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol

alright, go to sleeeeep

**Blake Belladonna**

I will. See you

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok gnight 😎👉👉

**Blake Belladonna**

🤦

Night

***

**[Sunday 5:02 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Jaune Arc**

Uh....guys?

[ViewFromRubysRoof.jpg]

**Weiss Schnee**

Jaune, please refrain from messaging this group at such an inappropriate hour.

**Jaune Arc**

[Sigh.gif]

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....y'all hear that buzzing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> also bc everyone is worried about jaune: don't worry, he is ok, next chapter he will be happy boi


	3. is this a booty call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A crowded Sunday Brunch provides some much-needed hangover relief, Weiss goes through the stages of gay panic, and Yang gets an unexpected late-night text from Blake.

**[Sunday 9:37 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yang.....please tell me the griddle is on

only pancakes can save me from this TORMENT

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I told you not to drink so much :-(

Oh, sorry

:(*

**Nora Valkyrie**

Thank you

**Yang Xiao Long**

uhhh yes pancakes are a go

but also i invited blake

i kind of forgot and double booked ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Nora Valkyrie**

FORGOT

F O R G O T

**Yang Xiao Long**

it was late!

**Nora Valkyrie**

[JudgingYouInBisexual.jpg]

**Pyrrha Nikos**

It’s fine with me, Yang! I had a lovely time talking with her last night.

**Nora Valkyrie**

as long as she stays far away from MY FANCY SYRUP

[SuspiciousInBisexual.jpg]

***

**[Sunday 9:56 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey so uh

funny story

i may have double booked brunch w nora and pyrrha

**Blake Belladonna**

No problem. Some other time

**Yang Xiao Long**

no come over!!

if u want to

**Blake Belladonna**

I don’t want to intrude.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re not intruding

i’m inviting

we do brunch literally every sunday before kickboxing

**Blake Belladonna**

Kickboxing? Sounds a little...

**Yang Xiao Long**

badass? very

**Blake Belladonna**

I was going to say dangerous.

**Yang Xiao Long**

not nearly as dangerous as nora hopped up on pancakes

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re really selling me on this brunch

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m choosing to read that as not sarcastic

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re sure your friends won’t mind?

**Yang Xiao Long**

they can be your friends tooooo :D

pyrrha’s already raving about how much she likes u

**Blake Belladonna**

Fine.

**Yang Xiao Long**

wow careful

if u get any more excited u might sprain something

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m choosing to ignore that sarcasm

But only because you promised mind-blowing brunch food

**Yang Xiao Long**

AND I WILL DELIVER

see u soon :)

***

**[Sunday 10:19 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

how are u today sweet ice princess

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t call me that.

**Yang Xiao Long**

okie dokie

how are u today dickhead ice princess

**Weiss Schnee**

I see you’ve invited Blake over again.

**Yang Xiao Long**

we’re not talking about blake we’re talking about u

are you feeling better?

**Weiss Schnee**

Is Ruby awake yet?

**Yang Xiao Long**

dead to the world

why?

u kno ur being more Weiss™️ than usual

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**Yang Xiao Long**

im starting to get suspicious

what did u guys talk about????

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s none of your business.

**Yang Xiao Long**

it is when it concerns my little sister

she’ll be up soon

no one can resist the smell of pancakes

**Weiss Schnee**

Waffles are the superior breakfast food. Everybody knows that.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m unfriending u :)

***

**[Sunday 10:21 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Hello Ruby, I hope you’re feeling alright this morning. Please let me know when you’ve received this message. - Weiss

And Happy Birthday, officially.

***

**[Sunday 10:38 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

She’s looking at it, Yang

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m literally in the kitchen why are u texting me from my couch

and who’s looking at what?

**Nora Valkyrie**

MY SYRUP.

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg she’s not even

she said she just wants nutella

**Nora Valkyrie**

A lady of refined taste, I see...

Fine but I’m watching her

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m downstairs. Sorry about the delay :(

**Yang Xiao Long**

COME

ON

UP

**Nora Valkyrie**

LET THE FEAST BEGIN

Just kidding, we definitely started without you

**Pyrrha Nikos**

That’s okay! I wouldn’t want to get between anyone and pancakes

**Nora Valkyrie**

I love everything about you, PYRRHA NIKOS

**Pyrrha Nikos**

<3

**Nora Valkyrie**

Someone teach this girl about emojis

***

**[Sunday 10:42 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Good morning, Ruby.

**Ruby Rose**

Wow, your so formal

**You’re

Sorry I just woke up D:

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s quite alright.

How are you?

***

**[Sunday 11:01 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

you invited RUBY’S TA?!

**Yang Xiao Long**

jaune slept on our *roof*

because YOU LEFT HIM THERE

and i didn’t invite him, ruby did

**Nora Valkyrie**

Is nothing sacred to you?!?

**Yang Xiao Long**

how about you

stop

texting

at

brunch

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pyrrha would you please turn your ringtone off it’s distracting

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Sorry!

Done :)

**[Nora Valkyrie set Pyrrha Nikos’ nickname to GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

N O R A

**Nora Valkyrie**

i will be silent

when JAUNE stops looking at my SYRUP

**Yang Xiao Long**

i thought u guys were friends?? 

isn't he ren's roommate

**Nora Valkyrie**

friendship means nothing when there are pancakes at stake

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

D:

**Yang Xiao Long**

panstakes haha

**Nora Valkyrie**

if I kill him on your property you have to help me hide the body

It’s The Law

***

**[Sunday 11:37 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Sorry!! I was getting Jaune off the roof

And then I had to help Pyrrha stop Nora from starting a pancake fight

Pretty standard Sunday over here haha ^^

What did you want to talk about Weiss??

**Weiss Schnee**

How are you?

**Ruby Rose**

Good!! Last night was really fun. Except my head kinda hurts...

And I don’t really remember a ton after the jungle juice

Did you have fun at the party??

**Weiss Schnee**

What do you mean you ‘don’t remember’ much?

**Ruby Rose**

I think Pyrrha and I hung out for a while

Oh and you too!! :D

Yeah it was a little scary when I woke up but Yang was really calm and big sisterly about everything

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m glad. Have fun at breakfast.

**Ruby Rose**

Excuse you, it’s brunch!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 11:41am]_

***

**[Sunday 2:52 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi

**Blake Belladonna**

Hey

**Yang Xiao Long**

how’s work??

wait are you allowed to be on your phone

**Blake Belladonna**

The library’s not exactly a thunderdome of activity on Sunday afternoons

Somehow people only remember they had homework after dinner

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok good i didn’t want to get u in trouble

bored?

**Blake Belladonna**

Why do I get the feeling you’re up to something?

**Yang Xiao Long**

what kind of tea do u like?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes

**Yang Xiao Long**

what

oh haha i get it

ok give me like 5 minutes

i don’t see u

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you...here?

**Yang Xiao Long**

guess that kinda ruined the surprise ://

**Blake Belladonna**

Second floor, shelving in the political science section

**Yang Xiao Long**

which is where....?

jk i see you!!

***

**[Sunday 6:33 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

How was brunch?

**Blake Belladonna**

Good. Your friends are nice

Yang's quite the cook

**Weiss Schnee**

They’re your friends too, you dunce.

**Blake Belladonna**

Have you ever seen Ruby eat an entire pancake in one bite?

It’s a little disturbing to be honest

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby was there?

**Blake Belladonna**

...She lives there, Weiss

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course.

Did she seem to be acting strange in any way?

**Blake Belladonna**

Assuming the whole one-bite pancake thing is normal?

She seemed fine

**Weiss Schnee**

...Have you eaten dinner yet?

***

**[Sunday 11:17 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Hey, are you awake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeeeeeees

is this a booty call? 

kidding, sorry

**Blake Belladonna**

Emotionally, yes

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok, weird, but go on

**Blake Belladonna**

Weiss thinks Ruby is in love with her.

**Yang Xiao Long**

hahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahaha

what

**Blake Belladonna**

She’s got really worked up about it at dinner

Apparently Ruby let it slip when they were hanging out in her room but she doesn’t remember saying anything

**Yang Xiao Long**

😂😂😂

ruby tells everyone she loves them when she drinks

pls tell weiss to keep it in her pants

emotionally

**Blake Belladonna**

Glad that’s solved.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya

hey sorry again abt brunch

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang, I told you. It’s fine that you didn’t have strawberries

**Yang Xiao Long**

not that! but also that

i feel bad about double booking

can we get lunch sometime this week?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’d love to :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

gr9

**Blake Belladonna**

What?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s even better than gr8

gr9

**Blake Belladonna**

Since I’ve started texting you, the facepalm is suddenly my most-used emoji

**Yang Xiao Long**

[ThatsHighPraise.gif]

***

**[Monday 5:43 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

If you're available sometime this week, I would be most pleased to catch up. There's quite a bit going on here. 

**Winter Schnee**

"Catch up?" 

**Weiss Schnee**

Like, tell each other what's been going on in our lives

**Winter Schnee**

I'm quite aware of the colloquial denotation. 

You seem distraught. Is your apartment not adequate? Do you wish to purchase tickets to an event? I can send you money. 

Are you familiar with Venmo?

**Weiss Schnee**

It's not money. I'd rather not get into it over text.

**Winter Schnee**

In that case, I will call you Thursday at 07h10 on my walk to the mess hall. Provided that works with your class schedule. 

Try not to absorb any more university slang until then. 

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course, Winter. Talk to you then :)

**Winter Schnee**

What is that stray colon and parenthesis?

**Weiss Schnee**

...Just a typo. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess this is...mildly serious now? and has actual stakes n shit? 
> 
> lmao anyways i get real smiley when i read comments so pls do leave one if u feel so inclined :)
> 
> tumblr: somnambule-plus


	4. less than 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: im going to write a crackfic, just for fun  
> me, 4 chapters and 86 plotlines later:

**[Monday 9:14 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey! lunch tomorrow?

**Blake Belladonna**

I only have 30 minutes between classes. Wednesday?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby’s got wednesday lunches, set in stone

and saturday brunches

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s sweet :)

Thursday then? I don’t have an afternoon seminar

**Yang Xiao Long**

thursday!

noon?

**Blake Belladonna**

Great :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

i think you mean gr9

honestly i’m leaning towards gr10

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re ridiculous.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ridiculous and sweet, i’ll take it

***

**[Tuesday 6:46 p.m.]**

**[Ruby Rose created a new group (4 members).]**

**[Ruby Rose named the group Suffering Squad.]**

**Ruby Rose**

Hi everyone!!! I know I’m not the only one having a tough time with Dr. Oobleck’s class (especially after that lecture today, I think my brain shut down at like 2:30)

So anyway I thought we could start a study group! If you guys are interested :)

**Lie Ren**

fantastic idea. i’m on board

**Nora Valkyrie**

will there be snacks!

**Ruby Rose**

OF COURSE

What do you take me for???

**Nora Valkyrie**

💖💖💖

**Jaune Arc**

Uh, Ruby, I think you might’ve maybe added me by mistake

**Ruby Rose**

No way!! You’re the TA, we need you on our team

**Nora Valkyrie**

Hi Jaune!!!!!!!!

**Jaune Arc**

I don’t think I can help you guys, sorry

**Lie Ren**

isn’t that technically your job? you are a teaching assistant.

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah, but like

I’m not gonna just give you guys the answers.

**Ruby Rose**

Oh no of course we don’t want that!!!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Speak for yourself...😜

**Ruby Rose**

You don’t have to like make flashcards with us hehe

You know all this stuff already

**Jaune Arc**

Right. Yes

**Ruby Rose**

But if you ever feel like coming and hanging out in the general vicinity so that we can ask you questions while you work or grade quizzes, we can buy you coffee and snacks :)

**Jaune Arc**

You drive a hard bargain, Miss Rose...

***

**[Tuesday 7:13 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Lie Ren**

are you going to tell them?

**Jaune Arc**

That I faked my transcripts and somehow got a job as a Teaching Assistant on a total fluke and now there’s no way I can quit because our other roommate moved into a single on campus and now our rent is 50% higher than it was supposed to be???

Yes, Ren. Telling them is the first thing on my to-do list

**Lie Ren**

hm

so you’re not going to tell them?

**Jaune Arc**

OBVIOUSLY I’M NOT GOING TO TELL THEM

...Wait, are you?

**Lie Ren**

i hope you like coffee :)

***

**[Tuesday 8:19 p.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (4 members)]**

**Jaune Arc**

I’m in!

**Ruby Rose**

Awesome!!! 

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEAAAAAAHHHHHH WE’RE GONNA ACE THIS CLASS

Get ready to be gifted all the coffee you can handle, Jaune 😈😈

**Jaune Arc**

:)

**Lie Ren**

:)

***

**[Wednesday 11:33 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

On my way!!! We got out early ^-^

**Yang Xiao Long**

two minutes does not count as early

but COOL SEE YOU SOON

**Ruby Rose**

IT COUNTS

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey did u know weiss thinks ur in love w her

**Ruby Rose**

WHAT???????!!!!!!!!!

WHY

DID SOMEONE TELL HER????

**Yang Xiao Long**

HW A T

**Ruby Rose**

UHHH I FORGOT I HAVE TO WORK ON A PAPER CANT DO LUNCH BYE

**Yang Xiao Long**

RUBY I CAN SEE YOU WAITING TO SWIPE IN

GET UR BUTT OVER HERE

***

**[Wednesday 4:51 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Jaune Arc**

Hi, Pyrrha - would you be interested in grading quizzes together for Oobleck’s class sometime this weekend? I’ll buy you coffee :D

***

**[Wednesday 9:16 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

you

**Weiss Schnee**

???

**Yang Xiao Long**

sorry didn’t mean to be so ominous

**Weiss Schnee**

Can you please get to whatever the point of this conversation is?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you have to talk to ruby

immediately

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m trying to get to sleep early, so it’ll have to wait.

And before you mock me, I’m speaking with Winter in the morning.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ah, the queen of ice queens

**Weiss Schnee**

Excuse me?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes, princess of ice queens?

or do u prefer queen of ice princesses

**Weiss Schnee**

Stop texting me

**Yang Xiao Long**

man that’s such a good movie

ice princess

have u seen it

**Weiss Schnee**

Goodnight, you jerk.

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss

weiss

weiss

weiss

weiss

weiss

_[Message could not be delivered to this recipient.]_

???

_[Message could not be delivered to this recipient.]_

weiss

_[Message could not be delivered to this recipient.]_

***

**[Wednesday 9:21 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

LMFAO WEISS BLOCKED ME

**Ruby Rose**

WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO

**Yang Xiao Long**

:)

***

**[Thursday 5:30 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hi, Jaune! Sorry for not replying yesterday. I was at soccer. That sounds like a splendid idea. When were you thinking? :)

**Jaune Arc**

Why are you awake?!?!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Crew practice!

Why are you?

**Jaune Arc**

...I heard my phone go off.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh, sorry!!

**Jaune Arc**

No, no need to apologize!

But uh, Saturday afternoon? I’ll be camping out in the library all day

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’ll stop by after rugby :)

**Jaune Arc**

How many sports do you play??

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh, that’s all. Just those 3.

Plus kickboxing, I suppose. 

**Jaune Arc**

🤯

***

**[Thursday 7:31 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you for making time to call me. I greatly appreciate it. Wonderful to speak with you.

**Winter Schnee**

I’m not sure how I could have helped. You wouldn’t even tell me this person’s name.

I sincerely hope all of your academic papers aren’t so vague.

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course not!

**Winter Schnee**

I understand that university can be challenging inside the classroom as well as outside of it. You can always talk to me, Weiss.

Provided our schedules line up, of course.

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you. <3

**Winter Schnee**

Less than 3 what?

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh...never mind.

***

**[Thursday 12:18 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

AYYY where you sitting??

**Blake Belladonna**

Quiet room

**Sun Wukong**

Shocker XD

Someday Im gonna get you to sit in the big room

With the PEOPLE

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m already eating with someone, actually.

**Sun Wukong**

Shes making friends!!!

Told you youd be fine here :3

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun, wait

I told you I’m already eating with someone

Please read these messages...

Aaaaand you’re sitting next to me.

>___>

***

**[Thursday 12:27 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

I am so sorry.

I can ask him to leave.

We usually eat lunch together, so I think he just assumed

**Yang Xiao Long**

nah it’s okay

i’m not judging but

that’s a LOT of bananas

**Blake Belladonna**

He takes most of them back to his room, then sells them at parties for $5 each

Are you okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah i’m good!

gotta head out soon though, i didn’t finish some readings

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh, no problem.

**Yang Xiao Long**

_[Read 12:30pm]_

***

**[Thursday 2:41 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun?

**Sun Wukong**

Whats up!!

**Blake Belladonna**

In the future

If you’re walking towards my lunch table

And I send you half a dozen messages and at least two withering glares

**Sun Wukong**

Ah heck I just saw your texts

IM SO SORRY

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s okay

**Sun Wukong**

Wait is THAT the girl you were talking about?? O.O

**Blake Belladonna**

When was I talking about her?

**Sun Wukong**

More like when WERENT you

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, you spent enough of that meal with your arm around my chair, so I’m pretty sure she thinks we’re dating

**Sun Wukong**

Is that why she left??? Oh man

I am the worst wingman EVER

**Blake Belladonna**

Not true. Maybe the least observant, though

**Sun Wukong**

Ok well you gotta text her and clear things up

Make more planz

**Blake Belladonna**

Good idea

Lunch tomorrow?

**Sun Wukong**

Yesssss XD

***

**[Friday 12:18 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey! whats up blake?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sorry about lunch.

Also I just realized what time it is...sorry again

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha no worries

i’m cool with third wheeling, though i do prefer a heads up

**Blake Belladonna**

You weren’t third wheeling

**Yang Xiao Long**

wym

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun and I have known each other since we were kids. He’s one of my best friends. Actually, he’s the one who recommended I transfer here after things got weird at my old school.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh thats cool

glad u have him here

**Blake Belladonna**

We kissed once in high school. Both of us agreed it felt weird as soon as it happened.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ahaha that’s kinda funny, same happened w me and nora

and pyrrha

and weiss kissed me last year on her birthday but she swears she doesn’t remember it

**Blake Belladonna**

Did she talk to Ruby yet?

**Yang Xiao Long**

working on it

man, college is weird

**Blake Belladonna**

Can we get off campus sometime?

Like...just the two of us?

**Yang Xiao Long**

like...absofuckinglutely

how’s next weekend

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah :)

Is it cool if I check my schedule tomorrow?

...I just fell asleep for a second and dropped my face on my phone

Phone on my face*

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha yeah of course :)

**Blake Belladonna**

Goodnight, Yang

**Yang Xiao Long**

sweet dreams, blake!

***


	5. how are the bees?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora, Ren, and Yang celebrate their favorite everyday holiday. Ruby buries herself in candy to hide from her feelings while Weiss reaches the "lashing out" phase of her journey. Yang and Blake have a heart-to-heart about party culture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was trying to work on a script but it Was Not Happening but this here dumbassery cleansed me of my writer's block
> 
> mild content warning for drug use and brief discussion of college party culture in this chapter

**[Friday 4:20 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha

**Ruby Rose**

Hehe

**Nora Valkyrie**

ehuehuehuehuehuhe

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora what the fuck is that laugh

**Lie Ren**

she wants you to know she’s trying to respond but she can’t find the send button

**Yang Xiao Long**

wait are you guys actually blazing rn

i can be there in 8 minutes

6 if i sprint

**Lie Ren**

[NoraBlowingSmokeRings.mov]

**Yang Xiao Long**

omw

**Ruby Rose**

Yang you have class today!!! No smoking >:o

**Weiss Schnee**

I will remove myself from this group and block every single one of you

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Good morning, everyone! I’m off to crew practice :)

**Weiss Schnee**

Good moring, Pyrrah!

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss that was a disaster

**Jaune Arc**

Do you guys have any idea what time it is?!?

**Weiss Schnee**

CONSIDER YOURSELVES MUTED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Sorry for bothering you, Weiss :(

**Weiss Schnee**

No you weren’t bothering me, Pyrrha!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pyrrha im; in love Wii you

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I love you too, Nora! <3

**Jaune Arc**

Ren...are you...hotboxing our apartment?

**Lie Ren**

of course not

we opened a window

**Jaune Arc**

Why is someone knocking on our door????

IF IT’S THE POLICE I DON’T LIVE HERE

**Ruby Rose**

:o

**Yang Xiao Long**

guys lemme in

**Lie Ren**

nora’s coming

**Jaune Arc**

What was that noise?? Yang did you punch our door down????

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m pretty sure nora just fell down the stairs

**Nora Valkyrie**

682 bees live in your cieling

they want youuuuu to know they love youuuyuuyuyuu

**Ruby Rose**

Thanks bees!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby go back to sleep

you’re dreaming

**Ruby Rose**

Yang >>:(

**Yang Xiao Long**

love you sis!!!!!!

**Lie Ren**

we love you too

**Nora Valkyrie**

i love the bees

***

**[Friday 5:22 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Winter Schnee**

Remember: straightforwardness is the most effective method through which to accomplish your interpersonal objectives.

**Weiss Schnee**

My friends woke me up far too early. I think my brain is broken. Can you please translate from military speak?

**Winter Schnee**

Just be yourself.

**Weiss Schnee**

Right.

**Winter Schnee**

Your “friends” sound somewhat inconsiderate.

But it’s good to hear you refer to your peers as such.

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m going back to sleep. <3

**Winter Schnee**

I believe I understand now.

**Weiss Schnee**

Really?

**Winter Schnee**

You got < 3 hours of sleep.

**Weiss Schnee**

...Yes. That’s it. That’s exactly what it means.

***

**[Friday 7:58 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

That group chat...

What in the world did I wake up to?

**Yang Xiao Long**

a beautiful morning

morning looks like worming spelled differently

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you still high?

I’m starting to think you and Nora shouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of each other.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i met the bees blake

they’re immense

immense fans of abba

**Blake Belladonna**

I think you may be projecting onto the bees.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re so smart blake

blake blake blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

**Blake Belladonna**

Have a good day, you weirdo.

***

**[Friday 8:30 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Are you available for lunch today?

**Ruby Rose**

Ahh sorry no!! Beowulf’s going off campus

**Weiss Schnee**

Who’s Beowulf??

**Ruby Rose**

My honors lit class!!!

Lol it’s not a person

**Weiss Schnee**

Wasn’t he a person in the poem?

**Ruby Rose**

Uhh

Ok maybe I need to catch up on the reading

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m fairly certain that detail is revealed rather early on...

Perhaps we could get lunch sometime this weekend? Or dinner, if you prefer?

**Ruby Rose**

I’ve got a huge history test next wekk so I don’t really have time :(

Week*

**Weiss Schnee**

I understand.

**Ruby Rose**

I’m really sorry Weiss :(((

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 9:11am]_

***

**[Friday 11:37 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Where are you???

**Sun Wukong**

TODAYS THE DAY

**Blake Belladonna**

Uh...am I supposed to guess what that means?

Did you finally turn in your English paper from last semester?

**Sun Wukong**

Dont be ridiculous

Come to the big room

Eat lunch with new humans *<:0D

**Blake Belladonna**

Seriously, Sun?

**Sun Wukong**

Seriously

I told you Id make it happen

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, contrary to unpopular belief, today is most definitely not the day

I’m going to the quiet room. You’re welcome to join me if you like.

**Sun Wukong**

*<:0(

**Blake Belladonna**

_[Read 11:39am]_

***

**[Friday 1:17 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Hello. How are the bees?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uhm

gone

**Blake Belladonna**

Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there...

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha

hey i’m really sorry about earlier

i know some people are uncomfortable with that stuff

**Blake Belladonna**

...With bees?

**Yang Xiao Long**

no, like, drugs

and i know we haven’t really known each other that long so it was kinda weird maybe

i only do it with ren and nora and like not that often

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s fine, Yang. It doesn’t bother me

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re sure? you can tell me

for real

**Blake Belladonna**

Honestly, I get a little skittish around heaving drinking, and big campus parties aren’t really my thing. But I don’t mind if people are smoking

**Yang Xiao Long**

i totally get that

who wants to hang out in frats anyway amirite

why are they so sticky? i never want to know the truth

**Blake Belladonna**

Agreed.

Thanks for checking in

It’s not really something a lot of people think about

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey of course, making people feel comfortable is my jam

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, you’re very good at it.

**Yang Xiao Long**

:D :D :D

***

**[Friday 4:01 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

[Comfortable_Screenshot.jpg]

this is the best compliment i have EVER gotten

and its from blake so that’s at least a 6x bonus

**Weiss Schnee**

So happy for you.

**Yang Xiao Long**

did you talk to ruby yet

**Weiss Schnee**

She’s busy.

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s sitting on our couch eating gummy worms

stop making excuses and get your ass over here

**Weiss Schnee**

Maybe you should get your ass out of other people’s business

**Yang Xiao Long**

whoa

cranky weiss is mean

**Weiss Schnee**

Then perhaps you shouldn’t have awakened me with your juvenile antics at 4:20 in the morning

**Yang Xiao Long**

_[Read 4:03pm]_

***

**[Saturday 10:15 a.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (4 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

The first official meeting of the Suffering Squad will convene this afternoon at 1:30 p.m. sharp!!!

**Lie Ren**

sounds good

**Nora Valkyrie**

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

**Jaune Arc**

I’ll be there!

**Lie Ren**

glad to hear it

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yes, Jaune. I think I speak for all of us when I say we look forward to basking in your absolutely unquestionable expertise

**Jaune Arc**

:)

***

**[Saturday 10:17 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Jaune Arc**

You told Nora.

**Lie Ren**

no

she figured it out very, very easily

**Jaune Arc**

How?!

**Lie Ren**

yesterday in class professor oobleck asked you how long the Four Years’ War lasted

and you said it was “subjective”

**Jaune Arc**

..........

***

**[Saturday 1:38 p.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (4 members)]**

**Jaune Arc**

I’m at a table with Pyrrha! First floor

**Lie Ren**

isn’t she the other ta for this class?

**Nora Valkyrie**

How interesting! 🧐

**Ruby Rose**

I feel like I’m missing something, guys

**Jaune Arc**

Who wants coffee???

**Nora Valkyrie**

4 sugars 2 shots of vanilla

**Lie Ren**

nora, that’s disgusting

3 sugars 3 shots of vanilla

**Ruby Rose**

Noooo Jaune!!! We’re supposed to buy you snacks to thank you

**Jaune Arc**

First round’s on me :)

**Nora Valkyrie**

so selfless

**Lie Ren**

truly inspiring.

***

**[Saturday 5:45 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hello!

**Weiss Schnee**

Pyrrha?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Sorry, yes! This is Pyrrha :)

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh, I know. I have your contact saved. I was just surprised to hear from you, that’s all.

How is your Saturday thus far?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh, you know. Lots of grading.

**Weiss Schnee**

Ha ha, yes. So much grading.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I didn’t know you were a TA too! What class?

**Weiss Schnee**

Can I help you with something?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner tonight.

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes! Of course.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Great! How’s 7?

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll be here :)

There*

***

**[Saturday 6:56 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

please explain to me why you’ve been in the dining hall for a solid 2 and a half hours

**Weiss Schnee**

Are you watching me??

Why have YOU been in the dining hall for two and a half hours?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby said she saw you here earlier

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh.

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s with you guys

it’s really getting weird now

i can’t even think about planning halloween with all this drama

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s almost two months away. Stop being ridiculous.

Oh, wait. That’s just your personality!

**Yang Xiao Long**

weak, cranky weiss

i expect meaner from u

SHIT IS THAT PYRRHA

ARE YOU GUYS EATING TOGETHER

IS IT A DATE

IS THIS WHY U WERE SO MEAN EARLIER

**Weiss Schnee**

NO. It is not a date.

Though perhaps you weren’t entirely off base with some of your previous assumptions.

No matter how utterly inappropriate it is to make such conjectures.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m not super sure what that means

but if it means what i think it might maybe mean

i’m proud of u and i love u <3

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you.

***

**[Saturday 7:03 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha and weiss are having dinner

together

a l o n e

**Nora Valkyrie**

holy SHIT live tweet me every detail

**Yang Xiao Long**

i think weiss is gonna spontaneously combust

she just missed her mouth entirely and dropped a thousand grains of rice in her own lap

**Nora Valkyrie**

praying for her 🙏🙏

***

**[Saturday 9:33 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

have you ever watched nailed it

**Blake Belladonna**

Not yet. It’s in my queue.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh my god i’m crying

someone just made a cake that

no u know what i’m not gonna spoil anything

**Blake Belladonna**

What episode?

**Yang Xiao Long**

first of season 3

wait are you gonna watch it rn??

**Blake Belladonna**

Sounds like more fun than going out.

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg

tell me when you’re pressing play

**Blake Belladonna**

Huh?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll restart and watch w you

**Blake Belladonna**

Or we could watch the next one. Since you've already seen it.

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s worth watching twice

and tell me if you have to pause bc you’re laughing too hard or anything

i live for the real-time reactions

**Blake Belladonna**

In that case, you could just call me.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm am i casually subtweeting people who say BMBLB has no foundation/basis in canon just a lil bit? maybe so....
> 
> let me know if the emojis are showing up?? sometimes they're there when i format and then they just *poof* 
> 
> love u all hope this barely controlled chaos brings u a brief moment of joy in ur day <3


	6. nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday: the thunderdome of brunch, kickboxing, and emotions. 
> 
> Weiss avoids processing her not-date with Pyrrha and Ruby confronts Jaune about his supposed academic expertise. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Yang and Blake get personal in their late-night conversations.

**[Sunday 9:16 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

can i bring ren to brunch?

big history test this week and his presence is the only thing that can make me study

He’s at least 60% of my impulse control

Pyrrha’s the other 40

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Happy to help!

***

**[Sunday 9:49 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

i’m brining ren

BRINGING*

he’d make a terrible pickle

as if such a sweet boy could ever become salty

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Aww :)

**Nora Valkyrie**

where is YANG

***

**[Sunday 10:37 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

YANG WE’RE AT YOUR HOUSE DAMMIT

ANSWER YOUR FJKLFJKDL BUZZER

***

**[Sunday 10:39 a.m.]**

**[Ruby Rose created the group (3 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

Are you guys downstairs???

**Nora Valkyrie**

YES WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS

**Pyrrha Nikos**

About 8 minutes, actually :)

It’s no problem!

**Ruby Rose**

You guys can come on up!!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yang better have a GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS MESS

**Ruby Rose**

She fell asleep talking to someone last night and forgot to plug her phone in :(

So her alarm didn’t go off

Pancakes are going on the griddle as we speak!!! Don’t worry ^_^

**Nora Valkyrie**

this is a DISASTER

**Ruby Rose**

Ooooh she said she got more fancy syrup!

**Nora Valkyrie**

all is forgiven

***

**[Sunday 11:14 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yang Xiao Long how do you plead

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh???

why are you always texting us during brunch

it’s rude

**Nora Valkyrie**

who am i gonna offend?? the pancakes?????????

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah

they can’t text :(

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oh my GOD you’re right

this is so sad 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

**Yang Xiao Long**

alexa play tragedy by christina perri

**Nora Valkyrie**

Don’t think you’re getting out of this

WHY WAS YOUR PHONE DEAD

WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO ALL NIGHT

**Yang Xiao Long**

whoa

first of all i forget to charge my phone all the time so that’s not even evidence

second, it wasn’t *all night*

**Nora Valkyrie**

AHA!!!! SO THERE IS SOMEONE

**Yang Xiao Long**

third, pyrrha had dinner with weiss so i don’t see how that’s not #1 on the gay agenda for today

**Nora Valkyrie**

I already knew about that!!

And it wasn’t gay dinner, it was platonic dinner

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

That’s true. I was just worried about her. She’s been isolating herself recently.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ice-olating

nice

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Not to be rude, but is there some reason we can’t talk about this out loud?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Gross Ruby doesn’t want to hear about Yang’s love life

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Wait, you’re seeing someone??

That’s SO exciting! :)

**Nora Valkyrie**

DO WE KNOW HER!!!

Or him or them

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey

just because i said the new aladdin can get it doesn’t mean i want to date guys

**Nora Valkyrie**

[EyebrowWiggle.gif]

that cast is a Bisexual Fever Dream

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Yang, whoever it is, we support you!

As long as they’re considerate and respect your boundaries.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yea^^^

And if they don’t we’ll beat them up 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok, no one is beating anyone up

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Well, we do have kickboxing in about 35 minutes...

**Yang Xiao Long**

...except for all of us in about 35 minutes

**Nora Valkyrie**

ehuehuehuehuheuheuehehue

**Yang Xiao Long**

do that laugh one more time and i’m hiding your syrup next week

**Nora Valkyrie**

[BuyMySilence.jpg]

***

**[Sunday 3:34 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

so

**Weiss Schnee**

You have got to stop sending me such cryptic messages.

**Yang Xiao Long**

how was dinner with pyrrha

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 3:35pm]_

***

**[Sunday 4:09 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Jaune I have a question!!!

**Jaune Arc**

Shoot

**Ruby Rose**

I’m looking everywhere but I can’t find the reason General Ironwood withdrew his forces after the Battle of Haven

Didn’t they win???

**Jaune Arc**

Yes

**Ruby Rose**

But if they won why would he leave???

**Jaune Arc**

Well, you see, that’s subjective

There are so many conflicting accounts

**Ruby Rose**

There are?! I can’t find any primary sources for my essay prep :(

**Jaune Arc**

Secondary sources

So many conflicting secondary accounts

**Ruby Rose**

Can I ask you another question?

**Jaune Arc**

Of course, that’s what I’m here for

**Ruby Rose**

Why are you pretending you know all the answers?

It’s okay to not know something, even if you’re a TA

**Jaune Arc**

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Ruby Rose**

Jaune

**Jaune Arc**

Oh man, I can feel your disapproving glare through my scroll

Stop doing that please

**Ruby Rose**

Only if you tell me why you’re pretending >:o

**Jaune Arc**

Okay, okay! Just...promise you won’t get mad.

And please don’t tell Pyrrha.

***

**[Sunday 5:16 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss

i might have gone 6-0 in spars this morning

but i’m never too tired to kick your ass

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 5:17pm]_

***

**[Sunday 5:20 p.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (3 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

I’m calling an emergency meeting tomorrow over dinner!!!

**Nora Valkyrie**

THANK GOODNESS

i didn’t want to be the one to say it, but...

**Lie Ren**

we’ve been having a rough time studying this weekend.

**Ruby Rose**

Smoking probably didn’t help >:c

**Lie Ren**

oh, it did

it inspired me to consider salem’s motivations for starting the war in an entirely new light

**Nora Valkyrie**

Maybe we should take the test high

**Jaune Arc**

No, that is a terrible idea.

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU’RE A TERRIBLE IDEA

**Ruby Rose**

Jaune, can you make it to dinner tomorrow???

**Jaune Arc**

...You sure you want me to come?

Ren and Nora know everything, by the way. They figured it out.

**Lie Ren**

again, very easily

**Ruby Rose**

Of course you should come Jaune!!! You’re a part of this study group

Even if you’re not an expert on Remnant’s history :)

**Jaune Arc**

And you’re all okay with this?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Of course! We’re your BEST FRIENDS

And you need to learn this stuff too, ya dummy

IT’S YOUR MAJOR

**Lie Ren**

i think you’re onto something with your “it’s subjective” thing

a lot of things are, when you stop to think about it

pretty much everything, actually

existence is subjective

**Ruby Rose**

Ren, are you high again??

**Lie Ren**

no

**Ruby Rose**

Tell the truth

**Nora Valkyrie**

YESSS 😎💨

***

**[Sunday 7:58 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey, i hate to keep doing this, but is weiss ok??

**Blake Belladonna**

I haven’t seen her all day.

**Yang Xiao Long**

seriously??

she usually holes up in her room on sundays

**Blake Belladonna**

And does all her homework for the week in advance

I noticed

**Yang Xiao Long**

honestly it’s a little scary

powerful

but frightening

**Blake Belladonna**

Good way to sum up Weiss

If I see her, I’ll let her know you’re worried.

***

**[Sunday 8:02 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

alright elsa i’m not gonna kick ur ass. u called my bluff

at this point i can only assume something terrible happened at ur dinner, so i’ve got plenty of cheesy movies and ice cream ready if u need it

💛

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 8:02pm]_

***

**[Sunday 8:04 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

i just texted her, so don’t worry about it

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re sure? I’m a little concerned about her now

**Yang Xiao Long**

she does this sometimes

whenever she has feelings

so once every 47 years

nice

**Blake Belladonna**

Did you just “nice” your own joke?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it was a good joke, blake

seriously though, weiss has to process stuff on her own before she’ll even think about talking to anybody else

except like, her sister

they don't get to talk that often tho

eventually she’ll chill out

**Blake Belladonna**

Sounds like you know her pretty well.

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha yeah

***

**[Sunday 9:45 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

What kind of ice cream?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ugh fine

i’ll get some of that fancy sorbet

you know that shit is like $8 a pint

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll pay you back.

Obviously.

**Yang Xiao Long**

idc about the $$$

you just have to promise not to make that fkn noise when u eat it

i don’t care how good the sorbet is

that sound is obscene

**Weiss Schnee**

Can I come over tomorrow?

**Yang Xiao Long**

:D

***

**[Sunday 10:03 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

the schnee-tuation is resolved

**Blake Belladonna**

Good work 👍

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’ll probably just come cry on our couch and then pretend it didn’t happen

and ruby will bake cookies i hope

that just makes everybody's day better

**Blake Belladonna**

Sounds like you’ve got a solid plan in place.

So...what about you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

what about me?

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you find it helpful to talk things through with people?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uhh idk

**Blake Belladonna**

Sorry. That was kind of a personal question

You don’t have to answer it

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s ok!!

no one’s ever asked me that

writing stuff helps me think

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re a writer?

**Yang Xiao Long**

not like a fancy writer haha

i kind of keep a journal

**Blake Belladonna**

Kind of?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah it’s hard to explain haha

**Blake Belladonna**

Haha

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s funny?

besides all of my jokes, obviously

**Blake Belladonna**

You say “haha” a lot. Nervous habit?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok be honest

can you like, see inside my brain or something?

**Blake Belladonna**

Haha ;)

**Yang Xiao Long**

what do you do?

like do you write or anything

**Blake Belladonna**

I sketch, mostly

**Yang Xiao Long**

in that little book you carry around?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah

How’d you know?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i notice stuff

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ve noticed that you notice stuff :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

heh

yeah i guess i write more than i talk to people about deep stuff

but like you’re super thoughtful and smart

so i don’t mind talking to you

**Blake Belladonna**

You “don’t mind”

How flattering

**Yang Xiao Long**

hm

no i definitely like talking to you

**Blake Belladonna**

I like talking to you, too.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok good

cuz otherwise this talking-based conversation we’re having would be kinda awkward

nice

**Blake Belladonna**

🤦🏻

***

**[Sunday 11:27 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

k fine, it’s blake

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Nora, do you have Venmo?

**Nora Valkyrie**

do you take coffee shop coupons

i have a punch card to the cafe in Monty

only 2 punches left til a free drink ;)

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I accept cash. ;)

$10, like we agreed

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh, guys??

you’re kind of ruining my dramatic confession

**Nora Valkyrie**

your dramatic confession almost cost me my punch card

jerk

**Yang Xiao Long**

wait

you bet on who i was talking to???

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Sorry! It was just for fun.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Does that mean I don’t have to pay you??

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

It does not.

:)

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah nora, follow through

**Nora Valkyrie**

don’t try to change the subject!!!

what happened to your *confession*

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Nora, now you’re the one changing the subject.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Venmo’d

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Back to you, Yang.

**Yang Xiao Long**

way to throw me under the fkn bus valkyrie

**Nora Valkyrie**

😘😘😘

***

**[Monday 12:04 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey, mom.

so, i have something to tell you

it’s kind of scary now that i’m saying it haha

blake says i type that a lot when i get nervous

she’s right

anyway, she’s the reason i’m writing this.

when you met dad, did you know?

i know it took you guys a while to find each other

but i remember how happy you were together

even when i was only like

4

it was so obvious

anyway did you know right away?

she's like

agh i can't find the right word

“perfect” seems so superficial

we just connect, you know? like two halves of a zipper

i feel like i can tell her anything.

i almost told her about you

she said she likes to sketch, and i bet she’s a really great artist

maybe she’ll show me her drawings sometime

i’d ask but i don’t want to scare her off

it's like

she sees the world in this really interesting way

and i want to see what she sees.

plus she’s like, SO pretty

i think

hm

i think i’m gonna fall in love with her

thanks for listening

miss you

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i uh
> 
> idk where that ending came from. sorry for backhanding u all with feelings 😘
> 
> anyway lmk ur fave dumbass joke, mine is 100% "the schnee-tuation"


	7. you know what, don't answer that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaune comes clean to Pyrrha while team RNJR a.k.a the Suffering Squad faces the dreaded history test. 
> 
> Weiss confronts Yang about her intentions with Blake, but Yang doesn't take too kindly to her implications.

**[Monday 2:37 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

does our school teach portuguese

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk why

**Nora Valkyrie**

me and ren's high karaoke vlog is TAKING OFF in brazil

and i want to know what all the comments say

**Yang Xiao Long**

google translate exists

**Nora Valkyrie**

How is Google Translate going to help me build an international fanbase?!? HMMM???

This is my chance to COMMIT to a career as an internationally famous YouTuber ok

We’re at 690k views

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy shit congrats

on the quantity but also the number specifically

**Nora Valkyrie**

thank you, autographs are $100

Friends & family discount

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m all set thanks

you vandalized my bedroom wall last halloween

**Nora Valkyrie**

that’s copyrighted

your wall is now my property

***

**[Monday 8:10 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Jaune Arc**

Hey, Pyrrha - can I ask you something?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

You just did. ;)

**Jaune Arc**

What?

Oh, hahaha. I get it

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Sorry. I think Yang and Nora are a bad influence...

Anyway, what did you want to ask me?

**Jaune Arc**

Well uh

It’s kind of awkward

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Jaune, I don’t mind

Whatever it is, you can ask me.

**Jaune Arc**

Okay, here goes

Would you be willing to tutor me?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh.

Of course! No problem.

Wait, for what? We’re not in any of the same classes.

**Jaune Arc**

...Oobleck’s

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Military History of Remnant?

Aren’t you his TA?

**Jaune Arc**

I think this might be easier to explain in person, actually...

Are you free for coffee anytime today?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Do you have breakfast plans? I’m at Monty’s.

***

**[Monday 2:59 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

are you still coming over tonight?

**Weiss Schnee**

I certainly don't have to. Are you busy?

**Yang Xiao Long**

u fool

your drama is way more important than homework

**Weiss Schnee**

I think I’m getting a migraine.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you can still come over

we can sit in a dark and quiet room together

am i really gonna have to eat two pints of fancy sorbet by myself??

**Weiss Schnee**

Will Ruby be around?

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s got study group i think

i figured u wouldn’t want her to be here

for whatever deeply suspicious reason you still refuse to tell me

so will u come over

**Weiss Schnee**

What time?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yesssss

8:30

ish

***

**[Monday 3:34 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Jaune Arc**

So uh, you took that way better than I expected

**Pyrrha Nikos**

What did you expect?

**Jaune Arc**

Devastating disappointment? Soul-crushing regret? I don’t know

Really though, thanks for being so understanding. I’m not proud of it, but I wanted to stay at Beacon so badly

And now I want to be able to contribute something to Ruby’s study group.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Jaune, I’m glad you asked me to tutor you.

How about we get started over dinner tonight?

**Jaune Arc**

Oh, that’s soon

Don’t you have soccer or something?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Yes. I do still eat dinner on days when I have practice :)

**Jaune Arc**

...Fair point

Wait we’re having study group at dinner

The test is tomorrow

**Pyrrha Nikos**

In that case, we have a lot to do.

**Jaune Arc**

You’re coming? You don’t have to waste your night helping us

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’ll be there at 7 :)

***

**[Monday 10:41 p.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (4 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

TEAM RNJR HOW ARE WE FEELING

**Nora Valkyrie**

AMPED

PUMPED

THIRD WORD THAT ENDS IN “MPED”

**Lie Ren**

humped?

wait, i take that back.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Ren, you DOG

your place or mine?? 😏

**Ruby Rose**

Jaune please thank Pyrrha for helping us!!!

**Jaune Arc**

Will do!

**Ruby Rose**

We are gonna ace this test you guys!

**Nora Valkyrie**

YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

ren come let me in

**Jaune Arc**

he said he’ll be right down

**Nora Valkyrie**

won't he though 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

You might wanna put on some headphones Jaune

**Ruby Rose**

Nora this is a study group chat >:c

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah she’s not gonna answer for a while

**Ruby Rose**

I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT JAUNE

**Jaune Arc**

I’M SORRY

**Ruby Rose**

I FORGIVE YOU

***

**[Tuesday 1:17 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

how are u today

**Weiss Schnee**

Better. Thank you for having me over last night.

**Yang Xiao Long**

screenshotted

i’m getting this proof of gratitude and friendship framed

will u sign it?

**Weiss Schnee**

Suddenly my migraine is back.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll take that as a maybe

**Weiss Schnee**

ANYWAY.

Seeing as you showed such kindness to me, I figured I should return the favor.

**Yang Xiao Long**

im touched

but u don’t have to buy me sorbet

**Weiss Schnee**

If you want to ask Blake out, you have my blessing.

**Yang Xiao Long**

asjkldshagkhdslakgjdkla

your blessing??

what are u, a conservative dad????

**Weiss Schnee**

Ugh, that’s not what I meant and you know it.

I’ll stop getting in your way.

**Yang Xiao Long**

thank u, mr. schneeson

i promise i’ll have her home by 10

the next morning ;))

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m joking i swear i respect ur daughter

**Weiss Schnee**

Listen to me very carefully. She cares about you; it’s sickeningly obvious. Promise me you’re taking this seriously.

**Yang Xiao Long**

...did u just use a semicolon in a text message

**Weiss Schnee**

YANG.

She hasn’t told me much, but I know she’s had a difficult history with relationships.

Don’t treat her like another one of your idiotic flings.

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss, what the hell?

do you actually think i’m leading her on?

i wouldn’t do that to anyone, let alone her

i know people say shit but they’re wrong, okay?

**Weiss Schnee**

I want to believe you. I do.

But like you said, people talk. A lot. 

**Yang Xiao Long**

well right now *i’m* talking

and i’m telling you

they’re all

wrong

weiss, i’ve never even slept with anyone

**Weiss Schnee**

You haven’t??

**Yang Xiao Long**

no???

is that so fucking hard to believe?

you know what, don’t answer that

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m sorry.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah, thanks

***

**[Tuesday 1:32 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey

**Blake Belladonna**

Hey :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

i just want to be super clear about something

**Blake Belladonna**

??

**Yang Xiao Long**

this weekend

is it a date?

like do you want it to be a date?

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh

have you seen you

have you talked to you

fuck yeah i want it to be a date

sorry that was really aggressive haha

if you’re not into it then i totally understand

i don’t want to pressure you or anything

**Blake Belladonna**

There’s nothing I’d rather do this weekend than go out with you.

On a date.

Are you okay? You’re typing really fast

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk

i’m fine

actually, no, i’m not

**Blake Belladonna**

What’s going on?

Maybe take a few deep breaths.

**Yang Xiao Long**

okay

so weiss said some things

and i’m sure you’ve heard similar stuff

but i don’t have one-night stands every weekend or whatever

not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s not me

and i just want you to know that

**Blake Belladonna**

First of all, I think you’re overestimating the size of my social circle.

Secondly, I’m sorry people assume things like that about you.

Jealousy and insecurity can very easily devolve into dishonesty and cruelty

**Yang Xiao Long**

i

whoa

yeah

are you sure you’re not a writer?

**Blake Belladonna**

:P

How do you feel about live music?

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i LOVE concerts

**Blake Belladonna**

Think black tie

**Yang Xiao Long**

ooh snazzy

it’s only fair to warn you that i look incredible in formal wear

**Blake Belladonna**

Somehow I find that very easy to believe

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s the concert?

no wait surprise me

what day?

**Blake Belladonna**

Friday night 

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s

a

DATE

**Blake Belladonna**

Gr9 :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg 😍😍

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you and Weiss okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uhh

yeah i should talk to her

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah.

***

**[Tuesday 6:47 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, I am genuinely, truly sorry.

I’m just trying to watch out for her. For both of you, really.

Obviously I shouldn’t have believed the gossip, even for a second.

**Yang Xiao Long**

good

thank you

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course. 

**Yang Xiao Long**

you can make it up to me 

by helping me pick an outfit for this weekend

it’s gotta be fórmâlwëår

**Weiss Schnee**

For what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i have a date

**Weiss Schnee**

You certainly work fast.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok let’s tone down the judginess

u may be the ice princess

but said ice is very thin right now

**Weiss Schnee**

I suppose that’s fair.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah u better suppose

***

**[Tuesday 9:28 p.m.]**

**[Suffering Squad (4 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

SUFFERING SQUAD HOW ARE WE FEELING

**Nora Valkyrie**

BAD

I DID BAD

WHAT EVEN IS A NUCKELAVEE

**Lie Ren**

i think i might take professor oobleck up on that retake.

**Jaune Arc**

Aw, come on guys! I’m sure you did better than you think.

**Nora Valkyrie**

My response to the last question was literally, literally a drawing of a dinosaur

[DinoDoodle.jpg]

**Ruby Rose**

Ohhh it’s so cute!!!

**Lie Ren**

nora, did you take your phone into the test?

**Ruby Rose**

Good thing you didn’t get caught :o

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oh my GOD

I could have GOOGLED THE ANSWERS 

now all I have is a solid C+ and this perfect dinosaur photo

**Lie Ren**

can you print me a copy of that?

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah same actually

**Ruby Rose**

I would also like one too please!

It makes me happy ^__^

**Nora Valkyrie**

I LOVE YOU GUYS

forget school i’m becoming an ARTIST

slash vlogger

we’re up to 860k renny boy

**Lie Ren**

you should make that little dinosaur the channel logo

**Nora Valkyrie**

DONE

***

**[Wednesday 11:24 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

[FancyOutfit.jpg]

thots?

**Weiss Schnee**

Seriously?

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s wrong w it????

**Weiss Schnee**

I thought you said it was a formal event.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m wearing a blazer!

**Weiss Schnee**

MAYBE consider something other than a ratty crop top underneath it.

**Yang Xiao Long**

[BlazerNoCropTop.jpg]

**Weiss Schnee**

NOT JUST YOUR BRA.

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk i think ur onto something here

thanks weiss!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, NO.

**Yang Xiao Long**

:)))))

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brazil shoutout for clar_a_m, inspired by YagaYuu's comment last chapter :p
> 
> this chapter got uhh serious again, so i'm gonna just stop apologizing for that
> 
> i'm vehemently a member of Team Stop Stereotyping Yang, so this is my take on how she might feel about unsavory assumptions about her love life. considering she's got her own abandonment issues, i don't think she would treat relationships and emotional intimacy casually. i think rumors about that sort of thing might really, really get to her even if she would otherwise let gossip roll off her back.


	8. gay or nay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween party planning begins on the group chat. First thing's first: THEME. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Weiss starts to tiptoe out of the closet with awkward flirting and some good ol' fashioned projection. And finally, Yang and Blake's first date arrives!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a post about a RWBY Greek Gods AU and it wouldn't leave me alone. So here's an AU inside of an AU.

**[Wednesday 10:19 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

alright party people

and weiss

**Weiss Schnee**

Excuse me?

**Yang Xiao Long**

hit me w ur best halloween party theme suggestions

**Nora Valkyrie**

w e e d

**Ruby Rose**

How is that a theme???

**Nora Valkyrie**

green decorations

fog machine

everyone dresses as a plant

**Jaune Arc**

What about Greek Gods?

**Weiss Schnee**

Jaune, that’s so cliché.

**Jaune Arc**

I thought it was kinda cool...

**Blake Belladonna**

Isn’t Halloween kind of a theme already

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake :(

ur breaking my heart :'(

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang takes Halloween very seriously.

**Blake Belladonna**

I can tell

Honestly I’ve never really celebrated it before

**Yang Xiao Long**

WHAT

**Nora Valkyrie**

she SAID she’s never really celebrated it before

**Yang Xiao Long**

thank u, nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

[WeGotYou.gif]

**Ruby Rose**

Halloween’s not super popular outside of Vale

Blake where are you from???

**Blake Belladonna**

Menagerie

**Lie Ren**

i’ve heard it’s beautiful there :)

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah, it can be

**Yang Xiao Long**

alright i have no choice

this WILL be the greatest halloween party i’ve ever thrown

**Weiss Schnee**

Just so you know, she says that every year.

**Yang Xiao Long**

and have i disappointed you yet, dr. frankenschnee???

**Weiss Schnee**

Do you actually want me to answer that?

**Ruby Rose**

It’s true!!! Every year is better than the last ^^

**Yang Xiao Long**

thank you little sister!!!

in order to make this the single greatest party that anyone has ever been to

first

i need

a THEME

**Ruby Rose**

Vampires!!!

**Jaune Arc**

Greek Gods?

**Lie Ren**

weed

**Nora Valkyrie**

MY MAN

**Yang Xiao Long**

you guys are literally no help

i’m turning to google

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hello! How was everyone’s day?

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha! halloween party theme go

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Um... Greek Gods?

**Jaune Arc**

:D

**Weiss Schnee**

Great idea, Pyrrha!

**Jaune Arc**

Weiss, you are as transparent as the ice in your nicknamesake

**Yang Xiao Long**

ouuuuuch

jaune just for that you can stay in this chat

**Jaune Arc**

...Was that up in the air?

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know what greek gods it is

why not

pls reserve ur costumes asap

**Nora Valkyrie**

ZEUS DIBS CALLED IT

**Ruby Rose**

Not gonna argue with you on that one...

Zeus is kind of the worst

**Nora Valkyrie**

Which is why I’m reclaiming lightning for WOMANKIND

REN IS HERA DIBS CALLED IT

**Lie Ren**

you know zeus and hera have a notoriously unstable relationship, right?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yes

It’s IRONIC

Our fans will love it trust me

**Lie Ren**

you know i do. 💕

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Aw :)

**Ruby Rose**

Hephaestus, please!! 

**Yang Xiao Long**

makes sense

he builds things

anyway i think mine is pretty obvious

**Nora Valkyrie**

The gayest goddess of them all

Blessing us with her presence 🙏🙏🙏

**Yang Xiao Long**

🌈🌈🌈😎🌈🌈🌈

***

**[Wednesday 10:48 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Do you know what time it is?

**Ruby Rose**

10:48

If you look at the top of your phone it should tell you

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m aware.

I meant that it’s very late.

**Ruby Rose**

Oh sorry!!! You were just texting the group chat so I figured you were awake still

Sorry for bothering you D:

**Weiss Schnee**

I didn’t mean it that way.

**Ruby Rose**

Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?

If you don’t have plans already

Like you said it’s super late

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes.

**Ruby Rose**

So I totally get it if you’re busy

OH YAY

Now that my test is over I can hang out again :D

Sorry I’ve been so busy!!

I think I did alright on the test though so that’s good

**Weiss Schnee**

There’s no need to apologize for prioritizing your schoolwork.

I’ve been dealing with some things this week anyway.

**Ruby Rose**

Oooh sounds serious :o

Do you want to talk about it?

**Weiss Schnee**

If we talk now, we won’t have anything to discuss at lunch tomorrow.

**Ruby Rose**

Ehehehe Weiss that’s not how it works

When you like talking to someone you don’t run out of stuff to say

**Weiss Schnee**

I imagine that speechlessness is a foreign concept to you in any circumstance.

**Ruby Rose**

You are right!!!

I’ll see you tomorrow Weeiss :D

Weiss* Ah sorry!

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s alright.

Rubyy

**Ruby Rose**

DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE

**Weiss Schnee**

Perhaps...

***

**[Wednesday 11:13 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

[Rubyy.jpg]

!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

jkdas;gjdkhagkds weiss trying to flirt will never not be funny

have fun at lunch ;))))

**Ruby Rose**

Whaaaa trying to flirt???

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya

i thought that’s what u were “!!!!!” about

can i send that screenshot to nora

she’ll cry

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss is flirting?? WITH ME???

IT'S JUST LUNCH JUST A NORMAL LUNCH

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby i love you

but please learn how to talk to girls

**Ruby Rose**

aaaaAAAAaaAaAAahhhHHhhHHHhH

***

**[Thursday 8:49 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Yang, has anyone claimed Demeter for the party yet?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you have ;)

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Splendid!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Splendid

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hm?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I just love you that’s all 💖💖💖💖

**Pyrrha Nikos**

:)

**Blake Belladonna**

I guess I'll go as Athena

She's interesting

**Nora Valkyrie**

Nothing sexier than a lady with a big brain, right Yang???

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u flirting with blake *for* me?

**Nora Valkyrie**

[WeGotYou.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

I was considering Medusa, but I'm not sure she's technically a god

**Nora Valkyrie**

Nothing sexier than...a lady with snake hair?

**Yang Xiao Long**

absolutely

***

**[Thursday 10:02 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi

**Blake Belladonna**

Hi

**Yang Xiao Long**

tomorrow

**Blake Belladonna**

Tomorrow?

**Yang Xiao Long**

friday?

**Blake Belladonna**

Tomorrow is in fact Friday

Do you want a gold star?

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha no

ok yes

tomorrow night tho?

**Blake Belladonna**

Hm, you want your gold star tomorrow night?

Usually it takes 3-5 business days to process

**Yang Xiao Long**

.....are u messing with me

**Blake Belladonna**

:P

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m telling weiss that ur bullying me

**Blake Belladonna**

Then she’ll give me a gold star

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur probably right lmao

**Blake Belladonna**

You two have an...interesting dynamic

**Yang Xiao Long**

fire and ice, baby

speaking of weiss

she helped me plan my outfit for tomorrow

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh?

**Yang Xiao Long**

[BlazerNoCropTop.jpg]

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh

**Yang Xiao Long**

such a wordsmith

actually tho is it okay?

**Blake Belladonna**

“Okay” is an understatement

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i’m already going out with u

you don’t have to keep hitting on me

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you want me to stop?

**Yang Xiao Long**

gods no

**Blake Belladonna**

Good

***

**[Thursday 5:37 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

coco has claimed aphrodite 

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun wants to be Hermes so he can put little wings on his Heelies 

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh that's outstanding

**Blake Belladonna**

And he's bringing his friend Neptune

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh cool does he wanna be poseidon??

**Blake Belladonna**

Absolutely not

**Yang Xiao Long**

a twist

**Blake Belladonna**

He says Apollo

**Jaune Arc**

Aw, I wanted to be Apollo...

Who else is left? I don’t really know mythology

**Weiss Schnee**

This was literally your idea.

**Lie Ren**

you could be eros

**Jaune Arc**

Who??

**Nora Valkyrie**

Jaune calls Eros!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

fine but no weird diapers

not again

**Jaune Arc**

I did not agree to this

Who is Eros???

**Lie Ren**

look it up

**Jaune Arc**

OH COME ON

***

**[Friday 1:58 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Behave yourself tonight.

**Yang Xiao Long**

what else would i do

behave someone else?

**Weiss Schnee**

Why do I even bother?

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss i know ur just trying to be a good roomie

but u have nothing to worry about

**Weiss Schnee**

What are you wearing?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you know what i’m wearing

u picked it out

**Weiss Schnee**

I did not! Ugh

Don’t blame me when you’re kicked out of the theatre.

**Yang Xiao Long**

theatre???

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes, Yang. Operas are generally performed in theatres.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i was mocking ur pretentious-ass spelling

but thanks for ruining the surprise

**Weiss Schnee**

...Ah. I didn’t realize you didn’t know.

I’m sorry.

**Yang Xiao Long**

apology screenshotted

anyway i’m wearing the outfit

tits out for carmen

***

**[Friday 4:47 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ve decided to attend the party as Artemis. 

**Nora Valkyrie**

Ooooooooooooh Yang’s not gonna like that

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**Lie Ren**

she already called artemis

**Weiss Schnee**

No she didn’t!

**Nora Valkyrie**

[GayestGoddess.jpg]

Receipts

**Weiss Schnee**

Right

So she’s going as Iris, goddess of rainbows.

**Jaune Arc**

Oh, Weiss. Sweet, sweet Weiss

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t talk to me.

I don’t understand. Why else would she use that many rainbow emojis??

Artemis was a “virgin goddess,” it says right here. She wasn’t a lesbian.

**Ruby Rose**

She hung out with a bunch of lady huntresses all the time

**Nora Valkyrie**

And literally killed men who harassed them

Where’s **@Pyrrha Nikos???** She’s the Classics Historiâhn

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hello again!

What’s the question?

**Ruby Rose**

Artemis: gay or nay?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Well, it really depends who you’re reading. Older accounts (which were written almost exclusively by men) often posit that she was asexual, but the word meant something different back then. It wasn’t used to describe an orientation so much as to explain her lack of relationships with men. They were more inclined to believe she was a virgin than concede that she might have been involved with other women. More recent interpretations are much more willing to accept she may have had Sapphic relationships thanks to the shifts in our own culture and understanding. 

**Ruby Rose**

Wow that’s really interesting!!!

**Nora Valkyrie**

GAY

OR

NAY

**Pyrrha Nikos**

In my opinion? The former.

**Nora Valkyrie**

POINT NORA

POINT YANG

**Ruby Rose**

POINT JAUNE

**Jaune Arc**

Huh?

**Ruby Rose**

Idk it seemed like you could use a little pick-me-up

Plus this was your idea first :D

**Jaune Arc**

...That is very kind of you Ruby

I appreciate it!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I love your idea, Jaune! Great minds :)

**Jaune Arc**

Uh, thanks haha

**Nora Valkyrie**

Where is Yang anyway

She’s usually glued to this chat

**Weiss Schnee**

She has plans tonight.

**Nora Valkyrie**

PLANS

WITHOUT ME

Artemis will hear about this

***

**[Friday 5:21 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey where are you???

i’m at the train station

**Blake Belladonna**

So am I

...You’re on the wrong side of the tracks.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh shit

ok

i still don’t see youuu

why are there so many people on this platform

**Blake Belladonna**

Purple dress

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy

fucking

shit

**Blake Belladonna**

After seeing your outfit, I figured I should step it up

**Yang Xiao Long**

um

one question

how am i supposed to focus on the show when you look this beautiful?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang, I'm already going out with you. You don't have to keep flirting with me :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

do u want me to stop? ;)

**Blake Belladonna**

Don't you dare

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would you cast a RWBY Greek Gods AU??? Hit me with your headcanons
> 
> Also, I graduated from yoga teacher training!! So now I have all the time in the world to work on my many many writing projects hehe


	9. i have a mild peanut allergy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss gets some advice from an unexpected source while Yang tries to give Ruby a pep talk. Meanwhile, Blake dissects her feelings with some help from Sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is with a heavy heart that i must inform you: due to recent posts, my published works count is no longer 69. rip
> 
> i've been listening to call me maybe for 4 and a half hours, sounds no longer feel real, and no i cannot explain

**[Saturday 1:09 a.m.]**

**[RWBY Apartment Chat (4 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

OUR SMOOTHIE MACHINE FUCKING EXPLODED

**buby**

That noise was TERRIFYING D:

**Blake Belladonna**

Why are you making a smoothie at 1 am

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh, they’re delicious

and ruby asked me to make her one

so i had no choice

**buby**

Mwahaha, no one can say no to the silver puppy dog eyes!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s ur superpower

weiss i know you’re reading these

keeping read receipts on for dramatic effect has finally bitten you in the ass

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**[Yang Xiao Long added Weiss Schnee.]**

**buby**

Welcome back Weiss!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss please

i need to borrow your smoothie machine

it’s an emergency

**Weiss Schnee**

Firstly, it’s called a BLENDER.

Secondly, you may not borrow it. Ever.

Thirdly and finally, destroying a household appliance because of what I’m sure was your own utter foolishness is NOT an emergency, and I most certainly don’t want your grubby little hands on our BLENDER just so you can break it as well.

**Yang Xiao Long**

...pretty sure it’s a smoothie machine

**Blake Belladonna**

Why did it explode

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t encourage this.

**buby**

I don’t know!!! What kind of blender can’t handle frozen fruit??

**Yang Xiao Long**

pathetic

to be fair

i definitely put in so much frozen fruit

and absolutely forgot to add water

**buby**

Yang......that’s not how it works :c

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m not dealing with this right now.

Actually, I’m not dealing with this ever. Deal with your problems like an adult.

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

did someone put frozen fruit down the back of her shirt or something

why is she so mad

**buby**

She seemed fine at lunch yesterday!

**Yang Xiao Long**

you guys had lunch?

**Blake Belladonna**

Did it go well?

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’d you guys talk about?

**Blake Belladonna**

Will you be having lunch again

**buby**

Uh

Yes, yes, stuff, and probably?

**Yang Xiao Long**

stuff

**Blake Belladonna**

Stuff

**Yang Xiao Long**

interesting

**Blake Belladonna**

Very.

**buby**

MMmmmmMMMM you guys are acting WEIRD

**Yang Xiao Long**

are we?

**Blake Belladonna**

I certainly didn’t notice anything strange

**Yang Xiao Long**

hehe i love it when you’re feisty

**buby**

I’m very, very happy that your date went well but can you please stop flirting in front of me

**Yang Xiao Long**

sis, that was like a .2 out of 10

do u wanna see pictures from tonight

**buby**

Yes I do!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

[TrainSelfie.jpg]

[Blake!!!.jpg]

blake looked amazing

i mean she probably still does

it’s not like her face looks different now than it did earlier

**Blake Belladonna**

Except for the lipstick mark that’s still on my cheek...

**buby**

STAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha sorry

the photo op was too good

[CheekKissSelfie.jpg]

i didn’t realize it would be so hard to get off

**buby**

NOPE NOPE NOPE

I CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING

**Yang Xiao Long**

😏😏😏

**buby**

GOODNIGHT SISTER AND BLAKE PUT ME BACK TOMORROW

**[Ruby Rose left the group.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

well hello there

**Blake Belladonna**

And then there were two

**Yang Xiao Long**

come here often? ;)

**Blake Belladonna**

Usually not this late, but I just got home from a date

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah? how was it?

**Blake Belladonna**

Good

Really good, in fact

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh really?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’d don’t think I’d mind going out with her again

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m sure she also wouldn’t mind

**Blake Belladonna**

Good to know

**Yang Xiao Long**

for real tho, i had such a fun time

thank you for explaining the entire show to me until i finally noticed the little translator screen

and then continuing to explain the entire show to me

the singing was so good though

sorry again about the lipstick haha

**Blake Belladonna**

No problem! Some people are put off by opera because of the language barrier, but I’m glad you enjoyed it

And makeup remover did the trick just fine. I just thought it would be fun to mess with your sister a little

**Yang Xiao Long**

god you really are great

omg do u think weiss is being a dick bc she’s jealous

**Blake Belladonna**

Of...us?

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s going through her whole crisis and i’m going on dates with her beautiful brilliant roommate

you’ve been here all of like, a month, and you’re already hanging out with the coolest girl on campus

**Blake Belladonna**

Pyrrha? :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby, obviously

i bet something weird happened at lunch and she didn’t even notice

my sister is an adorable fool

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you think we should talk to them this time? You know them better than I do

**Yang Xiao Long**

waiting for weiss to open up is like throwing snowballs at a mountain after a blizzard

nothing......nothing......nothing.........AVALANCHE

and then everybody dies ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Blake Belladonna**

In that case, I’ll keep giving her space.

**Yang Xiao Long**

honestly i’m about ready to lock them both in a closet until they figure their shit out

but instead i will very stealthily try to ask ruby what happened

**Blake Belladonna**

“Stealth” isn’t exactly your forte.

But you’ll do great! :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

i can’t even pretend to be offended

you’re 100% correct

sounds like we got a plan, partner

**Blake Belladonna**

I read that in a cowboy voice

**Yang Xiao Long**

absolutely right, little lady

[CowboyTippingHat.jpg]

***

**[Saturday 1:18 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Yang and Blake are flirting in the group chat

**Weiss Schnee**

Ugh. They’re ridiculous.

**Ruby Rose**

I’m really happy for them! But yes

**Weiss Schnee**

My threshold for terrible dirty jokes is even lower than usual right now.

**Ruby Rose**

Are you okay??

I know you said you had some stuff happening but you didn’t bring it up at lunch

And I didn’t want to bug you or anything :o

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s just complicated.

**Ruby Rose**

Oh, okay

Well if you wanna talk I’m here!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Goodnight, Ruby.

**Ruby Rose**

Night

***

**[Saturday 1:26 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

are we on for brunch tmrw

**Ruby Rose**

Yes of course!!!

Unless you’re planning to interrogate me about Weiss

Because there is nothing going on

**Yang Xiao Long**

i would never

what happened with weiss

**Ruby Rose**

YANG

**Yang Xiao Long**

I’M WORRIED

a girl can only take so much tension in the group chat

**Ruby Rose**

There’s really nothing!! T_T

I know she’s upset but she won’t talk to me about it so I really don’t think she’s interested

It’s not like I could help her anyway

She’s so pretty and smart and chill and put together, and I officially changed my second major for the fourth time last week...

**Yang Xiao Long**

put together?

she’s a disaster, ruby

wait what’s your new major?

**Ruby Rose**

Literature!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

super cool

what did you guys talk about at lunch

**Ruby Rose**

Nothing!!! I just told her about our Beowulf field trip

While we were at the museum Penny told me the funniest story ever

I don’t think she really meant it as a joke but the way she was telling it was just so funny

Maybe that’s why Weiss wasn’t really laughing, I probably wasn’t telling it well :/

Oooh and Penny and I are working on a project together for Engineering 102!

**Yang Xiao Long**

hang on

you had lunch with the girl you’re crushing on

and spent the entire time

talking about A DIFFERENT GIRL

**Ruby Rose**

...

**Yang Xiao Long**

i raised u better than this

**Ruby Rose**

>_____>

***

**[Saturday 9:43 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Seeing as you’re the only person I know in a relatively stable relationship, I need some advice.

**Nora Valkyrie**

What knowledge do you seek 🔮🔮🔮

**Weiss Schnee**

How do you tell someone you’re...interested in them?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Well you’ve gotta be a LITTLE LESS VAGUE THAN THAT

WHO IS IT

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s irrelevant.

**Nora Valkyrie**

On what PLANET

Obviously it matters

I wouldn’t have just marched up to Ren one day and screamed I LOVE YOU in his face

he would have nodded once and very promptly walked away

**Weiss Schnee**

So what did you do?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I jumped his bones at every single party

And then one time I asked him out for pizza

Of course we already had YEARS of history starting with the time we got married in kindergarten

The bone-jumping was super-duper consensual, bi the way

Inevitability is a beautiful, horny thing

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m sure.

**Nora Valkyrie**

SO

WHOMST

Is it Pyrrha

Is it Yang

Is it JAUNE

**Weiss Schnee**

No

Absolutely not

And I’ve never been more disgusted.

Ugh, I don’t even know why I bothered asking you. I knew you wouldn’t take this seriously.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Hey

*Serious voice*

It’s pretty obvious that you’re going through something right now, but freezing people out isn’t going to make your problems just POOF away

Let your friends be there for you!

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 10:02am]_

***

**[Saturday 12:34 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

HOW WAS IT HOW WAS IT

**Blake Belladonna**

What happened to “Im gonna text you first thing in the morning”

**Sun Wukong**

I am XD

**Blake Belladonna**

You missed morning

Entirely

But the date was good

**Sun Wukong**

Come on you gotta give me more than that

Are you gonna see her again????

**Blake Belladonna**

She wants to go out again

**Sun Wukong**

Do you??

Man its literally impossible to read you over text

Your like a robot

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re*

:P

**Sun Wukong**

Shh nerd, grammar me later

As your wingman I demand details

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re not my wingman

**Sun Wukong**

:’0(

Okay then how we feelin

Throw out some adjectives

**Blake Belladonna**

She’s really great, Sun

I’m worried

**Sun Wukong**

Ok

Those two sentence make no sense next to each other

Youre worried that shes too great?

News flash literally no one is out of your league

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s not like that.

You wouldn’t understand

**Sun Wukong**

Try me.

**Blake Belladonna**

Things can start off all shiny and good

Flattery, attention, romance

Then after a while it all starts to change. The glitter is gone, and you try to believe that it’s just the way things settle, and six months later a name popping up on your phone still gives you butterflies but they feel more like vultures tearing you apart from the inside and you don’t know when you started seeing the world in shades of black and white and red

**Sun Wukong**

Alright

Okay

Lets take a deep breath

And then about twelve more deep breaths

You alright?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah

Sorry

**Sun Wukong**

No need to apologize :^)

Can I ask something?

**Blake Belladonna**

Can I stop you?

**Sun Wukong**

I mean this as an honest question because I love you

Is there anything about her that reminds you of him?

**Blake Belladonna**

No.

Well

You remember how he was at parties?

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah

That jackass knew how to command a crowd

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang’s kind of like that, always the brightest spot in the room

**Sun Wukong**

Gay

**Blake Belladonna**

Shut up >_>

At her sister’s party, she made a point of having a conversation with everyone who came in, even if she had no idea who they were

And last night she made friends with both of our cab drivers

It’s that same kind of magnetism

Draws people in

**Sun Wukong**

Anything else?

**Blake Belladonna**

She cares so much about the things she loves

Like her sister and her friends, she would do anything for them

He was like that with Omega Phi

**Sun Wukong**

Okay

Here are my thoughts

**Blake Belladonna**

Please share

**Sun Wukong**

Are you being sarcastic again?

**Blake Belladonna**

No! Promise.

I could use an outside perspective

**Sun Wukong**

Theres a difference between commanding all the attention in a room

And making said room a place people actually want to hang out

Know what I mean?

**Blake Belladonna**

...Do you know what you mean?

Elaborate please

**Sun Wukong**

Like

Caring about people is pretty cool

But only caring about how people can be useful to you

Thats not so cool

Passionate and obsessive are sorta two sides of the same coin, but they’re not the same

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s...very observant.

**Sun Wukong**

:0)

Plus its not like you have to dive headfirst into a relationship with this girl

Youre allowed to have fun c;

You like her right?

**Blake Belladonna**

A lot

**Sun Wukong**

That can be kinda scary

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah

I guess it couldn’t hurt to see her again.

**Sun Wukong**

Theres that trademark Belladonna enthusiasm XD

***

**[Sunday 2:26 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I owe you an apology.

**Yang Xiao Long**

accepted

**Weiss Schnee**

I haven’t even apologized yet.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i accept that you owe me an apology

**Weiss Schnee**

Please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you must know i will

kidding

what’s up

**Weiss Schnee**

I talked with Nora. She pointed out that I’ve been rather brusque lately.

**Yang Xiao Long**

and

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m sorry.

**Yang Xiao Long**

and

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re a good friend?

**Yang Xiao Long**

and

**Weiss Schnee**

And what?? I’m not letting you borrow our blender.

**Yang Xiao Long**

just wanted to see how long u would keep going

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re insufferable.

***

**[Sunday 3:37 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely forthcoming with you. It has come to my attention that I’ve been acting rather distant lately. You’ve been nothing but kind and patient, and I think I owe you an apology along with the truth. In the last few weeks, I’ve realized some things, and the most pertinent herein relates to my feelings for you. Seeing as I consider you a friend (and I truly do hope you share that platonic sentiment), I understand if you have no desire to pursue any sort of relationship beyond said friendship.

How’s that?

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHAT am I READING

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m drafting a message to send to the person I’m interested in.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oof alrighty here we go

Strap on

**Weiss Schnee**

EXCUSE ME??

**Nora Valkyrie**

STRAP IN**

Okay, FIRST of all

Don’t kick off a dramatic love confession with “I’m afraid”

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s an appropriate topic sentence

**Nora Valkyrie**

Weiss...

This isn’t an essay

You’re not getting graded, you don’t need to cite evidence in MLA format

Just be honest

**Weiss Schnee**

Well, I AM afraid.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Okay be honest about everything except that

CONFIDENCE

Loving that vulnerability though let’s hang onto that

Nextly, that whole last part is like a huge get out of jail free card

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**Nora Valkyrie**

You’re giving them a reason not to date you!!!! Right there!!!

have a little faith, Weissy

**Weiss Schnee**

Do NOT call me that.

**Nora Valkyrie**

you’re right it felt wrong as soon as I said it

Thirdfully, are you SERIOUSLY DOING THIS OVER TEXT

**Weiss Schnee**

Obviously!

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’m gonna have to gently, but firmly, put my foot down

**Weiss Schnee**

Fine, I’ll print it out and give it to her.

**Nora Valkyrie**

HER

And no don’t do that

IS IT BLAKE

ooooh a love triangle........

Oh my god Weiss

Is it ME

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t flatter yourself.

**Nora Valkyrie**

😉

wait

WAIT

how did i not see it before

you’re in love with COCO

**Weiss Schnee**

Everyone’s in love with Coco.

...It’s Ruby.

**Nora Valkyrie**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WEISS

THAT IS SO CUTE!!!!!!

Alright we are MAKING THIS HAPPEN

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh, no.

**Nora Valkyrie**

STEP 1: PUT ON YOUR HOTTEST OUTFIT AND LOOSE CURL THAT FABULOUS PONYTAIL

STEP 2: MARCH RIGHT UP TO HER AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL

STEP 3: MAKE OUT WITH HER FACE

CONSENSUALLY

**Weiss Schnee**

That is NOT A PLAN.

**Nora Valkyrie**

It really is that easy, sweetie

look at Blake and Yang

*fireworks*

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s all so much easier to talk in writing.

I haven’t told anyone in person yet.

**Nora Valkyrie**

AHA

so THATS what this is about

Always remember: you don’t have to rush yourself

Maybe a text is your “that sex was great, do you want to go get pizza?”

**Weiss Schnee**

Is...is that how your first date happened?

**Nora Valkyrie**

It’s not NOT how it happened :D

When you feel ready you could start with Pyrrha

She’s just about the least judgy person of all TIME

and she adores you

**Weiss Schnee**

Really?

She was the first girl I ever had a crush on.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oh I know

We ALL knew

why do you think I guessed her first

**Weiss Schnee**

This is completely mortifying...

**Nora Valkyrie**

And that’s okay!!! 💖💖💖

***

**[Sunday 7:11 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

7:11 make a wish

**Blake Belladonna**

Isn’t that 11:11?

**Yang Xiao Long**

not if ur wish is dollar doughnuts and slushies

**Blake Belladonna**

Do they still have doughnuts this late?

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk wanna go find out?

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you asking me on a date to 7-11?

**Yang Xiao Long**

no i have something way better in mind for date #2

consider this a casual evening excursion

**Blake Belladonna**

As tempting as stale doughnuts sound, I’ll have to pass. I’m at Sun’s MMK.

**Yang Xiao Long**

hwat

**Blake Belladonna**

Monday Morning Kickoff?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh yeah

my RA did like one of those my entire freshman year

and then i moved off campus haha

wait is sun an RA??

**Blake Belladonna**

A terrifying thought, I know

**Yang Xiao Long**

initially

but i guess i can see it

approachable and friendly are good things for an RA to be

for his MMKs does he just hotbox his floor

**Blake Belladonna**

He wants to change it up each Sunday.

But yes, that was the first week’s activity

**Yang Xiao Long**

incredible

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you want to come over?

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh ya

what about the MMK?

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s over at 8

We could watch some of that disastrous baking show

**Yang Xiao Long**

NAILED IT

yeah see you then :)

**Blake Belladonna**

Cool

**Yang Xiao Long**

cool

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you want any food? Sun ordered way too much

**Yang Xiao Long**

i will not say no

**Blake Belladonna**

Fried rice or Pad Thai?

**Yang Xiao Long**

surprise me ;)

**Blake Belladonna**

I’d imagine you’re not easily surprised

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s true

one time when ruby was 4 she tried to scare me

put a sheet over her head and ran into my room at like 2 in the morning

and like all the best ghosts she tripped and fell flat on her face

the sound it made was so damn funny i woke up in actual tears

she tried to leave cuz she was super embarrassed

but as soon as she got up she tripped AGAIN

blake i was crying

and that’s the closest anyone’s ever gotten to really surprising me

**Blake Belladonna**

I can’t shake the feeling that Ruby would still try that

**Yang Xiao Long**

she does

every year

on the anniversary

somehow she thinks i won’t expect it???

**Blake Belladonna**

I got you fried rice

**Yang Xiao Long**

aww you ruined the surprise :(

**Blake Belladonna**

I have a mild peanut allergy

**Yang Xiao Long**

good to know

random

but good to know

**Blake Belladonna**

I figured it would be better to keep you away from peanuts

Since I plan on kissing you tonight

**Yang Xiao Long**

as it turns out you did not ruin the surprise

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a JOB OFFER yesterday so of course i had to celebrate by working on my favorite fic <3
> 
> i'm somnambule-plus on tumblr, which i apparently keep forgetting to say on here lol


	10. my gluten free what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora adopts some new paraphernalia (into her already impressive collection) and tries to convince a rather distracted Yang to join her for a test run. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Sun encourages Blake to be bold, and Weiss finally opens the closet door.
> 
> (This chapter contains at least 3 emotions, be warned)

**[Thursday 9:12 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

May I present:

[BubblegumPinkBong.jpg]

**Yang Xiao Long**

why is it twice the size of your head

**Nora Valkyrie**

Because I believe in myself

And WE are trying her out in exactly 23 hours and 18 minutes

17 minutes!

**Yang Xiao Long**

please tell her she’s beautifully intimidating

but i’m busy tomorrow

**Nora Valkyrie**

Uuuuuuuugh

People in relationships are BORING

**Yang Xiao Long**

1\. i’m not *in a relationship*

2\. you are in a relationship

**Nora Valkyrie**

Bold of you to assume I’m a people

**Yang Xiao Long**

3\. my alibi is not blake related

**Nora Valkyrie**

Well you’re definitely not dating someone else

.........Right?!?!

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t be a dick

it’s just october 9th tomorrow

**Nora Valkyrie**

And I am 21 years old. We can all do math here

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora ur 22

**Nora Valkyrie**

FUCK

I HAVE TO UPDATE MY TINDER PROFILE

**Yang Xiao Long**

why do you have a tinder profile?

are *you* dating someone else????

**Nora Valkyrie**

Considering I had to find about your date with Ms. Belladonna from WEISS, I owe you no explanation

BUT

Seeing the weird pickup lines people try is TOO MUCH FUN

Crossfaded catfishing is one of me and Ren’s favorite pastimes

**Yang Xiao Long**

of course it is

**Nora Valkyrie**

We once had a six hour long conversation with a guy who owned a goat farm

He sent us pictures of his goats and told us all their favorite foods

But REALLY he was also high and just googling pictures of goats to send us

And that’s when Ren and I decided to adopt a goat someday

**Yang Xiao Long**

beautiful

**Nora Valkyrie**

SPEAKING OF WEED

You’re coming over Friday night to meet Magnhild great see you then!

**Yang Xiao Long**

whomst

**Nora Valkyrie**

I literally just sent you a picture please try to keep up

**Yang Xiao Long**

you named her already?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I believe in letting my children pick their own names

Gertrude, Octavia, Red Sonja, The Morrigan, Titania, Phyllis, Ebenezer Scrooge, Tails “Miles” Prower

They tell me when they’re ready

And Magnhild is very precocious

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m actually for real busy friday

**Nora Valkyrie**

Well you’ve made the children cry

***

**[Thursday 9:18 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**[Nora Valkyrie set Yang Xiao Long’s nickname to The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong.]**

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

u bastard

**Nora Valkyrie**

THE QUEEN HEREBY REVOKES YOUR TITLE

**Lie Ren**

what’s going on?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yang betrayed us Ren

She’s banned from the castle

**Jaune Arc**

Do I want to know what’s going on?

This sounds intense

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

i promise it’s not

**Nora Valkyrie**

SHE SCORNED OUR DAUGHTER

SHE’S A TRAITOR TO THE KINGDOM

OFF WITH HER HEAD

**Lie Ren**

sorry, yang. rules are rules

**Ruby Rose**

How come Yang gets a nickname?? D:

I want one tooooo

**Jaune Arc**

“Little Red?”

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s ridiculous.

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

ur right

if anyone is little

it’s u weiss

**Jaune Arc**

OHHHH

**Weiss Schnee**

Jaune, can I help you with something?

**Jaune Arc**

Nothing. Nothing at all

Let’s be honest, I’m beyond help

**Weiss Schnee**

Finally, something we can agree on.

**[Nora Valkyrie set Weiss Schnee’s nickname to ICE PRONCESS.]**

**ICE PRONCESS**

Excuse me??

**Nora Valkyrie**

I typed princess wrong and I snort-laughed so loud that it had to stay

**[Yang Xiao Long set Weiss Schnee’s nickname to ICE PORNCESS.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

FJDKLSAFJDKL;SA YANG YOU ARE BACK IN

**[Weiss Schnee left the group.]**

**[Nora Valkyrie added Weiss Schnee to the group.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Someday you’re gonna make a dramatic exit and no one’s going to re-add you

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh no, what a tragedy. How would I ever survive?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I would add you back, Weiss! :)

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you, Pyrrha! :)

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

do i even have to comment on this dynamic anymore

**Weiss Schnee**

At least my name’s back to normal.

**Lie Ren**

you know you can change your own nickname

**[Jaune Arc set his own nickname to Squire Arc.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Points for staying on theme

.2 deduction for lack of creativity

**Squire Arc**

Apologies your highness :/

**[Lie Ren changed Jaune Arc’s name to Squarc.]**

**Squarc**

...Excuse me

**Nora Valkyrie**

SQUARC

**Ruby Rose**

Normal names are boring!!!!!

**[Yang Xiao Long set Ruby Rose’s nickname to !!!!!.]**

**!!!!!**

YES!!!!!!!!!!

**[Ruby Rose set Nora Valkyrie’s nickname to Queen Regnant.]**

**[Ruby Rose set Lie Ren’s nickname to King Consort.]**

**Queen Regnant**

Hello ~*~Consort~*~ 😏

**King Consort**

hello

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

what is queen regnant

is that like king princess

**!!!!!**

It means she’s the current queen

And Ren shares her rank because they’re together :o!

**Queen Regnant**

Because he’s my CONSORT 😏😏😏

**King Consort**

🌚

**Blake Belladonna**

What is this

Who are these people

**!!!!!**

Scroll up in the chat!!

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang Xiao Bong

Wow

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

i can practically see ur sarcastic face

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s because you’re sitting across from me in the library

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

ur so smart

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re very distracting

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

i will not apologize

**Weiss Schnee**

As endearing as your public display of affection is, it’s not.

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

green clashes with ur complexion

**Weiss Schnee**

Is that meant as an insult?

Believe me, I know winter palettes suit me best.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I think she’s suggesting that you’re jealous...

**[Nora Valkyrie set Pyrrha Nikos’ nickname to The Royal Vizier.]**

**Queen Regnant**

The royal vizier does not speak often

But when she does

Listen well

For she is the wisest of us

She will unite the kingdoms and bring peace to our lands

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

u guys are already hanging out w magnhild aren’t u

**King Consort**

🌚🌚🌚

***

**[Friday 11:25 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

AY

Lunch plans??

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m not sitting in the big room

**Sun Wukong**

Dont worry I wasnt gonna ask :-X

**Blake Belladonna**

In that case I’m all yours

**Sun Wukong**

Or

Hear me out

You could bring ur gf

**Blake Belladonna**

My gluten free what?

**Sun Wukong**

Your GIRLFRIEND!

**Blake Belladonna**

She’s not my girlfriend.

We've been on one date.

**Sun Wukong**

Buuuuut you knew who I was talkin about

Come on I want to meet her!

I mean I met her when I crashed that party but I wanna meet her for real lol

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s kind of last minute. She probably has plans already

**Sun Wukong**

Blaaaaake

Why dont you wanna invite her 🤔

**Blake Belladonna**

I don’t not want to invite her

**Sun Wukong**

Double negative makes a positive so u do wanna

Thats math

**Blake Belladonna**

Math?

Alright, if you can tell me what an integral is, I’ll text her

**Sun Wukong**

INTEGRAL means something is important

As in

Me meeting your gf is an INTEGRAL part of my day today

Yeah

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re not going to let this go, are you

**Sun Wukong**

B^)

***

**[Friday 11:37 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

I have a request

**Yang Xiao Long**

my answer is yes

**Blake Belladonna**

While I appreciate the blind enthusiasm, you might want to hear the question first

Sun wants to have lunch with you

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m flattered

but he’s not really my type

are you his wingwoman now? :P

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ll let him know you’re busy.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll come

to lunch

you’ll be there too right

**Blake Belladonna**

As if I would leave the two of you alone. The cafeteria would be on fire in five minutes.

**Yang Xiao Long**

nah

3, tops 😛

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you sure you don’t mind having lunch with him?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i could use the distraction

plus i get to see you so

win-win

**Blake Belladonna**

12:00?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll be there :)

***

**[Friday 11:48 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I need to talk to you.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Certainly! Would you like to get dinner this evening?

**Weiss Schnee**

Actually, are you busy right now?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m on the bus back from a crew meet.

What’s going on? Are you alright?

**Weiss Schnee**

Why does everybody keep asking me that?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Because we’re your friends, Weiss. :)

**Weiss Schnee**

Well...thank you.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Of course.

Truly, are you okay?

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m fine. Relatively speaking.

Not in any sort of mortal danger.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

If you'd like to call me, you're welcome to!

**Weiss Schnee**

I appreciate the offer, but I think this may actually be easier over text.

You see, I’ve begun to consider that perhaps my own personal romantic inclinations veer in a mildly Sapphic direction

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m not sure I follow.

**Weiss Schnee**

I like girls?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh!

That’s wonderful :)

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re the first person I’ve told. On purpose, at least. Yang and Nora came to their own conclusions. 

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m genuinely touched that you’re trusting me, Weiss. It can be quite frightening to reach out.

And I know your family is rather conservative in their views. 

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m not telling them.

...Maybe Winter. But not until I’ve figured everything out for myself.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m not sure any of us ever figure everything out, honestly. We’re all just doing the best we can. ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

Ugh. I just heard Yang’s voice in my head say “more like doing the breast we can”

**Pyrrha Nikos**

How are you feeling?

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m furious. How dare her obnoxious penchant for defensive puns wriggle its way into my brain?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Ha ha! I meant about coming out.

It can be overwhelming, so I just wanted to check in.

**Weiss Schnee**

You know, you’re awfully insightful about all this.

It would be nice if more straight people were so empathetic.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

...You know I’m pansexual, right?

**Weiss Schnee**

WHAT?!

I mean, that’s wonderful and thank you for trusting me

**Pyrrha Nikos**

:)

I’m very open about it. I’m surprised you didn’t know!

**Weiss Schnee**

The irritating little Yang in my head is very amused by all this.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Why’s that?

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh. I had a bit of a crush on you.

Don’t worry. I’ve moved on.

I didn’t mean for that to sound so rude

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Not at all! 

I'm quite flattered, by the way.

Though you may want to be a little more tactful when wooing your new crush. ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

I will most certainly not be “wooing” anyone.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Well, not with that attitude.

**Weiss Schnee**

If you weren’t stuck on a bus, I would swear that Yang stole your phone somehow

***

**[Friday 1:09 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Hey babe

**Blake Belladonna**

I think you meant to send this to someone else

And if so, you definitely have some explaining to do.

**Sun Wukong**

Oh no I meant to text you

Babe

**Blake Belladonna**

???

What are you doing

**Sun Wukong**

Didnt you hear it

During lunch

Yang said it like three times

Ive never seen a heart eyes emoji in person before

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun?

**Sun Wukong**

Yes babe????

**Blake Belladonna**

[Glare-adonna.jpg]

**Sun Wukong**

Damn ok sorry

It was for real super cute tho

**Blake Belladonna**

First of all, she only said it once.

**Sun Wukong**

SO YOU DID HEAR IT

**Blake Belladonna**

Obviously I heard

She talks like that to a lot of people.

**Sun Wukong**

Hmmmmmmm

**Blake Belladonna**

What

**Sun Wukong**

HMMMMMMMMMM

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m not responding until you send me a genuine thought worth replying to

**Sun Wukong**

Ok

Then

Blake

My dear friend

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh my gods stop

**Sun Wukong**

I think you are avoiding something

**Blake Belladonna**

Avoiding throwing my phone against the wall? Correct!

Believe me, the self-restraint is killing me

**Sun Wukong**

Seriously dude

Why are you running away from this?

Shes cool

Youre cool

Both of you are super hot

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s inappropriate

**Sun Wukong**

Im ace not blind

**Blake Belladonna**

The sentiment stands

**Sun Wukong**

Your personalities are super hot? <:^)

**Blake Belladonna**

I hope that emoticon is meant to be wearing a dunce cap because that’s how you’re acting

**Sun Wukong**

You like hanging out w her right?

**Blake Belladonna**

Of course

**Sun Wukong**

And you want to keeping spending time with her

**Blake Belladonna**

Ideally.

**Sun Wukong**

So why are we on the fence here

Is there something super wrong with her?

Like does her breath smell like cheese in the morning

**Blake Belladonna**

I wouldn’t know.

**Sun Wukong**

Do u wanna find out

[EyebrowWaggle.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

...

Yes

**Sun Wukong**

Let yourself be happy Blake

You deserve it <3

***

**[Friday 1:57 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Hey!

**Yang Xiao Long**

an exclamation point

who are u and what have u done with blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Believe it or not that's the second one I've used today

Wildly different contexts though

Maybe I’m just happy it’s Friday

**Yang Xiao Long**

tgif amirite

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you have anything going on tomorrow morning?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i do not

**Blake Belladonna**

I was hoping you’d say that.

Come over tonight?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

OH

listen i’d really like to

but i can’t

**Blake Belladonna**

No problem.

I understand

***

**[Friday 4:26 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

nerds

**Yang Xiao Long**

uncalled for

**Nora Valkyrie**

I say it with affection and you know that

campus party tonight?!

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

About to run to soccer, but yes!

I could use a night out ^^

**Nora Valkyrie**

PYRRHA

NEW EMOTICON

WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Ruby! ^^

**Nora Valkyrie**

Ok let’s not get too crazy

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora i told u

i can’t hang out tonight

**Nora Valkyrie**

come after ur ~mysterious plans~!!!

The party will still be going I’m SURE

what could you possibly have going on until midnight

**Yang Xiao Long**

i was gonna catch up on GBBO

eat some pizza

also it’s the anniversary of my mom’s death

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Oh, Yang :(

**Nora Valkyrie**

Ah shit

I completely forgot. I’m so so sorry

Do you need anything???? 

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Do you want to do something just the three of us?

And Ruby!

We could come over and watch the show with you :)

**Nora Valkyrie**

I will humbly sponsor the pizza

**Yang Xiao Long**

i really don’t feel like it guys

ruby’s fine on her own, she’s going out

**Nora Valkyrie**

Everyone grieves in their own way

If you do feel like company, I’ll keep my phone on super loud at the party

**Yang Xiao Long**

thanks nora

pyrrha aren’t u late for soccer

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Some things are more important. <3

**Nora Valkyrie**

💖💖💖

***

**[Friday 5:11 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey mom

i need some advice

it sounds kinda stupid 

some people want me to go out with them tonight and it feels...i don’t know, wrong?

today is the worst day

always

i would hang out with ruby but she seems fine

and i don’t want to kill her good mood

we had breakfast together and talked about that time you helped us paint the wagon

remember dad told us not to use “dollar store halloween colors”

he was kind of right i guess, bright orange and dark red really don’t go together

still...that wagon was awesome

i just

don’t get how ruby can be so

idk, calm? tranquil?

how come i still miss you so much?

i know she does too, that's not what i meant

like i almost started crying in class

it was weird

and i think i messed things up with blake?

she asked me to come over tonight

sorry that’s probably too much information

but like

it feels wrong to be happy today

and i can't help it around her

if you were reading this you’d probably tell me i’m being too hard on myself

you’d tell me that i shouldn’t lock myself in my room and eat an entire pizza

ok you’d say that on a normal day too

but mostly today

yeah

can you just tell me it’s all gonna be ok?

***

**[Friday 8:15 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey

**Blake Belladonna**

Hi

**Yang Xiao Long**

so uh

**Blake Belladonna**

?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok

earlier was a little

awkward

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s okay. I was kind of forward

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i love forward

i owe you an explanation

so today’s the day my mom died

it was like, a really long time ago, but it still gets to me, you know?

ruby’s ok about it, but i usually just stay home

i tried going out my freshman year and i just felt shitty all night

so i don't usually do stuff

does that make sense?

sorry i know this is a lot

**Blake Belladonna**

You don’t have to apologize for that. At all.

Now I understand why you said something about lunch being a distraction earlier

I appreciate you telling me. I’m sure it’s not an easy thing to talk about

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah haha

**Blake Belladonna**

What was your favorite thing about your mom?

**Yang Xiao Long**

she had this big long coat, white with red lining on the inside

whenever it was windy it would kind of flap like a cape

she was totally a superhero

**Blake Belladonna**

Definitely.

**Yang Xiao Long**

believe it or not ruby was really shy when she was little

**Blake Belladonna**

Really? No way.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah lol

when she got nervous she would hide in my mom’s coat

**Blake Belladonna**

Aww

That’s quite a cute image

**Yang Xiao Long**

for sure

so when ruby started kindergarten

she was super nervous to go to school, like she grabbed my dad's leg and refused to let go

my mom found this bright red shirt that matched the coat's lining

and said that the shirt would give ruby super braveness powers

ruby came home from her first full day and very proudly proclaimed that she’d made five best friends

one of which...was weiss

so basically it’s my mom’s fault we’re stuck w the ice queen

**Blake Belladonna**

Wow

**Yang Xiao Long**

jk i'd kill for weiss schnee

i know how to ruin a beautiful story, right

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes blake

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s okay to miss your mom still

And it’s okay not to be Ruby's Big Sister today. You have to be there for yourself first

**Yang Xiao Long**

how do u do that

**Blake Belldonna**

Do what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

like, read my soul

fuck

are you vegetarian?

**Blake Belladonna**

No...?

**Yang Xiao Long**

[DominosDeliveryTracker.jpg]

dinesh will be bringing a meat lover’s pizza to my apartment in approximately 13 minutes

if u still want to hang out

no pressure

i know i was a dick earlier

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you sure?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah i’m pretty sure i was a dick earlier

**Blake Belladonna**

No, are you sure you don’t mind sharing your food?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah :)

is it cool if i invite pyrrha and nora too?

**Blake Belladonna**

Of course

Though you might need to order an extra pizza if Nora's coming.

**Yang Xiao Long**

at least

**Blake Belladonna**

I'm glad you texted me

This is probably cheesier than that pizza, but I really want to hug you right now

**Yang Xiao Long**

cool

bc i could definitely use one

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gays, hope u like dumbass jokes & surprise feelings!
> 
> this chapter took a second, partly because i was at a wedding and starting a job and also partly because it's a little, idk, deep? writing weiss' moment with pyrrha was surprisingly challenging. coming out can be a difficult process, and i can only imagine how loud her heart was beating during that scene. real talk, whether you're out or not, i love you and i support you.
> 
> <3


	11. i think very highly of your pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Friday night campus party leads to a number of surprising relationship developments. Meanwhile, Yang and Blake figure out what exactly is going on between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains descriptions of alcohol and drug use. just a heads up <3

**[Friday 10:30 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

let me know when u guys get home safe after the party

have fun!

**Nora Valkyrie**

You too 😏😏

Tell your girlfriend she has good taste in serial killer podcasts

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yeah yeah she’s “not your girlfriend”

Tell your Blake she has good taste in serial killer podcasts

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Aw :)

Have a wonderful rest of your night, Yang. It was nice to see you smiling. 

**Yang Xiao Long**

make sure nora doesn’t end up in a tree again

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I’m not sure I can make that promise, but I’ll do my best

**Nora Valkyrie**

And for the first time in her flawless life

She will FAIL

***

**[Friday 10:36 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Queen Regnant**

WHO’S COMIN OUT

**Weiss Schnee**

I am.

**The Royal Vizier**

Hooray! Come meet up with us!

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh, you meant to the party?

No, thank you.

But I would like to inform everyone that I am queer.

**King Consort**

awesome :)

**Squarc**

We support you, Weiss!

**Weiss Schnee**

I appreciate it, Jane.

Jaune*

My apologies.

**Squarc**

That’s okay

You could make it up to me by coming to the party :D

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t push it.

**[Nora Valkyrie set Weiss Schnee’s nickname to The Ambassador to Lesbos.]**

**The Ambassador to Lesbos**

I regret everything

**The Royal Vizier**

Nora, let’s not overwhelm her.

**Queen Regnant**

You’re RIGHT

As USUAL

**[Nora Valkyrie removed Weiss Schnee’s nickname.]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m not a lesbian. Well, I don’t know for sure.

...I can’t believe I’m talking to you people about this

**King Consort**

we people can be your wingfolk if you like

come out, dance with someone cute

see what happens

**Queen Regnant**

Ren, you soft horny bastard, I love you

**Lie Ren**

🌚

love you

**The Royal Vizier**

No pressure though, Weiss!

**!!!!!**

Hi I’m heree! I”m corning ^^^

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re...what?

Ruby, are you okay?

**!!!!!**

Iwas with mime friend Penny at an anime club pregnant!!?

Pregame*

**Weiss Schnee**

I have no idea what she’s saying. But I’m concerned.

**The Royal Vizier**

Ruby, are you alright to stay out?

**!!!!!**

Yams defnintley

**Squarc**

Maybe you should stick with water for a while.

**!!!!!**

Water is dliecouis

Jayden youremso smarttyyy!!!!’m

**The Royal Vizier**

I think I see her outside of Monty. That’s the building where the anime club room is, right?

**Squarc**

You’ve got her?

**The Royal Vizier**

Yes. She’s okay.

Very affectionate and not quite walking straight, but otherwise fine.

**!!!!!**

Immm right hereeeee ;yoou guys

Purrah is sooooo prettyyyuuu

**Squarc**

Can you get her some water?

**The Royal Vizier**

Done. :)

**Squarc**

I’ll bring an extra granola bar with me so she has something besides liquid calories in her

**Queen Regnant**

The mom friend energy in this room

CAN YOU FEEL IT

**Squarc**

Hey, I’m a dad friend

**King Consort**

guys can be mom friends too

**Squarc**

Oh, sure

But remember my sense of humor

**Queen Regnant**

He’s 100% right

**King Consort**

he is. i don’t know what i was thinking

**Weiss Schnee**

Are Yang and Blake meeting up with us?

**Queen Regnant**

Nah they fuckin’

**!!!!!**

EWWWWWWWWwqq

Im dontnwanna kno that!!!

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

hi we’re not

**Blake Belladonna**

Very chastely holding hands

**Queen Regnant**

Get this PORN out of MY GROUP CHAT

**Blake Belladonna**

[NahTheyFuckin’.jpg]

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

what was that your majesty

**Queen Regnant**

This is MUTINY

I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT

**Squarc**

Ruby’s not standing at all

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

is she ok????

**The Royal Vizier**

Yes. She just wanted to look at the stars. :)

**[Nora Valkyrie set Blake Belladonna’s nickname to Mrs. Xiao Bong.]**

**Mrs. Xiao Bong**

Um

Can we maybe set the nicknames back to normal? It’s getting hard to keep track of everyone

**King Consort**

actually seconded

it took me a minute to figure out who *i* was

**Queen Regnant**

That’s because you ate TWO of my gummies

**!!!!!**

Gummmmies! CAn I have one!!?

ARM THEY SHARKSSSSSS

**Weiss Schnee**

No.

I'm confident these aren’t the kind of gummies you’re thinking of.

**King Consort**

they are not

**Weiss Schnee**

I suppose I can stand to get out of my apartment.

**The Artist Formerly Known As Yang Xiao Bong**

get it weiss

nora change the nicknames back

**Queen Regnant**

And so my kingdom crumbles

***

**[Friday 11:04 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m home

**Yang Xiao Long**

awesome

thanks for coming over

**Blake Belladonna**

:)

**Yang Xiao Long**

sorry about nora

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s not your fault

**Yang Xiao Long**

i know i’m a lot

but nora can be A WHOLE LOT

u know what i mean

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s alright. I know she was just joking

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah

goodnight, blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Goodnight

💜

***

**[Friday 11:47 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u both alive

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

[NoraNostrilSelfie.jpg]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WE MISS YOUUUUUUUUU

**Yang Xiao Long**

now i know what to get u for ur birthday

nose hair trimmer

**Nora Valkyrie**

Nora, how did you get my phone?

This is Pyrrha, by the way!

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I SWAPPED EM

And took 306 pictures of myself and also other things

While you and Father Jaune were weaning Ruby like a newborn fawn

**Yang Xiao Long**

it turns out i hate everything about that sentence

**Nora Valkyrie**

May I have my phone back please?

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I can’t say no to you my queen

GASP

YOU WERE THE QUEEN THE WHOLE TIME

**Yang Xiao Long**

pretty sure goddess outranks queen

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

No wonder my reign collapsed

I was never meant to rule

ANARCHY NOWWWW

Alright, we’re back to normal. :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

how’s ruby??

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Looks like she’s sobered up a little. She’s no longer insisting on lying in the grass.

And she’s dancing with Weiss 😮

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHAT

HOW

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Well, they’re moving their bodies

**Nora Valkyrie**

I KNOW WHAT DANCING IS THANK YOU PYRRHA

HOW...DID YOU USE AN EMOJI

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Jaune showed me where the little keyboard is! 🦊🎱🍀💯

**Yang Xiao Long**

i hate to interrupt but

can i ask u guys something

**Nora Valkyrie**

No I don’t know what happened to the rest of your brie 👀👀

**Yang Xiao Long**

............

anyway

blake?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yes she loves u

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora can u not do that

she left like 10 mins after u pulled that nickname stunt

[IKnowNoraWasJoking.jpg]

this is what she sent me

she knows ur a fool but i don’t want her to think this is a joke to *me*

**Nora Valkyrie**

IS THAT A HEART

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Nora, I think Yang is right.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Okay okay I am actually sorry

I got a liiiiitle carried away and it was maybe perhaps potentially Too Much

But I honestly thought you guys were FULLY dating

You spent a whole two hours making heart eyes at each other

It’s not like I was completely imagining it

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Blake does seem quite fond of you, Yang. :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

i mean

she’s great and i like her a lot

idk if she’s looking for that, u know?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Looking for.....what

The brie?

I hope not

She won’t find it

**Yang Xiao Long**

stay out of my fridge

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’m in your fridge right now 

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

What are you worried about, Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s fine

go have fun at the party

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Nope!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yup. Nope!

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh

**Nora Valkyrie**

You’re priority #1 tonight

And ALWAYS 💖💖💖

So if you need to be gay about Blake, we are HERE TO LISTEN

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Maybe defining things with her would help.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah

**Nora Valkyrie**

Well what do YOU want

Besides pussaaaaaaaaaay

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha

how drunk is she

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Entirely sober, I’m afraid.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Am I WRONG

I dare you to tell me I’m wrong

**Yang Xiao Long**

i want to date her, like for real?

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHY IS THAT A QUESTION

**Yang Xiao Long**

because idk if she feels the same

it would suck if she doesn’t

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

So ask her!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Every great relationship starts with at least one incredibly awkward conversation

Except for mine, which started with incredibly dangerous sex on a roof

Talk to her!!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yeah, oh

Ya dumb lesbian

**Yang Xiao Long**

i feel like i should be offended

but ur right

**Nora Valkyrie**

About the pussaaaaaaaaay

I knew it

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha can u confiscate her phone

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

JOKE’S ON YOU PYRRHA WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND NOW I HAVE BOTH PHONES

DOUBLE NORA

I’M EVERYWHERE

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok i’m going to sleep

pls be safe <3

give pyrrha her phone back

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pfft

What’s she gonna do, ditch me and go home with someone?

***

**[Saturday 12:02 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

PYRRHA JUST DITCHED ME TO GO HOME WITH SOMEONE

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit who???

**Nora Valkyrie**

J A U N E

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’M SERIOUS

[JauneAndPyrrhaKissing.jpg]

**Yang Xiao Long**

what the fuck

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yes, the fuck

That’e EXACTLY what’s about to happen

**Yang Xiao Long**

good for her i guess

**Nora Valkyrie**

GOOD FOR HER

BAD FOR ME

JAUNE’S ROOM IS RIGHT NEXT TO REN’S

**Yang Xiao Long**

ahaha

**Nora Valkyrie**

THE MOM FRIEND AND THE DAD FRIEND ARE GETTING IT ON

I SPOKE THIS INTO EXISTENCE

I’ll just stay out all night

Problem solved

**Yang Xiao Long**

genius

**Nora Valkyrie**

I am, you’re welcome

**Yang Xiao Long**

why does it look like u took that pic from 8 feet above them

**Nora Valkyrie**

[TreeSelfie.jpg]

This is my home now

***

**[Saturday 12:59 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

I’m super happy you decided to come out tonight!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

I had fun.

Who knew parties could actually be enjoyable?

**Ruby Rose**

A bunch of people knew, that's why they all go to parties :P

But Imean coming out coming out

Ur really bereave!!!

Brave**

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh.

Thank you? I’m not really sure what to say to that.

**Ruby Rose**

You don’t have to say anything 

I’m happy for you!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

:)

***

**[Saturday 10:16 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

did everyone survive last night

**Ruby Rose**

Aw you killed the nicknames :(((

**Jaune Arc**

Does anyone have Pyrrha’s phone by any chance?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Why do you ask, Mr. Jaune?

**Lie Ren**

check under the door

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Thank you!

**Weiss Schnee**

Clearly all of this^ is going to require some explanation, but my head hurts too much to wonder right now.

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m alive

**Yang Xiao Long**

thank u blake for answering the question

**Nora Valkyrie**

I am actually not alive

**Lie Ren**

same. hence why i didn’t answer

**Nora Valkyrie**

Hence

**Lie Ren**

nora, do you want to come back in?

or are you comfortable in the hallway

**Nora Valkyrie**

Carry meeeeee

**Ruby Rose**

Who wants brunch???

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya open invite to crash me and ruby’s saturdate

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Shoot, I can’t. I’m late for rugby

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll stop by brunch. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to eat, but...

**Yang Xiao Long**

awww, weiss’ first hangover

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ve been hungover before, you dolt.

...But this is my far the most unpleasant instance.

**Ruby Rose**

How can your brain think those long words right now??

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m in the caf

Quiet room

**Yang Xiao Long**

is it cool if we join u?

**Blake Belladonna**

Of course

**Yang Xiao Long**

just making extra sure that’s what u wanted

**Nora Valkyrie**

How very considerate of you, Yang

Is there french toast

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes

**Nora Valkyrie**

Change of plans Ren

Carry me to the caf

**Lie Ren**

on my way

***

**[Saturday 11:19 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

did u see weiss’ face just now

omg

she was not prepared for jaune to show up

**Blake Belladonna**

Did she really throw up on his shoes?

**Yang Xiao Long**

poor guy, he can’t even be mad

he’s had a huge crush on her since like freshman year

**Blake Belladonna**

I take it she’s not interested

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha

yeah

**Blake Belladonna**

What’s up

**Yang Xiao Long**

not much

loving this french toast

**Blake Belladonna**

Mm, I think your pancakes are better.

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s it

**Blake Belladonna**

What’s what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s the perfect compliment

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, I think very highly of your pancakes

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah?

my pancakes think very highly of you too

what do u like about them

**Blake Belladonna**

They’re very sweet, for one thing

**Yang Xiao Long**

so i’ve been told

anything else?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ll admit, I didn’t expect them to be so soft

**Yang Xiao Long**

they’re full of surprises

**Blake Belladonna**

They are

Really wonderful surprises

And, well...they’re incredibly hot

**Yang Xiao Long**

fresh off the griddle baby 

just to be super clear tho 

pancakes is code right

you’re talking about me?

**Blake Belladonna**

Maybe

A lot of things are sweet and soft

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t forget hot

also definitely thought u were talking about my boobs for a second there

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh

Well...

**Yang Xiao Long**

can i ask u something

**Blake Belladonna**

I didn’t know pancakes could talk :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha

but seriously

what do you want here?

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you offering to get me more French toast?

**Yang Xiao Long**

no i meant more generally

but sure if u want

**Blake Belladonna**

Like I said, very sweet

But you’re asking what I want

Right?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

**Blake Belladonna**

Long answer or short answer?

**Yang Xiao Long**

long?

**Blake Belladonna**

To pass all of my classes this term, graduate on time, get a job where I can help people, live in an apartment with a balcony so I can keep a small herb garden, and foster kittens until they’re ready to find long-term homes

**Yang Xiao Long**

very specific

and just immensely cute

what's the short answer?

**Blake Belladonna**

You

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh thank fuck

**Blake Belladonna**

Should we maybe continue this conversation in private?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re so smart blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you want to get some French toast to go?

**Yang Xiao Long**

do u have any idea how hard it is

not to jump across the table

and kiss you right now

***

**[Saturday 4:39 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

ALRIGHT MISS NIKOS

DETAILS

NOW

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Details? About what?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Rugby

Lunch

JAUNE

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Oh 😊

**Nora Valkyrie**

How did this happen????

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Well, we’ve been talking a lot more ever since I started tutoring him

**Nora Valkyrie**

HOT

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

He’s very considerate. And thoughtful.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Love that for you

DOUBLE DATE WHEN

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Oh, I don’t...think it’s like that.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pyrrha Nikos

Did you have a one-night stand

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I didn’t mean to!

But I don’t think he’s interested in something more.

**Nora Valkyrie**

FJDKSFJKHGJKDJJKF

Yang will you please get in here and tell Pyrrha exactly why she’s being RIDICULOUS

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

:(

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi i’m muting u guys for a bit

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHY

**Yang Xiao Long**

doing stuff

stuff = my girlfriend

**Nora Valkyrie**

ARE YOU

OH MY GODS

IT’S OFFICIAL

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

So happy for you two! 😍😍

**Nora Valkyrie**

THEY FUCKIN’

**Yang Xiao Long**

bye

**Nora Valkyrie**

TRIPLE DATE WHEN!!!!!

***

**[Saturday 4:41 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (8 members)]**

**[Nora Valkyrie created a poll:**

**Blang - 0 votes**

**Yake - 0 votes]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Vote now

**Weiss Schnee**

What?

**Jaune Arc**

Seconded

**Ruby Rose**

Thirded?

**Nora Valkyrie**

OFFICIAL COUPLE NAME FOR BLAKE AND YANG

BECAUSE THEY’RE  O F F I C I A L

**Ruby Rose**

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

**Lie Ren**

:)

**[Ruby Rose voted for Blang.]**

**[Ruby Rose voted for Yake.]**

**Jaune Arc**

Doesn’t voting for both options skew the results?

**[Lie Ren voted for Blang.]**

**[Jaune Arc voted for Yake.]**

**[Nora Valkyrie voted for Blang.]**

**[Nora Valkyrie voted for Yake.]**

**Weiss Schnee**

This poll is so far from statistically sound.

**[Weiss Schnee voted for Blang.]**

**[Pyrrha Nikos voted for Yake.]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

NOO

WE NEED A TIEBREAKER

**[Nora Valkyrie added Sun Wukong to the group.]**

**Sun Wukong**

Whoa

Whats up party people

**Nora Valkyrie**

HELLO

VOTE NOW

**Sun Wukong**

For what

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang and Blake’s couple name, apparently.

It’s a deeply scientific process.

**Sun Wukong**

Black and yellow

**Nora Valkyrie**

That’s not one of the OPTIONS

**[Sun Wukong voted for Black and Yellow.]**

**Sun Wukong**

It is now *<:0)

**Nora Valkyrie**

Who added u

***

**[Saturday 6:53 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I realize you’re probably deeply embroiled in your honeymoon phase, but I have a slight emergency.

Congratulations, by the way.

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you okay?

What’s the emergency

**Weiss Schnee**

It might be easier to show you

I found this on my phone...

[WeissKissingRuby_Selfie.jpg]

I don’t remember taking it. Ruby probably doesn't either.

If she does, she hasn't said anything. Is that a bad thing?

It feels like a bad thing. 

**Blake Belladonna**

that’s not an emergency ur just gay

**Weiss Schnee**

YANG.

**Blake Belladonna**

be nice to my sister or i’ll kick ur ass 😘

**Weiss Schnee**

Blake, will you please keep your feral girlfriend under control?

**Blake Belladonna**

Not much I can do, sorry

But I trust you know how to navigate this

**Weiss Schnee**

Blake?

Yang?

This is an emergency! Don’t leave me!

**Blake Belladonna**

bye weiss love u :)

**Weiss Schnee**

You two are insufferable.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi gays i escaped my family reunion to bring u this free-range, grade a, organic dumbassery
> 
> love u all <3


	12. construe this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss faces another thrilling mini game in her self-exploration journey: Attraction Or Compulsory Heterosexuality? She also receives an unexpected message from a family member (hint: it's not the good one). 
> 
> Yang opens up to Blake about her lack of *experience* while Nora tries to push Jaune and Pyrrha together. 
> 
> Later, some shocking news rattles the crew.

**[Tuesday 5:19 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (9 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

WE

ARE

TRENDING!!!!!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Congratulations to you both! 😱

**Lie Ren**

thank you :)

but why are you afraid?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yeah, all we did was parachute off the administrative building

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Wait, you did what?

**Jaune Arc**

Pyrrha, that’s the scream emoji

**Yang Xiao Long**

screamoji

sensed a pun opportunity

now i’m going back to sleep

**Nora Valkyrie**

TELL BLAKE I SAY HI

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Not everyone has Monday night sleepovers, Nora 👅

**Nora Valkyrie**

PYRRHA

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hm?

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake says hi

**Nora Valkyrie**

heheHE

**Yang Xiao Long**

well

she says “why am i awake i don’t care”

actually there was more swearing

**Sun Wukong**

Hey everyone :^D

Hi Blake!

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun

You’re still here

And texting me at 5:30 am

**Sun Wukong**

Ya actually can I add my friend Neptune?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I have no authority here anymore

Add away

**Weiss Schnee**

Wait, Neptune?

**[Sun Wukong added Neptune Vasilias to the chat.]**

**Sun Wukong**

NOW its a party *<:)

**Neptune Vasilias**

What’s up everyone?

Hey Weiss ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

Hello.

**Yang Xiao Long**

suddenly i am wide awake

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’ve got crew practice soon, talk to you all later! 💦💦

**Nora Valkyrie**

NO MORE EMOJIS until I teach you what they all mean

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Am I using them wrong?

**Jaune Arc**

Depends what you’re trying to say...

**Nora Valkyrie**

Jaune you had ONE JOB

You guys should spend 2-4 hours together discussing the intricacies of emoji culture perhaps over a fancy dinner

**Lie Ren**

definitely

**Jaune Arc**

Can’t you just Google what they all mean?

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHERE’S THE FANCY DINNER IN THAT JAUNE

**Lie Ren**

that’s a rhetorical question

**Jaune Arc**

I got that, thank you Ren

**Lie Ren**

no problem :)

**[Blake Belladonna left the chat.]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll add her back later

she’s really grumpy in the morning

it’s adorable

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah dont ever try the water trick on her

Unless you really want to see her impression of a feral alley cat

Its scarring

Literally

Part of my eyebrow will never grow back

Worth it

**Lie Ren**

what water trick?

**Neptune Vasilias**

You put a sleeping person’s hand in a bucket of ice w*ter

They get like shocked awake

It’s cruel and terrible

**Nora Valkyrie**

Did you just censor the word water

**Neptune Vasilias**

I don’t know what you’re talking about

**Lie Ren**

[W*ter.jpg]

?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Looks normal to me

**Sun Wukong**

Aaaaanyways

We heard you guys are having a Halloween party B-)

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

**Sun Wukong**

So whens that goin down

**Yang Xiao Long**

on halloween

**Sun Wukong**

Nice

**Neptune Vasilias**

Cool

**Nora Valkyrie**

Mr. Wukong we have a no-nose rule when it comes to smileys

**Sun Wukong**

Aw :0(

**Nora Valkyrie**

That one is okay

**Sun Wukong**

:0)

**Yang Xiao Long**

actually i should make the event invite

thanks sun

**Sun Wukong**

Hey no prob!

Thats what Im here for! *<|:0D

**Nora Valkyrie**

Your emoticons are so ELABORATE

I love that silly clown man

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s not a very nice thing to call ren

**Nora Valkyrie**

ASHDKFLJKL;AJSKLDJGKLSDH

**Lie Ren**

*<|:0(

***

**[Tuesday 4:04 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Neptune Vasilias**

Hey ;)

Pretty cool that we’re in the same group chat now huh?

Small world

**Weiss Schnee**

I feel nothing but disdain for that group.

Not the people. The quantity of messages.

**Neptune Vasilias**

I’m guessing it gets pretty wild in there

**Weiss Schnee**

You haven’t even seen the worst of it. Hopefully Nora doesn’t buy more drug paraphernalia anytime soon.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Do you guys smoke together?

**Weiss Schnee**

Are you serious?

No.

I do not partake in such philistine activities.

**Neptune Vasilias**

That’s cool

That’s cool

Me neither

**Weiss Schnee**

Really?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Well sometimes I do

Sun has good taste

**Weiss Schnee**

In what?

**Neptune Vasilias**

You know like

Weed

**Weiss Schnee**

I didn’t realize it required a sophisticated palette.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Like a paint palette? I mean it doesn't

Unless you're making a really artsy bong I guess?

**Weiss Schnee**

It was a joke. Never mind.

Would you like to get dinner sometime?

**Neptune Vasilias**

I’m headed to the caf right now actually

See you there? ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

Unfortunately, I have a paper to write tonight

I might have put off doing it over the weekend in favor of going out.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Sounds kind of philadelphian if you ask me

**Weiss Schnee**

What?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Oh like that thing you said earlier

**Weiss Schnee**

Philistine?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Yeah cool word

Anyway let me know when you’re free ;)

***

**[Tuesday 4:19 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

What does it mean when someone uses a winking face three times in one conversation?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i think u know ;) ;) ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

I was afraid of that.

**Yang Xiao Long**

did neptune hit you up

**Weiss Schnee**

He texted me, yes.

We haven’t really talked since Ruby’s birthday party, but he’s charming enough.

**Yang Xiao Long**

“charming enough”

wow

so what is it

the manic panic hair dye or the number of buckles on his jacket

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean?

I just want to figure out if he’s my type. If any “he” is my type, I suppose.

**Yang Xiao Long**

that's not a super easy question to answer, but

here's one way to go about it

**Weiss Schnee**

What

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok listen

as ruby’s sister, i say “weiss what the fuck”

as your friend, i say “weiss get the fuck”

**Weiss Schnee**

Excuse me??

I have no interest in sleeping with him.

**Yang Xiao Long**

then there u go

question answered

**Weiss Schnee**

But going out with him might not be the worst thing in the world, right?

**Yang Xiao Long**

say that to him

i always ask people out by telling them they’re charming enough and not the worst thing in the world

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re no help.

**Yang Xiao Long**

aren’t i

**Weiss Schnee**

No.

Besides, he's only one person. Ruby's only one person. Really, I won't get a comprehensive answer about what I want either way. 

**Yang Xiao Long**

dude i will meet god herself before *anyone* fully understands themselves on that level

for real tho

if u wanna see if things pan out with neptune that’s like, cool or whatever

and yes that was a pun

**Weiss Schnee**

Is this really the time?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s always the time

but

i remind u

don’t hurt ruby

or yourself

**Weiss Schnee**

How would I be the one getting hurt in this situation?

**Yang Xiao Long**

easy

if u hurt ruby i beat u up

**Weiss Schnee**

I didn’t realize I was seeking advice from a middle school bully.

**Yang Xiao Long**

joking, weiss

for real tho

the whole neptune thing is the potentially less complicated option

but easier isn’t always better

especially if it’s not what u actually want

so like idk hang out with him see how u feel but don’t force urself to enjoy it

just because you think you have to

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s surprisingly insightful

**Yang Xiao Long**

what do u mean surprisingly

i’ve known u since u believed dino chicken nuggets were a 5 star dish

which, they are

7 year old weiss and i understand each other

now it’s time for 22 year old weiss to understand...herself

😎👉👉

**Weiss Schnee**

Do you think I should just tell Ruby?

**Yang Xiao Long**

dude idk

i can't decide that for u

it sounds like u got a lot to work through before u drag her into it 

i mean u could dramatically confess if u want

but only if u can handle doing it sober this time

and don’t (dino) chicken out afterwards

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ve almost gone for it a few times.

Except I haven’t quite gotten to the confessing part.

I hate that word. It makes it sound like having feelings is a crime.

**Yang Xiao Long**

isn’t it to u

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m never asking you for advice again

***

**[Tuesday 8:06 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

WEIIIIIIIIIIISS

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes?

**Ruby Rose**

Hi!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Did you...need something?

**Ruby Rose**

Nope

Just saying hi!

Whatcha up to

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m at the library writing a paper.

It’s not going well.

Three hours and I barely have two pages.

**Ruby Rose**

Aw :(

Wait three hours? Did you eat DINNER???

**Weiss Schnee**

I have a protein bar in my bag.

**Ruby Rose**

That’s not dinner!!!

Do You Like Grilled Cheese

**Weiss Schnee**

They’re fine.

Why did you write it like that?

**Ruby Rose**

Because it’s an important question!!!

There are so many options

White, wheat, sourdough (blegh), multigrain

Swiss, Cheddar, American, M A R B L E J A C K

**Weiss Schnee**

I really don’t have time to chat about my dairy preferences right now.

Though I suppose if I had to choose I would say multigrain and swiss.

**Ruby Rose**

Ok that’s weird! Good luck with your paper!

WEISS where are you sitting

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby. I need to work.

**Ruby Rose**

Yes but first you need to eat!

**Weiss Schnee**

Did you bring me dinner?

You shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble.

**Ruby Rose**

But I did

And now you have to eat this weird sandwich or my feelings will be very hurt

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll meet you in the lobby.

***

**[Wednesday 11:39 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi gf

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang, we’re in class.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i heard u giggle

**Blake Belladonna**

Maybe.

**Yang Xiao Long**

well

now that i have ur attention

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh, you don’t

I’m very focused on Professor Port’s riveting lecture

**Yang Xiao Long**

mhm

**Blake Belladonna**

Is he writing words on the board or are those supposed to be diagrams?

I honestly don’t think he knows.

**Yang Xiao Long**

would you rather think about something more exciting?

**Blake Belladonna**

Why do I get the feeling this is going somewhere inappropriate

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i would never

**Blake Belladonna**

Never?

What if I asked nicely?

...Did you just snort?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i was surprised ok

shit now professor port thinks that i think he’s funny

dammit

**Blake Belladonna**

What a travesty

**Yang Xiao Long**

i may never recover

anyway what were u gonna say?

**Blake Belladonna**

I think you were about to say something, actually.

Distracted?

**Yang Xiao Long**

a little

**Blake Belladonna**

Me too

I don’t usually have trouble focusing in class, but I had an interesting couple of nights.

**Yang Xiao Long**

did you

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes

Looks like you did too

The makeup on your neck doesn’t quite match your skin tone, by the way.

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit

uh

for real?

like it is super obvious

is it*

**Blake Belladonna**

It's not that bad, no

**Yang Xiao Long**

u scared me 

haha

**Blake Belladonna**

So articulate

I’ve been thinking

If you’re up for it

I’d love to find out what else your mouth is good at

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake

are we really doing this right now?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sorry. Does it make you uncomfortable?

I should have asked first. That was way too forward.

I’m really sorry.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh no i mean

kind of?

but only because

ahh

hm

i’ve never done this before

**Blake Belladonna**

What do you mean?

You’ve never traded suggestive messages during class?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok that i have done

but not other stuff

like, beyond the other night

u know what i mean?

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh

That’s okay.

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know the rest of the squad thinks we’re already

like

you know

nora’s really being a dick about it

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s her problem. Not yours.

Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah?

**Blake Belladonna**

There’s no rush.

**Yang Xiao Long**

thanks haha

**Blake Belladonna**

And you don’t need to be nervous.

**Yang Xiao Long**

okay

i am tho

**Blake Belladonna**

Could’ve fooled me.

You walk a razor-thin tightrope between endearingly confident and charmingly cocky

Both good things, by the way

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah the cocky would be the nervous haha

cool

now my sentences don’t even make sense

**Blake Belladonna**

They do.

Hey

Breathe, okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m good

ok

i just don’t wanna disappoint

when we get to all that stuff

i really like you, u know?

**Blake Belladonna**

I won’t be disappointed

**Yang Xiao Long**

how do u know

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s you

**Yang Xiao Long**

that

babe.

that was the hottest thing you’ve sent me all class

**Blake Belladonna**

Emotionally charged sexting really does it for you, huh?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you have no idea

but if you meet me in the gender neutral single person bathroom on the first floor after class

you can find out

**Blake Belladonna**

Very specific

I’ll see what I can do

***

**[Wednesday 12:27 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

YANG

Did you get a table already???

Yaaaaaaang

Where are youuuu

I’m by the usual corner! Someone took our table D:

Ooh they have cookies!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi sorry i’ll be there in 5

had to do something after class

**Ruby Rose**

No problem!! More cookies for meeee

**Yang Xiao Long**

did u have fun this weekend

**Ruby Rose**

Yeah!!

But I didn’t feel very good Saturday morning T_T

**Yang Xiao Long**

my own sister, a lightweight

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss said she threw up on Jaune’s shoes, so at least I did better than her

**Yang Xiao Long**

did u guys hang out?

**Ruby Rose**

Me and Jaune? We have class together every Monday afternoon

Oh you mean Weiss? Yeah we had dinner the other day!!

She was working on a paper so I brought her a grilled cheeeeese

**Yang Xiao Long**

aww

cute

**Ruby Rose**

FRIENDS BRING FRIENDS FOOD ALL THE TIME

**Yang Xiao Long**

sure

that’s why i bring blake tea when she’s working

because of my completely platonic desire to make out with her

**Ruby Rose**

STAAAAAHP

**Yang Xiao Long**

lmao sorry sis

i actually bring food to like, everyone

**Ruby Rose**

Exactly!!! :<

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha would probably die if i didn't supply her with snacks

she has to eat like 4000 calories a day for sports

probably more now that she’s banging jaune

no wonder she lives at trader joe’s

**Ruby Rose**

SHE WHA

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh ya

big time

**Ruby Rose**

TELL MEEEE

Are u almost here and if so please bring me another cookie thanks!!!

***

**[Wednesday 11:47 p.m.]**

**[Nora Valkyrie created the group (4 members).]**

**[Nora Valkyrie named the group “PRNJ.”]**

**Jaune Arc**

What

**Lie Ren**

seconded

what’s prnj?

**Nora Valkyrie**

it rhymes with “orange”

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh, it’s all of our initials!

Like Weiss did for the RWBY apartment group. That’s cute 😚

**Nora Valkyrie**

I take it you two have not had your emoji talk yet

**Jaune Arc**

We did. She thinks that one is saying "ooh."

**Lie Ren**

oh no

**Jaune Arc**

Oh yes

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Am I still using it wrong?

**Nora Valkyrie**

No send that one to Jaune ALL THE TIME

😚😚😚

**Lie Ren**

why do we have a group chat though?

the four of us aren’t roommates. or siblings

**Jaune Arc**

Well, Nora does kind of live with us

At least it feels like that in the morning

When I’m standing outside the bathroom waiting to shower and she’s got three whole sections left to sing in Bohemian Rhapsody

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU CAN’T RUSH ART

Ren fully clothed shower singing vlogs write it down

**Lie Ren**

👍

**Nora Valkyrie**

ANYWAY

How do we feel about cooking

**Jaune Arc**

All of my Sims have maxed out cooking skills.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Please, please do not brag about that

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I loved that game when I was younger!

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah. Younger. I definitely wasn’t up playing it until 4 am last night.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Speaking of staying up late, I should get to bed!

**Nora Valkyrie**

You BOTH should 😏

**Lie Ren**

nora, let them be

much like your shower concerts, some things cannot be rushed

***

**[Friday 7:37 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Whitley Schnee**

Hello, Weiss. We haven’t heard from you in a while, and Father is getting worried. Winter visited us last weekend and said you might be “seeing someone.” If so, we are curious to know more about him. Surely you’ve found someone who lives up to the Schnee family name. I, on the other hand, have recently been named student of the month in my 8th grade class, and in celebration Father is taking me on tour of some of the most prestigious colleges. We’ll be passing through your area, though we will not be officially visiting your campus. Perhaps I shall consider it for a safety school. Please respond at your earliest convenience. - Whitley.

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re 14. Text like it.

**Whitley Schnee**

Weiss, how wonderful to hear from you so soon. Have you spoken with Father?

**Weiss Schnee**

No. I have exams this week.

**Whitley Schnee**

With how many times you’ve used that excuse, I assume you must be taking extra classes. Are you finally pursing an economics major?

**Weiss Schnee**

I get enough exposure to “finance bros” in my marketing classes, thank you very much.

**Whitley Schnee**

Finance bros? Yes, I’ve seen the "memes."

A plebeian attempt to tear down the educated proletariat.

**Weiss Schnee**

Proletariat means working class, you dunce.

**Whitley Schnee**

I was testing you.

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m sure.

What do you want?

**Whitley Schnee**

As I said in my preliminary message, Father and I will be visiting you. He’s requested your presence at dinner on the 31st of October.

**Weiss Schnee**

Fine.

It will have to be early. I have a social engagement later that evening.

**Whitley Schnee**

Ah. A party? Really?

No wonder you’ve grown so defensive of the lower class. You’ve become complacent to be in their company.

**Weiss Schnee**

You know what? Yes. Yes, you little Shitley. It’s a party. And there will be wine there, and vodka, and most likely tequila. And I’m going to consume said beverages freely yet responsibly because I am an adult and it will be Halloween and I’m going to have fun with my FRIENDS whose company I do in fact enjoy. Maybe there will be a boy involved and maybe there won’t be, but it doesn’t really matter because at least my friends actually care about me and want me to enjoy my life and DON’T TEXT LIKE THEY’RE FORTY.

**Whitley Schnee**

So many sentence fragments...

Regardless, we’ll see you on the 31st.

I text like this to avoid having my words misconstrued.

**Weiss Schnee**

Construe this

🖕🏻

***

**[Friday 4:10 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

I REMEMBERED

**Blake Belladonna**

The 21st night of September?

**Yang Xiao Long**

wait what happened on

OMG

ur so funny

**Blake Belladonna**

:P

**Yang Xiao Long**

i remembered what i wanted to ask u the other day

before

well

**Blake Belladonna**

Before you almost forgot your shirt in the gender neutral bathroom?

**Yang Xiao Long**

gods i love it when ur feisty

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

so

dinner this weekend?

there’s a really cool restaurant i wanna try

they use CASHEW CHEESE in their food

how weird is that

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ve had it before. It can be pretty good. Or very, very bad

**Yang Xiao Long**

sounds like a fun adventure then

**Blake Belladonna**

Saturday?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes perfect :))

also

thots

should i make this halloween party an open thing

**Blake Belladonna**

What do you usually do?

**Yang Xiao Long**

depends

ruby’s party was supposed to be just a couple people

but you saw how that turned out

i figure if i make this one an open event

i’ll at least be a little more prepared if i find a shirtless man in my fridge

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you hoping to find a shirtless man in your fridge?

**Yang Xiao Long**

if he’s holding extra guacamole, then yes

**Blake Belladonna**

I'll let Sun know. He actually makes very good guacamole

May as well make it an open party, then.

**Yang Xiao Long**

done

ur so smart blake

**Blake Belladonna**

:)

***

**[Saturday 1:33 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (9 members)]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Yang, when are you sending out the Halloween party invitation?

**Yang Xiao Long**

well, first of all, never, because it’s not 1950

**Weiss Schnee**

I volunteer to sponsor the food.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh cool

what do u want to bring

**Weiss Schnee**

All of it

All of the food

And the drinks

**Yang Xiao Long**

whoa

i mean yeah u got the job

**[Yang Xiao Long added Blake Belladonna to the group.]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Any requests?

**Ruby Rose**

Cookies!!!

**Jaune Arc**

Chips! Plain please

**Lie Ren**

salt & vinegar too

**Nora Valkyrie**

Terrible

DILL PICKLE CHIPS

**Sun Wukong**

Bananas :0D

**Neptune Vasilias**

Gatorade

**Nora Valkyrie**

w e e d

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora that’s not a food

**Lie Ren**

it can be

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur not wrong

but

i’m not gonna ask weiss to spend her money on that

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s fine. More than fine, really. It’s not my money.

What’s the minimum budget necessary for Marijuana brownies?

**Blake Belladonna**

Did you just capitalize Marijuana

**Neptune Vasilias**

Respect

Thought you didn’t use it though?

**Weiss Schnee**

There’s a first time for everything, right?

Halloween’s as good a moment as any.

**Neptune Vasilias**

This party is going to RULE

**Sun Wukong**

This party is going to ROCK

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, which is it? :P

**[Jaune Arc created a poll: THIS PARTY IS GOING TO**

**ROCK - 0 votes**

**RULE - 0 votes]**

**Jaune Arc**

Vote now

**[Nora Valkyrie voted for W E E D.]**

**[Lie Ren voted for W E E D.]**

**[Weiss Schnee voted for W E E D.]**

**[Ruby Rose voted for COOKIES!!!.]**

**[Yang Xiao Long voted for COOKIES!!!.]**

**[Neptune Vasilias voted for ROCK.]**

**Sun Wukong**

Aw Neptune u voted for mine!

**Neptune Vasilias**

I got u buddy 💙

**[Sun Wukong voted for W E E D.]**

**Neptune Vasilias**

Betrayal

Did you get the Gatorade Weiss?

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes. All of this is going on my list. Even bananas and whatever Gatorade is.

**Sun Wukong**

And peanut butter! :D

**Yang Xiao Long**

please can i come on this shopping trip please

**Weiss Schnee**

Who else is going to carry all of the bags?

Plus, I have no idea where to buy Weed.

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss please

the capitalization

i can’t handle it

**Ruby Rose**

I will help!!

Not with the drugs but with the shopping!

**Weiss Schnee**

If you have any more requests, let me know.

**Jaune Arc**

Hey, where’s Pyrrha?

**Yang Xiao Long**

rugby probs

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll ask her later.

Anything for you, Blake?

**Blake Belladonna**

Tuna

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHAT

**Lie Ren**

hm

**Jaune Arc**

Interesting

**Blake Belladonna**

We all have our vices

**Weiss Schnee**

Done

**Ruby Rose**

Hey guys, uh

Pyrrha’s mom just called me

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHY DOES SHE HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER

**Ruby Rose**

That’s not really important right now

Pyrrha’s in the hospital

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit

**Nora Valkyrie**

FUCK

**Lie Ren**

what happened?

**Ruby Rose**

I don’t know but I’m heading over now

Anyone want to come with?

**Jaune Arc**

Yes

**Yang Xiao Long**

i can drive too

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll go with Ruby.

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora ren jaune ur with me and blake

ruby text us when ur lyft gets here

**Sun Wukong**

Let us know if you guys need anything

**Neptune Vasilias**

Yeah, for sure

***

**[Saturday 2:21 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

[PyrrhaInHospitalBed.jpg]

[ILivedBitch.jpg]

spot the difference

**Ruby Rose**

She’s ok!!!!

We’ll be there in 4 minutes :o

**Neptune Vasilias**

Good to hear!

**Sun Wukong**

Can I ask what happened?

**Yang Xiao Long**

some bitch named Cinder slide tackled her

**Blake Belladonna**

Sprained ankle and possible ACL tear

Waiting on MRI results

**Yang Xiao Long**

who fucking slide tackles in rugby

what a dumbass

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m glad she’s alright.

**Ruby Rose**

Just kidding we’re gonna stop and pick up flowers!!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Hi everyone <3

**Ruby Rose**

PYRRHA!!!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

How are you feeling?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m okay. You really don’t have to bring me flowers, though I appreciate it. :)

**Ruby Rose**

It was supposed to be a surprise :((

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Okay. I can pretend I didn’t know!

**Jaune Arc**

She’s not supposed to be texting. She might have a concussion

**Ruby Rose**

Okay Jaune please tell Pyrrha I love her!

And take good care of her ^^

**Jaune Arc**

Yep

**Lie Ren**

nora should i get vanilla or chocolate pudding

**Nora Valkyrie**

vanilla for pyrrha

chocolate for me

and another 6 chocolate for me

**Lie Ren**

thank goodness we're already in a hospital

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a shitty, shitty week but I love u all so very much <3
> 
> i'm somnambule-plus on tumblr if that sorta thing floats ur goat. that's something a family friend said this week and i can't stop thinking about it


	13. how do you feel about pda?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pyrrha returns to campus and Jaune takes it upon himself to become her personal assistant. Ren and Nora get very, very invested. 
> 
> Weiss finally snaps (in a gay way). 
> 
> Meanwhile, Blake and Yang figure out how to navigate the next step in their relationship, and Blake opens up about her past. 
> 
> (Content warning: descriptions of Adam Taurus' shitty, shitty behavior near the end. Not quite at the level of canon violence, but this guy is just the worst in every universe. Even this largely humorous one.)

**[Sunday 10:34 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Where are you guys???

**Yang Xiao Long**

at the hospital

employing the healing power of pancakes on pyrrha

she’s going home today, no acl tear!

bad concussion tho so no screens for like a week

**Ruby Rose**

Oh that’s good!!! No screens is better than surgery

BUT HOW DARE YOU HAVE BRUNCH WITHOUT MEEEEEE

**Yang Xiao Long**

i tried to wake u up

u told me to go eat my lamp

still not sure if that was an insult or a challenge

**Ruby Rose**

You poked me in the cheek!!! Several times!!

It was NOT pleasant

**Yang Xiao Long**

would u rather i’d thrown a pancake at ur face

**Ruby Rose**

YES

THEN I WOULD HAVE A PANCAKE

**Yang Xiao Long**

why don’t u see if weiss has brunch plans

[EyebrowWaggle.gif]

**Ruby Rose**

I’m too wounded by your betrayal to leave the apartment

Killed by my own sister...

The humanity!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ve seen u inhale a stack of pancakes

there’s nothing human abou tit

**Ruby Rose**

Hehe tit

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol

anyway i left some batter and directions by the stove

**Ruby Rose**

You could have led with that!!!

I know how to make pancakes Yang

I’ve watched you make them like a THOUSAND times

**Yang Xiao Long**

did u butter the skillet first

**Ruby Rose**

...........

**Yang Xiao Long**

u now have 4 pancakes worth of batter remaining

**Ruby Rose**

You’re underestimating how big I made that first failed pancake :(

**Yang Xiao Long**

3 pancakes left

be careful

**Ruby Rose**

[Directions.jpg]

This isn’t funny Yang >:c

**Yang Xiao Long**

man ur just all grumpy faces today huh

idk what’s confusing about the list

1\. butter skillet

2\. pour batter

3\. invite weiss over

4\. cook pancake 3-4 minutes each side until golden

**Ruby Rose**

SHE’S NOT INTERESTED

I have made my peace

I am moving on

**Yang Xiao Long**

is she still ur lockscreen

**Ruby Rose**

>:c

**Yang Xiao Long**

;)

***

**[Monday 11:44 p.m.]**

**[PRNJ (4 members)]**

**Lie Ren**

hey guys! i’m at the usual table in the back

**Nora Valkyrie**

UGH

i HATE days when you guys have lunch without me

skype me in

**Lie Ren**

aren’t you in class?

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHAT’S YOUR POINT REN

ugh

you nerds

hanging out without me

on pyrrha’s first day back no less

**Lie Ren**

wait

they just walked in. jaune checked his phone and didn’t reply

**Nora Valkyrie**

looks like you’re joining the lonely losers club, renward my dear~~

**Lie Ren**

if we’re in a club together, then aren’t we by definition not lonely?

**Nora Valkyrie**

hm

smart, smart boy

so, fellow alone person, come here often? 😘

**Lie Ren**

they’re going to the quiet room. probably better for pyrrha’s head

i believe they’re sitting together

**Nora Valkyrie**

*Together* together?!??!

**Lie Ren**

he was carrying her bag for her.

though she is on crutches, so who knows what’s going on

**Nora Valkyrie**

I DO

I KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON

AND HOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY DO I LIKE IT

Keep me posted

**Lie Ren**

i can’t. they’re in a different room.

**Nora Valkyrie**

I swear I have to do ALL the spywork in this relationship

***

**[Monday 3:13 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Neptune Vasilias**

Sup Weiss

**Weiss Schnee**

Hello, Neptune.

**Neptune Vasilias**

How are you?

Stressful weekend and all :/

**Weiss Schnee**

It was. Now that Pyrrha’s back on campus I feel significantly calmer.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Hey that’s awesome :)

So...that dinner?

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m just going to be up front with you.

I’m not interested. There’s someone else.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Oh

Yeah cool no problem

**Weiss Schnee**

For the record, you’re very considerate and quite attractive.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Glad we agree on that :P

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m sorry.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Nah don’t be :)

Whoever they are, I hope they know they’re super lucky. Seriously.

**Weiss Schnee**

_[Read 3:21pm]_

***

**[Monday 3:36 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Would you like to go out for dinner this weekend?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes sounds fun!!!

Where were you thinking?

**Weiss Schnee**

Wait, really?

**Ruby Rose**

Yeah of course! I’m tired of cafeteria food :x

**Weiss Schnee**

Ramen, then?

**Ruby Rose**

Yesssss

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby, you do realize I’m asking you to go out with me, don’t you?

**Ruby Rose**

Of course!

They don’t deliver...

How else are we supposed to get the ramen??? XD

**Weiss Schnee**

Go out

Like a date?

**Ruby Rose**

Oooh ramen would be a really cute date spot!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes it would

That’s why I’m asking you

To go out for ramen with me

On a date

**Ruby Rose**

Wait

You’re asking ME on a date????

Like with you??????

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes!

**Ruby Rose**

Really????????????????

**Weiss Schnee**

I can’t tell if you’re enthusiastic or shocked by the prospect.

**Ruby Rose**

OBVIOUSLY THE FIRST ONE WEISS

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE ASKING ME

ON

A

~*~D A T E~*~

**Weiss Schnee**

...Is that a yes?

**Ruby Rose**

YES IT’S A YES

Hehe it’s kind of funny, my first instinct was to text you and tell you how excited I am

**Weiss Schnee**

Honestly, that’s why it took me so long. Among other reasons.

**Ruby Rose**

What do you mean? :o

**Weiss Schnee**

I wanted to figure things out with myself first. You know my family isn’t the most open-minded, so I felt like I had to be sure. On top of that, given how long you and I have known one another and how close we are, I was afraid to say anything. But this whole situation with Pyrrha got me thinking. What if something absolutely terrible happens tomorrow and I never get the chance to tell you how I feel? What if you get a concussion and forget who I am? If we had to become reacquainted all over again, would we even be friends?

**Ruby Rose**

That’s kiiiinda morbid

But also really romantic!!!

Of course we’d be friends Weiss 😊

So this is your Big Cheesy Gesture huh

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m far from cheesy.

**Ruby Rose**

So this is your Big Lettuce Gesture

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby, do you think lettuce is the opposite of cheese?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes because it is!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

[Sigh.gif]

**Ruby Rose**

I know you laughed :)))

**Weiss Schnee**

Maybe.

Does Saturday sound reasonable to you?

For our date?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes yes yes yes (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:·ﾟ✧

**Weiss Schnee**

You know, you’re not very good at playing hard to get.

**Ruby Rose**

That’s because I’m very easy to get!

Hmm wait that came out weird

**Weiss Schnee**

Haha.

I’m also looking forward to it, by the way.

**Ruby Rose**

Eheeheeheeheehee ^^

**Weiss Schnee**

Right. That.

***

**[Monday 4:18 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg what

**Ruby Rose**

WEISS ASKED ME OUUUUUUUUUUT

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy shit

she did???

**Ruby Rose**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Ruby Rose**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

how long are we gonna do this

**Ruby Rose**

UNTIL SATURDAY WHICH IS WHEN OUR DATE IS

D A T E

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

this is adorable

i can’t believe she actually did it

my little gay prodischnee, all grown up

**Ruby Rose**

WAIT

You knew????

**Yang Xiao Long**

why do u think i’ve been trying to shove u guys into a metaphorical broom closet for the past month

**Ruby Rose**

YANG

WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING

**Yang Xiao Long**

i told you to talk to her like 800 times!!!!

but neither of u fools was gonna do anything about it

it wasn’t my place to tell

**Ruby Rose**

HmmmmMMM

You’re right you’re right <3

She said everything with Pyrrha really got to her

And she didn’t want to waste time or something in case something bad happened to me

**Yang Xiao Long**

dark

but practical?

very weiss

**Ruby Rose**

Yes it is I love it!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh thank fuck the group chats will stop being awkward as hell

i mean

so happy for u

**Ruby Rose**

😊💖🌈🍜

***

**[Monday 6:26 p.m.]**

**[PRNJ (4 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Hour 3 of Jaune/Pyrrha surveillance

This is Agent Valkyreallyhungry reporting live from the cafeteria

**Lie Ren**

what are you doing?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Reporting live from the cafeteria

I thought that was obvious, Agent Lie-and-Wait

And recording for posterity

[Jaune+Pyrrha.mov]

**Lie Ren**

those are terrible codenames

they're so long

are you snapchatting them?

i think that’s a little invasive

**Nora Valkyrie**

It’s not my fault they’re not checking the group chat

**Lie Ren**

wait, what are they talking about? the caf is too loud to hear over.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Now who’s being “a little invasive”

**Lie Ren**

...touché

**Nora Valkyrie**

It’s not like Pyrrha won’t tell me EVERYTHING later

If I sit on her long enough 😈

**Lie Ren**

is he cracking jokes? and is she laughing??

**Nora Valkyrie**

I DON’T KNOW

BUT HER CHEEKS ARE THE SAME COLOR AS HER HAIR

SO KEEP TALKING JAUNE!!!!!

***

**[Monday 8:30 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

babe

**Blake Belladonna**

I love how creative your greetings are :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

😎👉👉

**Blake Belladonna**

What’s up?

**Yang Xiao Long**

did u hear

about weiss

and ruby

**Blake Belladonna**

I did

Weiss is kind of adorable when she’s nervous.

**Yang Xiao Long**

isn’t she though

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur the best <3

**Blake Belladonna**

How are you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

u know

yeah

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m not familiar with that emotion :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha

i wanted to ask u about something

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes?

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u free tomorrow night

**Blake Belladonna**

I can be

Yang, is everything okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah yeah it’s all good

can we talk about sex?

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh

Now?

**Yang Xiao Long**

or like tomorrow

actually now’s good too

since u mentioned it

**Blake Belladonna**

If you want to. I’m not busy

**Yang Xiao Long**

cool

cool

so like

u know it’s kind of a big deal for me

i feel like i’m waiting for something

but i don’t really know *what*

you know what i mean?

**Blake Belladonna**

...Not exactly.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok lemme try other words

i really like u

this is established

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes

Agreed

**Yang Xiao Long**

and i think i might just be putting it off out of habit

sex i mean

but i figure if weiss can make a move so can i

so like, let’s do this

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang, I want to. Believe me.

But what I don’t want to do is pressure you into something or make you feel like you’re being rushed. Especially with everything else that’s going on. As far as I’m concerned, we’re not on a schedule here. There’s no deadline for when--or if--we ever have to do that.

**Yang Xiao Long**

when, not if

i want to

guess it’s just been on my mind a lot

**Blake Belladonna**

Well, I’m flattered :P

But I don’t mind waiting. Really.

**Yang Xiao Long**

even back in high school they always assumed stuff about me

so i guess i’ve just been overcompensating since then? like i don’t want to prove any of them right

shoutout to having boobs for apparently inspiring years of other people’s idiocy

**Blake Belladonna**

Ugh. That’s awful

I’m sorry

**Yang Xiao Long**

no *i’m* sorry

i feel like i’m leading u on every time we hang out

like after class the other day

**Blake Belladonna**

If it’s any reassurance, I have ways of resolving that sort of tension on my own

**Yang Xiao Long**

do u

have ways

**Blake Belladonna**

Mhm

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’ll have to tell me about that sometime

**Blake Belladonna**

Sometime. When we’re ready.

You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart 💜

**Yang Xiao Long**

💛

***

**[Monday 9:46 apm.]**

**[PRNJ (4 members)]**

**Jaune Arc**

Guys. Seriously?

I can see you spying on us from across the lounge

The fake mustaches aren’t as effective as you think.

**Lie Ren**

:)

**Nora Valkyrie**

:))))))))))

KEEP IT UP JAUNE

YOU’RE DOING GREAT

**Jaune Arc**

I’m helping her look things up online so she doesn’t have to look at screens.

**Nora Valkyrie**

UGH

THAT’S SO ADORABLE I CAN’T STAND IT

HOW DO YOU TWO LIVE WITH YOURSELVES

***

**[Tuesday 11:45 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Lunch lunch lunch lunch

**Blake Belladonna**

Be there soon

**Sun Wukong**

Just so Im prepared

Am I eating with Bad Mood Blake or Good Mood Blake today

**Blake Belladonna**

That depends entirely on whether you keep asking ridiculous questions

**Sun Wukong**

Ok ok fair

Hey glad to see Pyrrha back around campus

**Blake Belladonna**

She seems to be handling things well, yeah

**Sun Wukong**

Did u have a good weekend otherwise???

Hows Yaaaang

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m literally going to see you in eight minutes. Patience

**Sun Wukong**

OoOOoohHh that just screams juicy gossip

**Blake Belladonna**

Who gossips about their own relationship?

**Sun Wukong**

Dont change the subject

What happened??

[EyebrowWaggle.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

You two have the same terrible taste in gifs

**Sun Wukong**

I knew I liked her

What happened

**Blake Belladonna**

Well

She said she wants to take the next step

**Sun Wukong**

Shit like marriage??

Thats super fast but I wont say that in the toast if I can be ur Best Man

**Blake Belladonna**

NOT marriage.

You know

**Sun Wukong**

?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sex

**Sun Wukong**

I do know sex

Wait you guys havent done that yet??

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ll explain in person.

**Sun Wukong**

No you wont

Youll use the publicity of the lunchroom as an excuse

So DISH

**Blake Belladonna**

Fine

We’re taking it slow.

She’s never been serious with someone before and I don’t want to rush her into anything.

**Sun Wukong**

Hm

**Blake Belladonna**

What

**Sun Wukong**

I thought she said she was ready

**Blake Belladonna**

It was a stressful weekend. Everyone is a little emotional right now.

Weiss finally snapped and asked Ruby out

**Sun Wukong**

Damn I owe Neptune $20 <:0(

**Blake Belladonna**

Why.

**Sun Wukong**

I might have bet him that he could get a date with Weiss

**Blake Belladonna**

You two should really think about investing in an extra brain cell to share.

The one you have right now isn’t being paid enough overtime.

**Sun Wukong**

Ouch

But noted

For now, Yang

If she says she’s ready, what’s holding you back?

**Blake Belladonna**

She might not be

What if she’s just saying it because she thinks it’s what I want to hear?

Maybe she really /wants/ to be ready but she’s just not and she doesn’t know how to explain that to someone who she might be falling in love with

**Sun Wukong**

Whoa

She said she loves you???

**Blake Belladonna**

No I didn’t say that

**Sun Wukong**

Wait

Are YOU falling in love with HER?

**Blake Belladonna**

We’re not talking about me

**Sun Wukong**

Uh

I think we might be

**Blake Belladonna**

Don’t, Sun.

**Sun Wukong**

Can I ask one question?

**Blake Belladonna**

If you must

**Sun Wukong**

I know you havent dated since

You know

Have you *been* with anyone else in the past year?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m not talking about this

**Sun Wukong**

Fine no more questions

But mayyyyybe youre using Yang’s inexperience as a smokescreen

Just a little bit

**Blake Belladonna**

Idk what you’re talking about

**Sun Wukong**

Blake

Im gonna remind you as many times as you need to hear it

Let yourself be loved, okay?

**Blake Belladonna**

What happened to no more questions

**Sun Wukong**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Are u coming to lunch or no

I see you!

Ah hello Bad Mood Blake

***

**[Tuesday 10:38 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (10 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

halloween event is *finally* up!

**Ruby Rose**

YAYYY less than 2 week!!!

Weeks*

**Lie Ren**

the header photo is adorable :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha thanks it’s from the first halloween party i ever hosted

we were like, 8 and 7

and my dad made our costumes

**Ruby Rose**

I remember!!

It was so fun

**Weiss Schnee**

Did you really have to post that?

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t be mad weiss

u were a very cute blue m&m

**Weiss Schnee**

😒

**Jaune Arc**

Can I change my god costume?

Please?

I really don’t want to be a shirtless magic love baby...

**Nora Valkyrie**

JAUNE

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes but u have to consult the list to see what’s still available

weiss schnee u better not wait until the last second to decide

and then dramatically complain that what u want is taken

**Nora Valkyrie**

OH HERE WE GO 👀

**Yang Xiao Long**

here we what

**Weiss Schnee**

I already said I’m going to be Artemis.

**Yang Xiao Long**

excuse me???

**Nora Valkyrie**

👀👀👀

**Lie Ren**

👀

**Jaune Arc**

I thought we resolved this a while ago

**Ruby Rose**

I think Yang and Blake were busy on their first date when Weiss called it :o

**Yang Xiao Long**

i definitely called dibs before that

plus

being too busy on a date with a gorgeous lady is *exactly* what artemis would do

so i win either way

**Jaune Arc**

Pyrrha says you could both go as Artemis!

**Weiss Schnee**

No.

**Yang Xiao Long**

no way

**Jaune Arc**

One of her hunters, then?

**Nora Valkyrie**

They’re never going to DUEL for it if you keep offering peaceful solutions

**Jaune Arc**

And that’s a bad thing because..?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Shh

I’ve been waiting WEEKS for this payoff

**Blake Belladonna**

Who’s fighting now?

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi blake 💛

**Blake Belladonna**

💜

**Weiss Schnee**

Last warning, you two.

**Yang Xiao Long**

aw weiss don’t be jealous

now u can flirt with ruby in group chats too

**Nora Valkyrie**

Hello?????

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll tell u later nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

Why am I the LAST person to hear about everybody’s dating drama???!?!

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m happy to trade Athena with someone if necessary

**Weiss Schnee**

I suppose I could be Athena. She’s very intelligent, after all.

**Ruby Rose**

And prettyyyyy ^^

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok great start sis

now let’s try branching out from “pretty”

**Weiss Schnee**

We don’t need your help with flirting, Yang.

Ruby’s doing just fine.

**Ruby Rose**

YEAH

[HighFive.gif]

**Weiss Schnee**

[HighFive.gif]

**Nora Valkyrie**

ANYWAY

Weiss are you and Yang throwing down or not

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know what

weiss u can be artemis

**Weiss Schnee**

Really?

**Nora Valkyrie**

NOOOO

**Jaune Arc**

Does that mean Athena is still up for grabs?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sure

**Jaune Arc**

I’ll take it

It’s a thousand times better than cupid

**Lie Ren**

eros

**Jaune Arc**

Same thing, right?

**Lie Ren**

close enough.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Jaune you know who can help make your costume???

PyRrhA

**Jaune Arc**

Oh, really?

**Lie Ren**

she custom-made all of the uniforms for the rugby team.

**Jaune Arc**

That’s amazing!

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yes please make sure you tell her how amazing it is

**Ruby Rose**

IT IS

How have we never talked about this before Pyrrha???? I make all my own cosplays!!

Jaune I can also help!

**Nora Valkyrie**

I think Pyrrha can handle it!

**Lie Ren**

nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

😒😒😒

**Jaune Arc**

Oh cool! Thanks Ruby

**Yang Xiao Long**

alright is everyone sorted with their costume

**Blake Belladonna**

Not me

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok no rush!

let me know when u decide

**Blake Belladonna**

Of course :)

***

**[Thursday 7:04 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

I'm down to Hecate, Persephone, or Circe. 

Thoughts?

**Yang Xiao Long**

circe’s not technically a god

but she does kick ass

**Blake Belladonna**

Consider her struck from the list

**Yang Xiao Long**

do u like pomegranates

**Blake Belladonna**

They’re alright

**Yang Xiao Long**

hm not sure you’ll be able to pull off persephone if ur not absolutely in love w pomegranates

**Blake Belladonna**

That leaves Hecate

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s pretty cool

sorcery

dark magic

neat lady

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you two personally acquainted?

**Yang Xiao Long**

not yet

but i can’t wait to meet her on halloween

i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for...acquainting 

**Blake Belladonna**

Speaking of

Acquainting

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeeeees?

**Blake Belladonna**

You remember our conversation the other day

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh huh

wait is this about the “resolving tension” thing

**Blake Belladonna**

No

**Yang Xiao Long**

mmkay

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you disappointed?

**Yang Xiao Long**

not at all

i’m still talking to u so

kind of impossible to be disappointed with that

what’s up 

**Blake Belladonna**

Sun helped me realize some things.

**Yang Xiao Long**

wym?

**Blake Belladonna**

How do I explain this

**Yang Xiao Long**

try words 😜

**Blake Belladonna**

Hm, good call :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok serious time. i await your words

**Blake Belladonna**

I thought I was trying to respectful of your pace, but I think I was sort of using it as an excuse

When I was at my old school, I was with someone. Actually, we started dating during my first week at the university.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ah yeah classic freshman orientation couples

that was coco and velvet, man

**Blake Belladonna**

He was a senior.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

um

hm

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah.

Back then, I was just flattered to have his attention.

The first year was okay. After he graduated, he asked me to live off campus with him and I didn’t really see a reason to say no. He started working at a cafe in town because he couldn’t get a political internship. After a few months he started getting angry a lot, and whenever I would come home he would just yell for an hour or two about how frustrated he was.

**Yang Xiao Long**

sounds like a real charmer

**Blake Belladonna**

Unfortunately, he was, outside of that. A lot of people at school still really looked up to him. When he was at school, he led two different social justice clubs.

He still came with me to parties, which wasn’t too unusual for recent graduates, but some people still thought it was strange

One night, he saw me talking to a girl outside the bathroom. She was a freshman, still in her first semester, and she was drunk and she’d lost her friends and her phone. I was just trying to help her, but all he saw was me touching someone else.

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit

**Blake Belladonna**

After that, things got worse. His venting turned into personal insults turned into breaking things, and I started staying over in my friend Ilia’s room more often. I finally ended it with him that spring

I was basically living in Ilia’s room by May. He found out somehow and broke into her dorm at two a.m. to try to take me back to the apartment

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy shit blake

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah

So after that I dropped out, took a year off and just traveled on my own. I didn’t even tell my parents where I was going

I was afraid if anybody knew where I was that he would find me

Then I ran into Sun in Vacuo the next summer and he suggested that I look into transferring here

**Yang Xiao Long**

whoa

that’s

**Blake Belladonna**

A lot, I know

**Yang Xiao Long**

so all that shit with this guy happened

and you took a year off to travel

and somehow you’re still on track to graduate on time?

**Blake Belladonna**

...Is that your takeaway here?

**Yang Xiao Long**

you went through some really fucked up stuff and you’re still kicking ass

that’s like, seriously brave, blake

**Blake Belladonna**

I wouldn’t say that

**Yang Xiao Long**

well i would

and i did

and i will again

ur super brave

and amazing

and also did i mention brave

also if i ever meet that guy i’m gonna punch his nose in so hard his toes fall off

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m not sure that’s how anatomy works...

Anyway

I haven’t dated until now

**Yang Xiao Long**

i see

**Blake Belladonna**

And I haven’t slept with anyone since.

Honestly it's a little daunting

**Yang Xiao Long**

that i can understand

so when you said you didn’t mind waiting

was that because you kind of wanted to?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes and no?

That doesn’t make sense, sorry

**Yang Xiao Long**

no it does

i feel the same way lol

it’s super scary letting someone in like that

probably especially after being in a terrible relationship

**Blake Belladonna**

Thanks for listening.

I know that was intense

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m always here

for intense stuff or dumb jokes 💛

**Blake Belladonna**

💜

So what do we do? About...things?

**Yang Xiao Long**

babe i’ve waited 22 years

i could not have sex all night long ;)

**Blake Belladonna**

Ridiculous and sweet strikes again

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know it

hey

wanna come over and not get it on?

**Blake Belladonna**

I wish I could

Reviewing for a quiz tomorrow

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll help u

**Blake Belladonna**

Will you? :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes, actually

what else are we gonna do?

not bang, that’s for sure

**Blake Belladonna**

Be over in 10

***

**[Thursday 9:12 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

How do you feel about PDA?

**Ruby Rose**

Idk? Sort of outdated I guess

**Weiss Schnee**

Really? I think it's fairly common.

**Ruby Rose**

I guess they can be useful though?

**Weiss Schnee**

I suppose, if you’re trying to get some creep to leave you alone.

In my experience, they don’t always get the hint. Or take it seriously.

**Ruby Rose**

I guess if I had one I would pretend I was talking to someone

But why would you need a PDA when we all have phones?

Oooh is it like a fancy rich person thing

**Weiss Schnee**

What are you talking about?

**Ruby Rose**

PDAs?

Isn’t that what you asked about?

**Weiss Schnee**

Public Displays of Affection.

Not Personal Digital Assistants.

**Ruby Rose**

OHHHH

Heh

**Weiss Schnee**

You dolt. <3

PDA: such as, but not limited to, flirting in group chats

**Ruby Rose**

Um

Idk I guess it’s a little weird for me?

Like I don’t want all my friends watching

I’m bad enough at flirting without an audience ^^;

**Weiss Schnee**

Agreed.

Not saying you’re bad at flirting. I am.

Bad at flirting, that is.

**Ruby Rose**

Sounds like we’re on the same page about the PDA then!!

This whole dating thing is a lot easier than I thought it would be hehe

**Weiss Schnee**

Glad you think so.

:)

**Ruby Rose**

GASP

WEISS

A SMILEY???

**Weiss Schnee**

I have a lot to smile about these days.

**Ruby Rose**

😊😊😊😊

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ me: let blake and yang be happy
> 
> also me: but what if we............................angst
> 
> we're entering act three here y'all, get ready to PARTY
> 
> love u <3


	14. how long are we going to talk in questions?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weiss and Ruby hit a bit of a hurdle before their first date. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Nora and Ren push Jaune to confess his feelings. 
> 
> Blake and Yang are super gay and soft about it.

**[Friday 8:32 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang?

You forgot something...

**Yang Xiao Long**

what

SHIT did i not kiss u goodbye

**Blake Belladonna**

No, not that...

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur right that was a ridiculous guess

that’s the #1 thing on my morning to-do list

**Blake Belladonna**

Aww

**Yang Xiao Long**

😘

ok i’ve got my water bottle

keys

socks

wait no just one sock :(

false alarm! i have two

the other one came off inside my boot

**Blake Belladonna**

I feel like I should just tell you.

**Yang Xiao Long**

guessing is fun!

give me a clue

is it something important??

**Blake Belladonna**

Um

I think so?

[ProstheticArm.jpg]

**Yang Xiao Long**

LMAO

yeah it was feeling kind of uncomfortable today 

blisters u kno

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you already on campus?

**Yang Xiao Long**

halfway there

**Blake Belladonna**

Where’s your class? I can bring it up to you

**Yang Xiao Long**

williams

but it’s ok

it's a review day so i don't need to take notes

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you sure?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s fine! no need to go out of ur way

**Blake Belladonna**

I don’t mind, really

**Yang Xiao Long**

how about this

meet me halfway

and i’ll buy u breakfast at monty

the café there has the best croissants on campus

and THAT is the hill i will die on

**Blake Belladonna**

Don’t you have a class to get to?

**Yang Xiao Long**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

*(ツ)_/¯

i’m already late

plus like i said it's a review day for the test coming up

obviously i know everything already, so

**Blake Belladonna**

Alright

I’ll be there soon

Can I borrow a shirt?

**Yang Xiao Long**

of course, whichever u want

i get to see u again so soon

nice

**Blake Belladonna**

Nice

**Yang Xiao Long**

nice

😎

***

**[Friday 10:34 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

JAUNE

**Jaune Arc**

Yes Ruby

**Ruby Rose**

HELP MEEEE

**Jaune Arc**

What’s wrong???

**Ruby Rose**

Can you teach me how to be cool

**Jaune Arc**

Um

Probably not?

Why don’t you ask Blake?

**Ruby Rose**

Because she’s dating Yang and they’re in the same realm of cool

**Jaune Arc**

I’m really not sure why you’re asking me.

**Ruby Rose**

I’m just really nervous about tomorrow X(

**Jaune Arc**

I can’t believe you’re going out with Weiss

**Ruby Rose**

SEE THAT’S WHY I NEED HELP

WEISS IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN ME

And so that is why I need your help!!!

**Jaune Arc**

I’m not following.

**Ruby Rose**

If you can date Pyrrha, then I can date Weiss!

**Jaune Arc**

Pyrrha

And me?

Dating?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes????

**Jaune Arc**

Uhh, we aren’t

**Ruby Rose**

WHAAAAT

**Jaune Arc**

How could *I* ever date Pyrrha Nikos???

**Ruby Rose**

JAUNE

This is the worst pep talk ever!!!

AhhhHHHhhhhHH tomorrow is going to be a disaster TT_TT

**Jaune Arc**

...Does that emoticon have four eyes?

**Ruby Rose**

Yes because it’s so sad it had to grow extra eyes to cry from!!!

8’’(

***

**[Friday 8:09 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Winter Schnee**

Weiss. I have news. Please contact me at your convenience.

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s going on?

**Winter Schnee**

My next deployment is going to be sooner than expected.

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh. When?

**Winter Schnee**

November 1st.

**Weiss Schnee**

WHAT? But that’s in a week!

I was really hoping you’d be home for the holidays this year...

**Winter Schnee**

I can’t say I was expecting such sentimentality.

Father seemed rather disappointed as well.

**Weiss Schnee**

Does this mean I won’t see you until the summer?

**Winter Schnee**

Now that you mention it, I may be able to accommodate a rendezvous before my departure.

You have no classes on the weekends, correct?

**Weiss Schnee**

Don’t you leave next Sunday?

**Winter Schnee**

There is an entire weekend available between then and now.

**Weiss Schnee**

Wait, you mean tomorrow? This weekend??

I’d love to see you, Winter! I’m having dinner with a friend tomorrow, but otherwise my schedule is open.

**Winter Schnee**

Ah, wonderful. I would be remiss not to take the opportunity to acquaint myself with your friends.

**Weiss Schnee**

...You want to come to dinner?

**Winter Schnee**

I’m sure your friend wouldn’t object to having their meal covered.

**Weiss Schnee**

That's very kind, but you really don’t have to do that.

Do you remember Ruby?

**Winter Schnee**

What kind of older sister would I be if I failed to recall my sibling’s closest friend since early childhood?

Is she still...shrill?

**Weiss Schnee**

Among her many other charms, yes.

**Winter Schnee**

Hm.

Regardless, I insist you bring her along. Perhaps she’ll be a little less withholding in regards to discussing your well-being.

I’ll see the both of you tomorrow evening. Now I shall take my leave. My flight departs in three hours and I must prepare.

**Weiss Schnee**

You already booked it??

**Winter Schnee**

Is your question mark key malfunctioning? It’s sending multiples.

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s perfectly fine.

See you soon!

***

**[Friday 10:24 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Can I ask you something?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh blake

sweet, innocent, unsuspecting blake

**Blake Belladonna**

What...

**Yang Xiao Long**

by asking if you could ask me something, you’ve activated my level 5 dad joke...

YOU JUST DID

[GalaxyBrain.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

🤦🏻

That’s at best a level 2 dad joke. I know you can do better.

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s more of a comment

but i accept all feedback

what’s ur question? :D

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s kind of personal

**Yang Xiao Long**

we share a bed like 3 nights a week

i think we’re at “personal”

**Blake Belladonna**

We should probably talk about that, actually

Set boundaries

**Yang Xiao Long**

boundaries are great

but first, your mysterious question

**Blake Belladonna**

I wanted to ask about your arm.

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh

**Blake Belladonna**

If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine

More than fine, even.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i am more than fine, even, with talking about it

**Blake Belladonna**

I don’t want to interrogate you or anything. 

**Yang Xiao Long**

then how about we trade questions?

**Blake Belladonna**

Hm

**Yang Xiao Long**

or not

you can just ask me stuff if u want

ur a talented library assistant and i am an open book

**Blake Belladonna**

How fortunate.

Alright, let’s trade

If anything makes you uncomfortable, tell me, okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i will

same goes for you

**Blake Belladonna**

Okay.

What happened? How did you get your prosthetic?

**Yang Xiao Long**

technically two questions, but i’ll allow it

**Blake Belladonna**

How generous of you :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

car accident

i was like 10

and just so u don’t have to waste a q later

no that is not how my mom died

**Blake Belladonna**

Okay

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m sorry, I don’t really know what to say

**Yang Xiao Long**

most people make this annoying face when i tell them

it’s SO obvious they’re just thinking “oh poor kid”

so ur doing way better already

but honestly it didn’t like, ruin my life or anything

it was weird at first and i had to do a lot of physical therapy stuff

but while i was growing i got to decorate each of my new prosthetics, so that was fun

**Blake Belladonna**

Did you do this one, too?

**Yang Xiao Long**

hell yeah, spray paint in the backyard

ruby helped me pick out the colors

**Blake Belladonna**

I like them. They’re very you.

**Yang Xiao Long**

😊

ok you’ve asked like a thousand questions in a row

so my turn

can i ask something about your ears?

**Blake Belladonna**

I think that’s technically a question... :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

i love ur sass

is that a no on the ears then

**Blake Belladonna**

No, it's not. Go ahead

**Yang Xiao Long**

do they get super waxy??

**Blake Belladonna**

What?

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know, like

waxy

blake?

**Blake Belladonna**

Sorry, I was laughing too hard to type

Nobody’s asked me that before

Usually they ask if they can touch them, if they bother to ask at all

Most people just go for it

**Yang Xiao Long**

ugh that’s like when people randomly touch my hair

i mean i know it’s not the same as ur ears, but i feel a similar annoyance

like, stop?? u wouldn’t go up to a stranger and just start petting their arm, so why is hair or ears any different??

**Blake Belladonna**

Exactly!

Personal space

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

ugh

why

**Blake Belladonna**

This is a weird question to answer

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha sorry

**Blake Belladonna**

Only because I don’t really think about it

I guess I just sort of clean them in the shower?

**Yang Xiao Long**

so u don’t have to spend twice as much on q-tips

**Blake Belladonna**

No, Yang. I don’t have to spend twice as much on q-tips.

**Yang Xiao Long**

that’s a relief

i mean it must be, for you

ok ur turn

**Blake Belladonna**

Let me think...

***

**[Friday 10:37 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Um, Ruby?

**Ruby Rose**

Hi Weiss!! What’s up??

**Weiss Schnee**

I have to tell you something.

**Ruby Rose**

Okay?

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s nothing bad, I promise.

You remember my sister, Winter?

**Ruby Rose**

Of course!!! She’s so cool

And a little bit mean

But mostly cool

**Weiss Schnee**

...Yes.

She’s getting deployed again soon, so she’s coming to visit me tomorrow.

**Ruby Rose**

Ah yay!

Not about the deployment, that’s not great D:

But yay for the visit?

**Weiss Schnee**

She likely won’t be in any danger where she’s going. Vacuo is far from hostile territory.

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.

Anyway, she wants to have dinner tomorrow.

**Ruby Rose**

Oh okay! We can reschedule if you want

**Weiss Schnee**

She wants to see you as well.

**Ruby Rose**

Aha

This is gonna be suuuuper awkward isn’t it

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m afraid so.

Just so you know, I haven’t told her about my recent...revelations.

**Ruby Rose**

I understand Weiss <3

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you, Ruby.

**Ruby Rose**

So what should I wear to our sort-of-first-date that will now be third wheeled by your definitely scary older sister?

**Weiss Schnee**

I recommend clothes.

**Ruby Rose**

WAS THAT A JOKE

**Weiss Schnee**

Why is everyone so surprised that I have a sense of humor?

**Ruby Rose**

Probably because you’re related to Winter

**Weiss Schnee**

...Fair.

***

**[Friday 10:43 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Okay got one

**Yang Xiao Long**

shoot

**Blake Belladonna**

Can you text with the prosthetic?

**Yang Xiao Long**

not really

i’ve just gotten really good with my left hand

...that’s not a sex joke i swear

**Blake Belladonna**

Haha.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i take serious conversations very seriously

didn’t u know?

ah shoot i blew my question on being a dick

your turn again

**Blake Belladonna**

If you insist.

Your hair

**Yang Xiao Long**

one of my favorite topics

**Blake Belladonna**

When did you last get it cut?

**Yang Xiao Long**

sixteen years ago

**Blake Belladonna**

Really?

**Yang Xiao Long**

really

**Blake Belladonna**

You haven’t had a haircut since you were six

**Yang Xiao Long**

nope

honestly i couldn’t even get one if i wanted to

i’m banned from every barber shop and salon in Vale

**Blake Belladonna**

Now you must be joking.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok, i’m only banned from the ones back home in patch

**Blake Belladonna**

What happened?

**Yang Xiao Long**

my dad took 6 year old me in for my first haircut

(i managed to put it off for a solid 2 years longer than he wanted)

but when the knots got so bad that he couldn’t comb them out anymore he made me go

i was in full-on temper tantrum mode the whole walk there

definitely kicked him in the balls at least three times

long story short they thought scented candles would help me relax for some reason

good thing they had fire insurance

**Blake Belladonna**

Wow

So you became an arsonist at age 6

**Yang Xiao Long**

technically u can’t prove that

and neither could the barber shop

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Blake Belladonna**

That’s quite the story

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u impressed?

[EyebrowWaggle.gif]

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you sure you want to use your question on that? :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

depends, will i like the answer?

**Blake Belladonna**

You think you’re clever, don’t you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

do you disagree?

**Blake Belladonna**

Can I ask a follow up?

**Yang Xiao Long**

would i dream of stopping you?

**Blake Belladonna**

How come you’ve never told me you don’t like having your hair touched?

**Yang Xiao Long**

want to take a guess?

**Blake Belladonna**

Do you secretly hate when I do it and are you planning to set my room on fire as revenge?

**Yang Xiao Long**

do u really think i’m that devious?

**Blake Belladonna**

Aren’t you? :P

**Yang Xiao Long**

how long are we going to talk in questions?

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you going to answer my follow up?

**Yang Xiao Long**

which one?

**Blake Belladonna**

How come you don’t mind when I touch your hair?

**Yang Xiao Long**

easy

because it’s you

**Blake Belladonna**

You broke the questions streak

**Yang Xiao Long**

i did, didn’t i?

**Blake Belladonna**

So you really don’t mind?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i like it when it’s you

so please

keep doing it

**Blake Belladonna**

Noted.

**Yang Xiao Long**

and uh

when we’re doing stuff?

you don’t have to be gentle with it

**Blake Belladonna**

Also noted.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i can’t think of any more questions

**Blake Belladonna**

Me neither.

Honestly I’m a little distracted now...

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey i thought of one!

come over tomorrow?

u can touch my hair all u want

**Blake Belladonna**

Now there’s a bribe that’s impossible to pass up.

**Yang Xiao Long**

hehe

ok

i’m gonna sleep

goodnight blake 💛

**Blake Belladonna**

Goodnight darling 💜

***

**[Saturday 2:32 p.m.]**

**[PRNJ (4 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

Jaune Francis Arc

**Jaune Arc**

That’s not my middle name...

**Nora Valkyrie**

Jaune Primrose Arc

**Jaune Arc**

Still not it

**Lie Ren**

pretty, though

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah, I kinda like it? 

**Nora Valkyrie**

If you don’t ask Pyrrha out in the next 24 hours

I’m doing it for you

**Jaune Arc**

WHY WOULD YOU SEND THAT TO THE GROUP CHAT

**Nora Valkyrie**

Relax, she’s not gonna see it

Until Monday morning

When her screen ban is up

At which point she WILL see it

Plus I need Ren here to back me up

**Jaune Arc**

Et tu, Ren?

**Lie Ren**

et me, jaune.

**Nora Valkyrie**

ET HE, JAUNE

Your timer has started

23 hours and 58 minutes

May I recommend hanging a banner in the cafeteria

**Jaune Arc**

I can’t do it

**Lie Ren**

if turnaround time is your concern, nora already has one printed.

**Nora Valkyrie**

I do!

[ILoveYouPyrrhaBanner.jpg]

**Jaune Arc**

I meant I can’t ask her out.

...How long have you had that?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I don’t see how that’s relevant right now

**Lie Ren**

jaune, why do you think she’ll turn you down?

**Jaune Arc**

More like, why wouldn’t she?

**Nora Valkyrie**

BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU

**Jaune Arc**

Nora, don’t joke like that. It’s mean.

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’M NOT

Hnnnnnnnnnnng

23 hours 56 minutes Jaune

Or I ask Pyrrha out myself

**Lie Ren**

wait, what?

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

***

**[Saturday 5:37 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

remember

if u need to escape the world’s weirdest pre-first date dinner

just call me

**Ruby Rose**

Uuuuuuggggghhhhhh

Does this even count as a date anymore???

**Yang Xiao Long**

probably not the dinner with her sister part

but i assume you’re going to hang out after

if u know what i mean

**Ruby Rose**

GROSS YANG

**Yang Xiao Long**

obviously i meant you’d go get milkshakes or something

u pervert

**Ruby Rose**

SHH

Ok I need help!!

Picking an outfit is SO HARD

**Yang Xiao Long**

what are ur options

**Ruby Rose**

I tried asking her but she just said “I recommend clothes”

**Yang Xiao Long**

my sweet ice princess made a joke?

and ur only telling me now?

**Ruby Rose**

Will Weiss be mad if I’m underdressed???

WILL WINTER BE MAD IF IM UNDERDRESSED

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u really worried about impressing winter?

she’s seen u drop an entire bowl of mac and cheese on the carpet

and then eat it

while crying

**Ruby Rose**

PLEASE DON’T REMIND ME

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok sis

let’s pull back out of this spiral for a sec

you’re two college kids eating at a ramen shop

and i doubt winter’s going to show up in her dress blues

**Ruby Rose**

Now she definitely will!!!

Just watch......

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby

weiss likes u

she is the last person on the planet who would let anybody else change her mind about important stuff

even winter

**Ruby Rose**

HmmmMMMmmMMmmm

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know i’m right

**Ruby Rose**

You are......

Okay I’m going to wear jeans and a nice sweater

**Yang Xiao Long**

i think that’s a great choice

**Ruby Rose**

How come you’re so good at dating :o

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol no idea

i guess i just go with the flow, u know?

when u love someone how can it possibly matter what they’re wearing

**Ruby Rose**

Blake could probably wear sweatpants for the rest of her life and you’d still make that dumb face whenever u look at her

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha yeah

she definitely could

wait

oH

**Ruby Rose**

???

**Yang Xiao Long**

just realized i’m in love with blake

**Ruby Rose**

AHHHHHHHHHH

**Yang Xiao Long**

gotta go

call me if u need me!

**Ruby Rose**

ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HER

YANG

ARE YOU TELLING HER RIGHT NOW

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*******

**[Saturday 7:21 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m so sorry.

This is even more awkward than I could have anticipated.

**Ruby Rose**

No it’s fine!!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

You don’t have to pretend.

**Ruby Rose**

I’m not!!!!!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

The quantity of exclamation points you’re using begs to differ.

**Ruby Rose**

No it doesn’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby.

**Ruby Rose**

OKay maybe it is a little weird

**Weiss Schnee**

It’s a lot weird.

**Ruby Rose**

Why is she asking me about your eating habits???

**Weiss Schnee**

I have no idea.

I’m sorry.

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss it’s ok!! Really

At least now we have a really funny first date story :D

**Weiss Schnee**

I suppose so.

**Ruby Rose**

Do you want to get milkshakes or something after?

(Not with Winter)

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s an idea.

**Ruby Rose**

A good idea?

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes. A very good idea.

**Ruby Rose**

Okay!!

I have one more question

Can I hold your hand?

Not now but later

Oh :o

You’re holding MY hand

Aren’t you worried Winter will notice?

**Weiss Schnee**

Let her.

***

**[Saturday 8:32 p.m.]**

**[PRNJ (4 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

18 HOURS JAUNE

**Jaune Arc**

Ren I will pay you to hide her phone

**Lie Ren**

my rate is far too high.

**Jaune Arc**

I do not need hourly reminders...

**Nora Valkyrie**

Clearly you DO

Because you’re SLACKING on your PLAN

And I KNOW you work best with a HARD DEADLINE

**Jaune Arc**

You’re making this very stressful

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU’RE STRESSED?!

Do you have any idea how much MY blood pressure goes up watching you two tiptoe around your feelings in the clumsiest romantic Chicken Dance of all time

**Lie Ren**

if you’re going to move on to a waltz, one of you needs to reach out a hand.

**Jaune Arc**

As poetic as that is, Ren, I really think you guys are misreading all of this

Have you met Pyrrha? She’s the strongest, bravest, kindest person ever

She's in her own galaxy of amazing

**Nora Valkyrie**

PLEASE JUST FJKJCKNFKGIN TELL HER THAT

ASK HER TO THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

DO SOMETHING

**Jaune Arc**

I’m not going to embarrass her by putting her in a position where she has to shoot me down in front of the entire lunchroom.

That’s not fair to her.

**Lie Ren**

alright. nora, i think we should let this be.

**Nora Valkyrie**

You mean let it

Lie

**Lie Ren**

...

**Nora Valkyrie**

UGH FINE

I will steal Pyrrha’s phone at fight club brunch tomorrow

And delete all of these messages before she sees them

**Jaune Arc**

Thank you.

**Nora Valkyrie**

I will also change her background to a picture of my nostrils

**Lie Ren**

again?

**Nora Valkyrie**

:)))))

***

**[Saturday 8:48 p.m.]**

**[RWBY Apartment Chat]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake and i are sleeping at my apartment

**Weiss Schnee**

Surprise, surprise.

And we need to know this why?

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey

i’m trying to be subtle

**buby**

Subtle about what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

u know

if u guys wanna keep ur date going after dinner

**buby**

We already are!!

[WeissAndMilkshake.jpg]

**Yang Xiao Long**

shit that milkshake’s huge

weiss if u finish that u will officially be strong enough to date my sister

**Weiss Schnee**

As if I need your approval.

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t u tho

**Weiss Schnee**

Please stop talking.

**buby**

[RedVelvetCakeShake.jpg]

MINE HAS AN ENTIRE PIECE OF CAKE ON IT

**Yang Xiao Long**

i stand corrected weiss

if u can survive ruby’s incoming sugar high from that monstrosity, THEN u will be strong enough to date her

**Weiss Schnee**

I think I can handle it.

**Blake Belladonna**

Weiss, you have your key, right?

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course.

**Yang Xiao Long**

gr9

we’re gonna go watch a movie now bye

**buby**

WAIT YANG DID YOU TELL HER

**Blake Belladonna**

Tell me what?

**buby**

OH NO

NEVER MIND

I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID ANYTHING

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang, do you have something to confess?

**Yang Xiao Long**

as a matter of fact, i do 

i’ve been in love with weiss for years

**Blake Belladonna**

I knew it

**Yang Xiao Long**

sorry for leading u on

the ice queen owns my heart

**Blake Belladonna**

This cruel betrayal will haunt me forever

**Weiss Schnee**

I will block you both. In real life.

**Yang Xiao Long**

lmao

**Blake Belladonna**

She told me, Ruby.

**buby**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Weiss Schnee**

Told you what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

bye weiss

i love u

**Weiss Schnee**

Told you what???

**Blake Belladonna**

Bye Weiss

I love you

**[Yang Xiao Long left the group.]**

**[Blake Belladonna left the group.]**

**Weiss Schnee**

UGH

**buby**

eheheh

...Can I finish your milkshake

**Weiss Schnee**

For your own safety as much as mine, please don’t.

***

**[Sunday 10:23 a.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHERE’S PYRRHA

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk she’s not here yet

**Nora Valkyrie**

FKDFJKFFKNGKGJKCN

***

**[Sunday 10:25 a.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

WANTED: PYRRHA NIKOS

PANCAKE REWARD FOR INFORMATION ON WHEREABOUTS

**Jaune Arc**

She’s not in the cafeteria.

**Ruby Rose**

Isn’t she coming to brunch??

**Weiss Schnee**

I certainly hope she’s not planning on kickboxing today.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Don’t worry, Weiss. I’m not. :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re back!

**Nora Valkyrie**

NO WHY ARE YOU BACK

**Yang Xiao Long**

what the fuck nora??

**Pyrrha Nikos**

The trainer cleared me for screen use yesterday.

**Sun Wukong**

Hey I found her!

Shes swiping into the caf

**Weiss Schnee**

Jaune, what kind of lookout are you?

**Jaune Arc**

How exactly am I supposed to see the front door from the quiet room?

Ren’s here too. He didn’t see her either

**Lie Ren**

it’s true, i didn’t

**Weiss Schnee**

A valid argument. I rescind my criticism.

**Jaune Arc**

Wow. That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

**Nora Valkyrie**

PYRRHA YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT YANG’S

NOT USING YOUR PHONE

IT’S PANCAKE O’CLOCK

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’ll be there soon! I need to take care of something first.

**Yang Xiao Long**

we’ll save u some batter

if blake doesn’t eat it all

**Blake Belladonna**

No promises

**Lie Ren**

hey, nora?

you don’t need to worry about stealing pyrrha’s phone.

**Nora Valkyrie**

???????

**Lie Ren**

[PyrrhaKissingJaune.jpg]

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

**Ruby Rose**

!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

get it

**Weiss Schnee**

Don't be so crass.

Give them some privacy, would you?

**Neptune Vasilias**

I mean, they’re making out in the middle of the lunchroom...

**Blake Belladonna**

Does this mean we can cook the rest of the pancakes?

I assume they’ll be busy for a while.

**Sun Wukong**

If you guys have extra can I come over? :0D

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya

**Blake Belladonna**

No.

**Sun Wukong**

:0(

**Jaune Arc**

So yeah...she read everything I wrote in our other group chat.

**Nora Valkyrie**

EEEEEEEEEEEE

**Lie Ren**

^seconded.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m on my way, Yang. :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t give me that innocent little smiley face

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pyrrha Nikos, Queen of Big Romantic Gestures!!!

💖💖💖

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi she-ra season 3 destroyed me so i had no choice but to find solace in absurdity and fluff
> 
> i'm on tumblr posting about gay shit @somnambule-plus!
> 
> love u all <3


	15. the ghostiversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora and Ren's channel takes off thanks to a certain Schnee. Yang and Blake's relationship hits a little speed bump commonly known as "emotions." 
> 
> Meanwhile, Ruby plots her favorite pre-Halloween holiday.

**[Sunday 3:31 p.m.]**

**[CHATEAU DE NORA (10 members)]**

**[Nora Valkyrie changed the group name to “RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!!”]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

i am hereby reclaiming this castle in the name of ME

and also ren

**Lie Ren**

:)

**Yang Xiao Long**

500 thousand???

**Ruby Rose**

HOW?!?!?

**Nora Valkyrie**

weeeeeeeeeeell........

hit ‘em ren

**Lie Ren**

[WhatsThatSupposedToMean.mov]

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy

shit

**Ruby Rose**

SIX MILLION VIEWS??????????

**Yang Xiao Long**

does **@Weiss Schnee** know about this

**Weiss Schnee**

Do I know about what?

**Nora Valkyrie**

:)))

**Yang Xiao Long**

watch the video

**Blake Belladonna**

...

**Ruby Rose**

.........

**Yang Xiao Long**

3

**Sun Wukong**

2

**Neptune Vasilias**

1

**Weiss Schnee**

YOU REMIXED ME??!!?!?

**Nora Valkyrie**

and obviously you’re honored

**Blake Belladonna**

Nora, you might want to turn off your location

**Nora Valkyrie**

why would i do THAT

how will ren know where to surprise me with snacks that he thinks i'm not expecting

**Blake Belladonna**

Weiss just stormed out of our apartment.

I think she broke one of the hinges on the front door

**Yang Xiao Long**

nora where r u

i refuse to miss this

**Nora Valkyrie**

Too late, I’ve climbed a tree

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, ICE QUEEN

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Please be careful!

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss I’m sorry 

But this video is so funny 

**Weiss Schnee**

Nora. Valkyrie.

Get down.

Now.

**Nora Valkyrie**

MAKE ME

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss just threw her phone at nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

REN I NEED BACKUP

**Lie Ren**

i’m halfway through the very busy cafe line

which do you want more: backup or a chocolate muffin

**Nora Valkyrie**

UGH YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I WANT MORE

**Lie Ren**

💖

**Nora Valkyrie**

💖

Yang you’re my backup now

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m an impartial third party

invested solely in letting this unfold organically

and filming the whole thing

**Ruby Rose**

...Is your phone okay, Weiss?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh no it’s *super* broken

***

**[Sunday 3:48 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Whitley Schnee**

Weiss. I’ve just seen a very disturbing video clip online titled “ATTENTION SCHNEEPLE: WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN (REMIX).” Father is furious with this absolutely shocking slander of our family’s name. Call him immediately.

***

**[Sunday 3:49 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss is now taking off her shoes

there they go

duck nora

**Nora Valkyrie**

WHERE

**Yang Xiao Long**

not a real duck

ooh......ouch

**Pyrrha Nikos**

What happened?

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss has freakishly good aim

**Blake Belladonna**

Nora’s out of the tree

**Jaune Arc**

Did she fall??

**Blake Belladonna**

Sort of...

**Yang Xiao Long**

she went full flying squirrel

and cannonball tackled weiss

[FlyingNoraBomb.mov]

**Ruby Rose**

Ooooooh are they okay?? :o

**Jaune Arc**

How many of us are going to get concussions this term?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I WIN

KNOCKOUT

PERFECT VICTORY

**Ruby Rose**

Weiss is unconscious????

**Blake Belladonna**

She’s fine

**Yang Xiao Long**

except for the rage

**Blake Belladonna**

And the bruised ego

**Yang Xiao Long**

and the bruised elbows

**Lie Ren**

nora, darling, they’re out of chocolate muffins.

pyrrha bought the last one

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU BETRAYED ME???!!!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I’m sorry! I was ahead of Ren in line and didn’t see you wanted one :(

We can split it!

**Nora Valkyrie**

This is now a hollow victory 

**Jaune Arc**

Don’t you mean...a Pyrrhic victory

**Ruby Rose**

ehehehe

**Yang Xiao Long**

nice

***

**[Sunday 6:57 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Ayy you stopping by MMK tonight??

Its NOODLE NIGHT

**Blake Belladonna**

Again?

**Sun Wukong**

Okay I kind of forgot to plan something

And the noodle place delivers fast

Want anything?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m eating with Yang, sorry

**Sun Wukong**

Whoa hey dont apologize

How is all that by the way

**Blake Belladonna**

Fine

**Sun Wukong**

Is something wrong?

**Blake Belladonna**

No. I said it’s fine

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah but usually you get all gushy when someone even mentions Yang

**Blake Belladonna**

What? No I don’t.

**Sun Wukong**

You totally do

Gushy for you being a 5+ word text

**Blake Belladonna**

>_>

**Sun Wukong**

Did she do something dumb?

Ill fight her

**Blake Belladonna**

Really?

**Sun Wukong**

Okay Ill call Ilia to come fight her

What happened Blake

Im worried :0(

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang said she loves me

**Sun Wukong**

Alright

Is this a bad thing?

Im super lost

Didnt you say you were falling in love with her?

**Blake Belladonna**

I didn’t say that

**Sun Wukong**

But you accidentally implied it

Wait

Did you say it back??

**Blake Belladonna**

...

**Sun Wukong**

B l a k e

Did you *want* to say it back?

**Blake Belladonna**

I don’t know

**Sun Wukong**

Okay

I get the whole fear of intimacy thing

And the trust issues

Man thats a lot of issues

**Blake Belladonna**

😒

**Sun Wukong**

That came out super wrong

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh, did it?

**Sun Wukong**

She loves you and you love her

How is that a problem?

Whats the worst that could happen?

...Blake?

**Blake Belladonna**

_[Read 7:12 pm]_

***

**[Monday 4:21 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

guys i need help

**Nora Valkyrie**

Where’s the body

**Yang Xiao Long**

i

there’s no body

**Nora Valkyrie**

Good work

Next we need to come up with an alibi

You were with me all night

Our torrid affair was bound to come out eventually

**Yang Xiao Long**

why have you thought this out

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

What’s going on, Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s about blake

**Nora Valkyrie**

WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re the one who weirdly assumed it was somehow murder related

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I have to run to soccer in a minute, sorry!

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok ok

i told blake i love her

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

That’s so exciting!! :)

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

**Yang Xiao Long**

she didn’t say it back

**Nora Valkyrie**

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

:(

**Yang Xiao Long**

i told her she didn’t have to

but it was weird

she looked, like, scared when i said it

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Love can be scary.

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah i guess

obviously i wouldn’t want her to say it if she didn’t mean it

**Nora Valkyrie**

Here’s the thing though

She’s absolutely bananas in love with you

So what’s going on 🤔🤔🤔

**Yang Xiao Long**

like i said, i need help

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I’m not sure we’re the ones you really need to talk to about this.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Wise as always

**Yang Xiao Long**

i don’t want to scare her off

no one likes having intense conversations all the time

including me

plus i don’t want to pressure her

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

You could try giving her space for a few days, let her think things through on her end

Then ask?

**Yang Xiao Long**

aw we had plans tomorrow night :/

**Nora Valkyrie**

When DON’T you have plans

You guys are MARRIED

**Yang Xiao Long**

when’s the last time you showered in your own apartment

**Nora Valkyrie**

What’s your point YANG

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I don’t mean you have to cancel your plans! Maybe just keep it light.

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s not like we spend every single day together

but i like being around her, you know?

**Nora Valkyrie**

In the words of your sister, GROSS

***

**[Tuesday 8:22 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

Hello sister Yang

**Yang Xiao Long**

uh

hi?

why’d you make me sound like a nun

**Ruby Rose**

Ehehehe

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s up ruby

**Ruby Rose**

Just wanted to confirm that we will be having lunch tomorrow on Wednesday as usual

In the lunchroom

Where the food lives

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re acting weird

**Ruby Rose**

YOU’RE WEIRD

Speaking of our apartment

**Yang Xiao Long**

we were not

**Ruby Rose**

Will you be sleeping there

After we have lunch in the lunchroom where the lunch is

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg how much sugary cereal did u eat this morning

**Ruby Rose**

:)))

**Yang Xiao Long**

wait why do u need to know where i'm sleeping

is weiss staying over  **😏😏😏**

**Ruby Rose**

EW WE JUST STARTED DATING

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes i will be in my own bed tomorrow

i’m giving blake some space

**Ruby Rose**

Is everything ok??

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah it’s all good

probably

maybe

we had dinner last night and it was kinda weird

i’ll fill u in at lunch

**Ruby Rose**

Okay sounds good bye!!!~

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur banned from the cocoa puffs

**Ruby Rose**

NOO

***

**[Wednesday 10:17 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Are you awake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ya

what’s up?

**Blake Belladonna**

Not much

**Yang Xiao Long**

same

**Blake Belladonna**

Can we talk?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah of course

**Blake Belladonna**

I’ve been thinking

**Yang Xiao Long**

you do a lot of that :P

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m sorry

**Yang Xiao Long**

are u apologizing for thinking?

**Blake Belladonna**

No

Well, yes

I think I’ve been thinking too much

And I know you’ve been giving me space, so thank you

**Yang Xiao Long**

no problem babe

like i said, i can be a lot

so i get it

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s not you.

It’s me.

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake

you’re kinda scaring me

**Blake Belladonna**

Ugh I’m sorry

I know what this sounds like and I promise it’s not that

Can we do this in person?

**Yang Xiao Long**

okay

do you want to come over?

**Blake Belladonna**

Is that okay?

**Yang Xiao Long**

always

i sleep better with you

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah, me too.

**Yang Xiao Long**

you also sleep better with you? 

**Blake Belladonna**

You know what I meant...

***

**[Thursday 12:06 a.m.]**

**[RWBY Apartment Chat (4 members)]**

**buby**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby it’s fine

**buby**

IT’S NOT FINE FOR ME

HOW DO I BLEACH MY BRAIN

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s going on? Is there an emergency?

**Blake Belladonna**

You got a new phone already?

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course. I purchased the most expensive one I could fine online and paid an absolutely outlandish fee for expedited shipping.

**Yang Xiao Long**

but why

there’s a store like 10 minutes from campus

**Weiss Schnee**

If I don’t spend all of my father’s questionably “earned” money, who will?

...Is there an emergency or not?

**Blake Belladonna**

No

Ruby walked in on us

**Yang Xiao Long**

rip ghost ruby once again

**buby**

IT WAS HORRIBLE

**Yang Xiao Long**

ur just lucky we were both wearing pants

**buby**

WHAT HAPPENED TO SPACE

**Blake Belladonna**

I missed her 

**buby**

Aww ^^ 

**Weiss Schnee**

This is all very sweet

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg i think she's melting...

**Weiss Schnee**

But if you wake me up in the middle of the night for such a ridiculous reason again I will set your couch on fire.

**Yang Xiao Long**

false alarm, ice queen's still frozen solid

**buby**

GASP

Weiss you wouldn’t!!

I sit on that couch a lot and so do you!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

wow i can’t believe i forgot the ghostiversary was today

**Weiss Schnee**

The what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

remember that time ruby tried to scare me 

but she faceplanted a thousand times

**buby**

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS BACKFIRE ON ME!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Because it’s a terrible prank.

**buby**

D:

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s the best prank in the world

hilarious every time

never ever stop doing it

now i must go do something very, very important

**Weiss Schnee**

Please don’t elaborate.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m going to sleep, weiss

u pervert

***

**[Friday 1:51 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

last call for snack requests

weiss are we still on for target

**Weiss Schnee**

Of course.

Who else is going to stop you from blowing the entire party budget on overpriced seasonal Oreos?

**Ruby Rose**

Pleeeeeeease buy some overpriced seasonal Oreos!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

You’re coming along, aren’t you?

**Ruby Rose**

Ehehe do you want me to?

**Weiss Schnee**

Obviously.

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss i don’t understand why u hate seeing people flirt in group chats

it's so entertaining

**Nora Valkyrie**

DON’T

FORGET

THE WEED 

🌿🌿🌿🌿

**Yang Xiao Long**

i would never

**Sun Wukong**

Have you seen the event page??

**Yang Xiao Long**

i checked it on monday

when we hit 69 rsvps 😎

**Blake Belladonna**

Nice

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg

**Blake Belladonna**

💛

**Jaune Arc**

...We're at 114 

**Neptune Vasilias**

Whoa!

Lit

**Yang Xiao Long**

FUCK

that’s a lot of people

**Ruby Rose**

I don’t think our apartment’s big enough D:

**Pyrrha Nikos**

They probably won’t all show up!

**Lie Ren**

that’s true. i’d guess about 30 won't

**Nora Valkyrie**

And then 40 will come unannounced!

**Jaune Arc**

That seems excessive

**Nora Valkyrie**

I might have invited some people

By which I mean I made an announcement on my stat lecture email group

**Lie Ren**

which goes out to how many people?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Oh, you know

253

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Oh my.

**Weiss Schnee**

We made it an open event. What did you expect?

**Yang Xiao Long**

we’re gonna need a lot more oreos

**Ruby Rose**

YEEEEES

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are NUTS right now u guys, i'm moving in like 2 weeks and i have so many exciting real life writing projects going on!!! this is always a wonderful respite from the chaos. <3
> 
> this fic has like 2 chapters left and i'm sad about it!!
> 
> quick question: given the nature of this format, there are a bunch of scenes, especially between blake and yang, that i can't really *show* in text form because it would just be too weird and unbelievable. 
> 
> SO...would y'all be interested in me filling in the blanks? i'm thinking i would tack the extra scenes as extra chapters after the original fic and they would be more typical prose formats. let me know! 
> 
> love u all so much <3


	16. it'll be alright

**[Saturday 8:34 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

JAUNE

WHERE

IS

YOUR

COSTUME!!!!!

**Jaune Arc**

I’m wearing it?

**Lie Ren**

i think you and pyrrha both look wonderful.

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEAH YEAH THEY’RE CUTE IT’S GROSS I’M OVER IT

WHERE’S THE MAGIC LOVE BABY

**Pyrrha Nikos**

We figured it would be more fun to match!

**Ruby Rose**

Pyrrha I love your flower crown!!!!

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Thank you! :)

**Ruby Rose**

Jaune I like your leaf crown too but what are you supposed to be???

**Jaune Arc**

Oh, uh...Demeter’s unnamed human date, I guess?

**Ruby Rose**

I will henceforth refer to you as Anonymous Autumn Consort

**Pyrrha Nikos**

👅🍑

**Nora Valkyrie**

Pyrrha I am literally BEGGING you to stop using emojis

**Pyrrha Nikos**

But Peaches are a delicious early fall fruit!

**Nora Valkyrie**

ANYWAY

You both look spectacular

Thrilled you’re in love

It’s roof time, Ren my dead

DEAR*

**Ruby Rose**

I heard dead

You summoned me???

*Dramatic Hades entrance*

**Yang Xiao Long**

what happened to hephaestus

**Neptune Vasilias**

Yo you guys started smoking without us?

Not cool :P

**Sun Wukong**

Dont worry dude

I brought some backup

**Neptune Vasilias**

Knew I kept you around for a reason

**Sun Wukong**

My extreme charm

**Neptune Vasilias**

No doubt no doubt ;)

**Ruby Rose**

It’s not smoke!!!

Velvet wanted to be Hephaestus so I switched!! Plus this idea was TOO COOL not to use ^^

I made a belt pack fog machine for my costume so that I can activate it whenever I go into a new roooom

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Very impressive!

**Ruby Rose**

Engineering 301 babey 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby are you drunk already??

**Ruby Rose**

Nope

But sort of

Weiss is stuck at dinner with her dad and I’mmbored!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok come help me refill snacks

we’re going through chips like dad goes through cargo shorts

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Jaune and I can make a snack run if you need!

**Yang Xiao Long**

i know what that’s code for

**Neptune Vasilias**

Nice ;)

**Sun Wukong**

Nice 

**Yang Xiao Long**

nice

**Nora Valkyrie**

NICE

**Lie Ren**

nice

**Ruby Rose**

Nice

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby you do realize that was a sex reference

**Ruby Rose**

EW NO I DDINT

I just sawweverybody saying nice and didn’t wanna get left out

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok jaune pyrrha go get more chips and take ruby with you

**Jaune Arc**

Sure thing

**Ruby Rose**

Yay!!!! I LOVE TARGET

AND I LOVE ALL OF YOUUUU

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ll meet you at Target.

**Ruby Rose**

HI WEISS I LOVE YOU TOO

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t be alarmed, she’s kind of tipsy

**Pyrrha Nikos**

We can pick up something if you like, Weiss! No need to make the extra trip. :)

**Weiss Schnee**

I just called my father a bigoted fucktrumpet, stormed out of a five-star restaurant, withdrew the entirety of my savings, and officially told my sister that Ruby and I are together.

**Yang Xiao Long**

holy shit

**Weiss Schnee**

So if you don’t mind, I’m going to join you and purchase ten bottles of the most expensive champagne Target carries.

And kiss my girlfriend.

**Ruby Rose**

YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY THAT’S ME

**Nora Valkyrie**

It's $11

The champagne

**Lie Ren**

their sparkling cider is more expensive, actually

**Weiss Schnee**

Then I will purchase ten bottles of sparkling cider and whole shelf of Smirnoff to spike it with.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Weiss formerly known as Schnee

You are OFFICIALLY the life of this party

**Lie Ren**

that’s high praise indeed.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Hey, can you guys grab some more Gatorade?

**Sun Wukong**

And bananas

**Blake Belladonna**

What do you need bananas for?

**Sun Wukong**

Also Yang where’s your smoothie machine

**Yang Xiao Long**

SMOOTHIE MACHINE

WEISS I TOLD YOU

**Weiss Schnee**

Fuck your smoothie machine

I’m buying you a Vitamix

**Yang Xiao Long**

omg i’m actually in love with you

***

**[Saturday 9:57 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s wrong?

**Yang Xiao Long**

wym

are we out of chips again

**Weiss Schnee**

No. I bought out the store.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ve never respected u more

**Weiss Schnee**

Where’s Blake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

she’s around

yeah she’s out on the balcony with velvet

did you see her and coco’s costumes? fucking icons

**Weiss Schnee**

Why aren’t you with Blake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m hosting

i can’t spend the whole night bothering her

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh, you mean like you did at Ruby’s birthday?

**Yang Xiao Long**

what’s ur point

**Weiss Schnee**

I’ve been here for almost an hour. You two have barely spoken. If you don’t tell me what’s going on soon, I’m dragging both of you into a room and locking the door behind us.

**Yang Xiao Long**

kinky

**Weiss Schnee**

YANG.

What’s wrong?

**Yang Xiao Long**

nothing!

**Weiss Schnee**

Need I remind you that I spent no fewer than twenty-six minutes of this evening detailing just how pathetic my father’s obsession with his own reputation is?

Or that I read off a bulletpointed list of every reason my brother needs to grow a backbone and stop buying vests that are intentionally too tight on him?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i would literally kill to see that ted talk

**Weiss Schnee**

Lie to me again. I dare you

**Yang Xiao Long**

you’re scary when you’re confident and newly emancipated from your dickhead dad

**Weiss Schnee**

Did Blake do something?

Did YOU do something?

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s fine weiss

seriously

i’m handling it

**Weiss Schnee**

Handle it.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i just said i’m handling it

**Weiss Schnee**

THEN HANDLE IT

**Yang Xiao Long**

all these years and i never knew you were an angry drunk

**Weiss Schnee**

I haven’t had anything so far, but thank you for reminding me.

Where’s the tequila?

**Yang Xiao Long**

normally i’d be absolutely thrilled to tell you

but between you and ruby i’m pretty sure you guys need exactly 0 more drinks

**Weiss Schnee**

Found it.

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok clearly i’m gonna need to supervise this

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m a responsible adult, Yang.

What you really need to do is stop focusing on chips and address your own problems.

**Yang Xiao Long**

_[Read 10:08 pm]_

***

**[Saturday 10:19 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Ruby Rose**

Announcement to everyone the party is now expanding to Weiss and Blake’s apartment!!!

**Blake Belladonna**

It is?

**Weiss Schnee**

It is.

Don’t worry, Blake. I’ve already locked our bedrooms and hired a cleaning company to come in tomorrow morning.

**Blake Belladonna**

Then by all means

**Ruby Rose**

It’s a 10 minute walk but very very worth it!!!!

Weiss is going to open the suuuuper old bottle of scotch her dad gave her when she started college

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m pouring the whole thing down the drain.

**Sun Wukong**

Woo! Go Weiss!

**Neptune Vasilias**

We are 100% on our way

**Ruby Rose**

Yang can you post in the event page???

**Yang Xiao Long**

i guess?

**Nora Valkyrie**

I GOT THIS

**Jaune Arc**

“At 10:30 p.m., Weiss Schnee will sever all ties with her absolute twat-walnut of a father by shotgunning an entire bottle of whiskey”

I think you might have taken some artistic liberties with the details...

**Nora Valkyrie**

Perhaps

***

**[Saturday 10:26 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Ay where you at?

**Blake Belladonna**

The party

**Sun Wukong**

Where??

I dont see you D^:

**Blake Belladonna**

Kitchen.

**Sun Wukong**

Uh Im in the kitchen and youre definitely not here

Wait are you still at Yangs?

**Blake Belladonna**

Yeah

**Sun Wukong**

OHH

Im at your house lol

So are you havin a good time??

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s fine.

You know how I feel about Halloween

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah

If you wanna grab some air let me know!

**Blake Belladonna**

Thanks Sun

**Sun Wukong**

Man there are some seriously amazing costumes huh

I thought my winged heelies were good

Theres one gal with like *live size* wings 

And they move!

This other guy dressed as Ares and his SWORD LIGHTS UP

**Blake Belladonna**

Sounds pretty incredible

**Sun Wukong**

Man how weird would it have been if Neptune and Weiss had actually started dating

Apollo would be hitting on Artemis right now

Any new cool costumes over there??

**Blake Belladonna**

Not really

**Sun Wukong**

Ok I can feel you sulking

Go talk to Yang

**Blake Belladonna**

She’s busy hosting.

**Sun Wukong**

You know shell always make time for you

But if you wanna talk you gotta initiate this one

**Blake Belladonna**

_[Read 10:33 pm]_

***

**[Saturday 10:36 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Hey, I’m going to run over to the other apartment for a bit

**Yang Xiao Long**

okay cool!

should i come with?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’d hate to pull such a brilliant hostess away from her party.

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol ok

**Blake Belladonna**

Be back in a bit

I’ll miss you

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah no problem!

i’ll miss you too 💛

**Blake Belladonna**

💜

***

**[Saturday 11:11 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

WE ARE PLAYING

SPIN THE BOTTLE

**Jaune Arc**

Really?

**Nora Valkyrie**

Don’t be so judgy JAUNE

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I think I’ll sit this one out.

**Jaune Arc**

Me too.

**Sun Wukong**

I most definitely will not!

**Neptune Vasilias**

We’ll be right over B)

**Nora Valkyrie**

People in relationships are boring, exhibit B and C

**Yang Xiao Long**

once again

you and ren

are in a relationship

**Lie Ren**

who said we’re people

**Nora Valkyrie**

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID

MARRY ME REN

**Lie Ren**

sure

**Ruby Rose**

Wait what’s going on?!??!

**Weiss Schnee**

Did you really just propose to your boyfriend over text?

**Nora Valkyrie**

NO SILLY

**Yang Xiao Long**

am i the only one who realized this was a joke

**Lie Ren**

actually...she did ask me a few days ago.

we were going to tell you all at friendsgiving.

**Ruby Rose**

YOU GUYS ARE ENGAGED AJSJDJFHDJSKJDHFHGJGKKDJDJGGJGKG

**Jaune Arc**

FINALLY

**Yang Xiao Long**

awesome

awesome

awesome

need i go on YES I DO

AWESOME 

**Jaune Arc**

Keeping that secret was killing me

**Lie Ren**

you kept it well.

be my best man?

**Pyrrha Nikos**

He says to tell you yes.

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’ll bet he started crying and can’t text through his tears

**Pyrrha Nikos**

That’s exactly what happened.

**Nora Valkyrie**

PYRRHA WILL YOU BE MY BEST MAN

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I...yes?

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

**Weiss Schnee**

So this is real? Congratulations to you both.

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah congrats you guys!!! :0)

**Neptune Vasilias**

Make sure you invite us to the afterparty ;)

**Weiss Schnee**

The reception?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Yeah that!

**Yang Xiao Long**

time to pop another $11 bottle of champagne

**Nora Valkyrie**

DIBS

**Yang Xiao Long**

on popping it or drinking it

**Nora Valkyrie**

YES

I’m ENGAGED

**Ruby Rose**

Can engaged people still play spin the bottle? :o

**Lie Ren**

why not?

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEAH

WE MAKE THE RULES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

**Weiss Schnee**

Fair enough.

***

**[Saturday 11:27 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

babe did you see ren and nora got engaged???

wild

***

**[Saturday 11:32 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey did blake come back with you guys?

**Sun Wukong**

Uhh nope

I guess shes still over at her place

Weiss let Coco use the contents of her second closet to give everyone a makeover

**Yang Xiao Long**

that explains why neptune is wearing three inch pumps

i gotta say, he’s making them work

**Sun Wukong**

He has surprisingly small feet

Thats supposed a secret

So like...be cool

**Yang Xiao Long**

you got it

***

**[Saturday 11:39 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake you’ve gotta take pictures of the outfits coco comes up with

especially if she finds weiss’ kappa shirt from freshman year

actually bring it over here weiss says she wants to burn it

are you coming back soon?

***

**[Saturday 11:46 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey coco, is blake over there?

**Coco Adel**

Haven’t seen her.

Killer party, though!

**Yang Xiao Long**

like, you haven’t seen her at all?

**Coco Adel**

Well, a few hours ago.

That gold tiara is stunning. And the sheer black dress?

You’re a lucky girl, Yang Xiao Long ;)

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha yeah

***

**[Saturday 11:58 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

hey

please let me know you’re okay

***

**[Sunday 12:20 a.m.]**

**[RWBY Apartment Chat (4 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

weiss?

ruby?

where are u guys

**Weiss Schnee**

We’re busy.

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s an emergency

**Weiss Schnee**

Did Sun break your new “smoothie machine?”

**Yang Xiao Long**

no

well yes

but that’s not

blake’s gone

**Weiss Schnee**

What do you mean, gone?

**Yang Xiao Long**

i mean she’s not here weiss

she’s not at either apartment

and she’s not on the roof

she’s just

gone

**buby**

Hang on Yang we’re coming to help!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

where are you guys?

**Weiss Schnee**

...Ruby’s room.

**Yang Xiao Long**

we’re having a talk later

**Weiss Schnee**

Fair.

Where are you?

**Yang Xiao Long**

outside

**Weiss Schnee**

Hang on. Let us come with you.

**Yang Xiao Long**

can you grab sun?

**buby**

I’m sure Blake is ok!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

i haven’t heard from her in two hours and i don’t know what’s going on

i'm trying to give her space but i'm really fucking worried

nobody’s seen her

**Weiss Schnee**

Have you tried calling?

**Yang Xiao Long**

four times

nothing

**buby**

Take some deep breaths sis

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah

fuck

**Weiss Schnee**

Agreed.

***

**[Sunday 12:41 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Blake?

***

**[Sunday 1:19 a.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Weiss Schnee**

Our apartment’s cleared out.

**Ruby Rose**

Same here!!

**Nora Valkyrie**

No one’s in the library

Glad to know this school isn’t full of nerds

**Lie Ren**

we checked the snack bar, too.

**Jaune Arc**

Monty’s clear.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

So is the second floor :(

**Neptune Vasilias**

Student center’s locked

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah so is Williams

**Ruby Rose**

Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

nothing

***

**[Sunday 1:49 a.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake

just

text me that you’re safe

or something

text weiss if you don’t want to talk to me

fuck

you probably don’t want to hear this but

i love you

okay?

please come home

***

**[Sunday 2:13 a.m.]**

**[RENORA 500K SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

goodnight guys

**Sun Wukong**

Keep us posted ok??

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah of course

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Her phone probably just died!

**Lie Ren**

possible.

**Nora Valkyrie**

Maybe she fell asleep while walking home and rolled into the grass!

**Jaune Arc**

Not helping, Nora

**Weiss Schnee**

Campus security is keeping an eye out.

**Ruby Rose**

Hey I just want to say I love you all a lot!!!

Blake if you’re reading this that goes for you too <3

**Neptune Vasilias**

Ah shit my shoes

**Jaune Arc**

I thought the pumps looked great

**Neptune Vasilias**

Nah, my other shoes

I need my trainers for rugby tomorrow

**Yang Xiao Long**

you can come back and get them

**Neptune Vasilias**

You know what, I think I’m gonna skip practice

Thanks though!

**Sun Wukong**

Ill come grab em in the morning

**Yang Xiao Long**

haha sun i get it

2 am is technically the morning

**Sun Wukong**

What?

I mean yeah youre right but what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

did you not just knock on my door

**Sun Wukong**

No??

**Yang Xiao Long**

well someone’s here

holy shit

it’s blake

**Sun Wukong**

Oh man

Thank goodness

**Weiss Schnee**

Is she okay??

**Nora Valkyrie**

Tell her we love her!!!

***

**[Sunday 10:19 a.m.]**

**[RWBY Apartment Chat (4 members)]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby, weiss, are you guys awake?

**Weiss Schnee**

Is Blake alright??

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m fine.

**buby**

Blake!!!! Are you at me and Yang’s??

Should we come over?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah if you want to

**Blake Belladonna**

I owe you all an apology

And an explanation

**Weiss Schnee**

I won’t disagree with you.

**Blake Belladonna**

Last night at the party I saw my ex

Well, I thought I saw him

**buby**

What do you mean?

**Blake Belladonna**

There was a man with red hair dressed as Ares

**buby**

Oh yeah his costume was super cool!! I wonder how he made that mask? And the glowing red sword was AMAZING!!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby.

**buby**

Right

That was your ex?

**Blake Belladonna**

It looked like him. Adam. 

When I saw him I just...ran.

**buby**

He wasn’t very nice to you, was he?

**Yang Xiao Long**

nope

**Blake Belladonna**

When I broke up with him, he got angry. The police ended up coming.

**buby**

How come?

**Weiss Schnee**

Ruby. Now’s not the time.

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s okay, Weiss.

He threw his table through the window and hit some trick or treating kids on the street

They were okay, but he still got arrested. 

**Weiss Schnee**

Well. I see why you're not the biggest fan of Halloween, then. 

**buby**

So it wasn’t him at the party?

**Blake Belladonna**

No. It couldn’t have been.

He’s in jail.

**Yang Xiao Long**

good

**Weiss Schnee**

Seconded.

**Blake Belladonna**

I thought that maybe he'd gotten out of prison somehow, that he'd found me

Eventually I realized that wasn't possible, I would have heard about it

He's not even in Vale

But he had this horrible way of getting in my head and I panicked

I'm so sorry.

**buby**

He sounds really nasty, Blake :( 

You don't have to be sorry!!

**Blake Belladonna**

When I ended things, he told me he would destroy everything I loved.

Starting with whoever I loved after him.

**buby**

Ahhh

That’s why you got scared and ran away

**Weiss Schnee**

What?

**buby**

She was protecting Yang

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh.

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m so sorry for scaring you all. And for ruining the party.

**Weiss Schnee**

Please don’t worry about that. All we care about is that you’re back safe and sound.

**buby**

Plus since everybody went home kind of early we have extra Oreos left over >:)

**Yang Xiao Long**

gotta respect your priorities, little sister

**buby**

Are you okay Yang??

**Yang Xiao Long**

yeah

we talked

it might take a second

but we’ll be ok

***

**[Sunday 7:34 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

Hi

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi

**Blake Belladonna**

Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes?

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m sorry again.

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake, you said sorry like a thousand times.

it’ll be alright

**Blake Belladonna**

I feel terrible for dragging you into all this

**Yang Xiao Long**

into what?

your life?

are you sorry that you love me?

**Blake Belladonna**

No.

Never.

**Yang Xiao Long**

good

me neither

so don’t apologize anymore, okay?

yeah, it was scary

and it hurt

but sometimes people get in hurt in relationships

and you’re worth a little bit of pain

**Blake Belladonna**

Gods I love you

**Yang Xiao Long**

nice

**Blake Belladonna**

Really, Yang?

**Yang Xiao Long**

heh

i love you too blake

💜

**Blake Belladonna**

💛

***


	17. some things never change (epilogue)

**[Sunday 12:32 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 1 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

REMINDER TO ARRIVE AT 5:00 SHARP

REN AND I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

WHICH WE WILL BE LIVESTREAMING

**Yang Xiao Long**

we already know u guys are engaged

**Nora Valkyrie**

Listen YANG

We’ve had this planned for MONTHS

And I expect you all to act SURPRISED

Because that’s the true meaning of FRIENDSGIVING

**Lie Ren**

plus, our subscribers don’t know yet. this is mostly for them.

**Yang Xiao Long**

got it

**Sun Wukong**

But Blakes surprised face is exactly like her normal face

How will u tell the difference??

**Lie Ren**

are you gonna take that, blake?

**Blake Belladonna**

He’s not wrong

**Yang Xiao Long**

idk i think ur very expressive

**Blake Belladonna**

Under the right circumstances

**Yang Xiao Long**

and on top of the right circumstances

**Weiss Schnee**

I put my my sister on hold to come here and tell you two to knock it off

**Yang Xiao Long**

no :)

**Ruby Rose**

Hi Winter!!!!

Did you tell her I said hi

**Weiss Schnee**

She “reciprocates your greeting.”

Her words, not mine

**Ruby Rose**

^__^

**Nora Valkyrie**

Sun are you bringing your boyfriend

**Sun Wukong**

Uh

I dont have a boyfriend?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Just ‘cuz we made out at Halloween doesn’t mean I’m gay lmao :P

Oh and at that party last weekend

And when we all went to that movie

**Nora Valkyrie**

HHHHH

**Lie Ren**

let them take their time, darling.

**Neptune Vasilias**

Wait

Shit

Dude?

**Sun Wukong**

Yeah dude?

**Neptune Vasilias**

I think we gotta talk

**Nora Valkyrie**

ADSJAFKLDSJAKLJDSKFL

**Sun Wukong**

Nora

Can I bring my boyfriend to dinner

**Nora Valkyrie**

OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!

**Lie Ren**

did you guys really figure things out that fast?

**Neptune Vasilias**

Tru love is simple my guy 😎

**Blake Belladonna**

It’s a Friendsgiving miracle

**Sun Wukong**

Blake r u finally admitting that were friends??

**Neptune Vasilias**

:D :D :D

**Blake Belladonna**

Don’t make me take it back.

**Nora Valkyrie**

How bout that huh

Everybody’s all paired off

Almost like somebody planned it...

**Jaune Arc**

Nora, what are you talking about?

**Nora Valkyrie**

NOTHING JAUNE

**Yang Xiao Long**

i’m getting started on the cake!

**Ruby Rose**

CAAAAAAAAAKE

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Jaune, did you pick up crackers?

**Jaune Arc**

Sesame, whole wheat, pita chips, and gluten free.

And Goldfish for me.

**Pyrrha Nikos**

😊❤️

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’m furious who taught her how to use emojis correctly

***

**[Sunday 1:48 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Blake Belladonna**

So

Neptune, huh?

**Sun Wukong**

What about him?

**Blake Belladonna**

You spent three months interrogating me about my love life.

Don’t think you’re getting out of this.

**Sun Wukong**

Fair lol

**Blake Belladonna**

Can I ask you something, though?

**Sun Wukong**

Blake Belladonna

You may ask me anything whenever you please

**Blake Belladonna**

Aren’t you asexual?

**Sun Wukong**

Sure

Im not into sex

But I'm into making out with my best friend

**Blake Belladonna**

Gross. No thanks.

**Sun Wukong**

Not you XD

**Blake Belladonna**

Thank the gods.

**Sun Wukong**

I meant my OTHER best friend

Whomst I am now dating

Hes such a good snuggler!!

**Blake Belladonna**

And I’m really happy for you, Sun.

**Sun Wukong**

:0)

***

**[Sunday 2:09 p.m.]**

**[SUNDAY BRUNCH/FIGHT CLUB (3 members)]**

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Does anybody need anything from Trader Joe’s?

**Nora Valkyrie**

YOU WENT

TO THE FATHERLAND

WITHOUT ME

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

I’m sorry!! We were already out and Jaune wanted spinach dip.

**Nora Valkyrie**

At least that boy’s eating a vegetable in some form

You’re such a good influence

**Yang Xiao Long**

pyrrha can u get me more bread

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Of course!

...You need bread for the cake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

no we’re just out of bread

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

We went grocery shopping yesterday. You’re already out?

**Yang Xiao Long**

yes

we used it all

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Dare I ask, for what?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ruby wanted to see what condiment worked best to make it stick to the ceiling

**Nora Valkyrie**

I put $10 on peanut butter

**Yang Xiao Long**

surprisingly no

dark horse nutella came thru

8 seconds before falling

peanut butter had 6

**Nora Valkyrie**

DAMMIT

**Yang Xiao Long**

i accept venmo or cash

**Nora Valkyrie**

How about sexual favors

**Yang Xiao Long**

give me my money or i send that screenshot to ren

**Nora Valkyrie**

HA

Joke's on you he’s right here

He already knows

YOU CAN’T BLACKMAIL ME

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Got your bread, Yang. :)

**Yang Xiao Long**

thanks pyrrha!

now we can play the bread game at dinner

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

What bread game?

**Yang Xiao Long**

the one i just mentioned

where u see which condiment makes it stick to the ceiling longest

**GODDESS OF THE UNIVERSE**

Are you alright with this, Nora?

**Nora Valkyrie**

HELL YEAH I AM IT’S NOT MY APARTMENT

IT’S RAININ BREAD

HALLELUJAH

***

**[Sunday 2:46 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Ruby Rose**

WEIIIIIIIIIIISS

**Weiss Schnee**

Yes?

**Ruby Rose**

Hi :>

**Weiss Schnee**

Hi.

Can I help you with something?

**Ruby Rose**

YES

I don’t know anything about cheese

**Weiss Schnee**

Well, it’s usually made from milk.

**Ruby Rose**

OKAY I KNOW ONE THING ABOUT CHEESE >:c

But what kind goes with the crackers Jaune bought???

**Weiss Schnee**

Why would I know that?

**Ruby Rose**

Because you’re fancy!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

What’s that supposed to mean?

**Ruby Rose**

It’s a good thing!!

Your hair always looks so pretty and you always smell so nice

And you sound super smart when you talk

(Because you are super smart)

In summary

You seem like someone who would know things about cheese!!!

Weiss?

**Weiss Schnee**

I never thought a cheese-related compliment would make me tear up, but here we are...

**Ruby Rose**

WEISS I’M SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY

**Weiss Schnee**

My whole life, people have praised me for my singing voice, my clothes, and my connections.

**Ruby Rose**

Okay kind of sounds like you’re bragging but go on

**Weiss Schnee**

None of those things are really me, though.

Nobody’s ever really complimented my knowledge about cheese, for example. Or said I smell nice.

**Ruby Rose**

Well you do!!!

Like a flower right after it rains

**Weiss Schnee**

I should warn you, next time I see you, I’m kissing you regardless of where we are or who’s around.

**Ruby Rose**

That’s fine with me!!

Hehe

Also I got 8 different kinds of cheese just to be safe

It cost $54 D:

**Weiss Schnee**

Oh, you dolt. <3

***

**[Sunday 3:01 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Weiss Schnee**

I feel I must inform you of something.

**Yang Xiao Long**

what happened

did u finally kill ur dad

**Weiss Schnee**

NO.

Just because we’re not speaking doesn’t mean I want him dead.

**Yang Xiao Long**

don’t u though

**Weiss Schnee**

That’s not the point.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I’m finally sure. I wanted to tell you first so that we can get the aggressive overprotective sibling nonsense out of the way.

**Yang Xiao Long**

hwat

first of all i am not overprotective

**Weiss Schnee**

Remember our first day of high school? When you threatened to fight someone for taking Ruby’s tray at lunch?

And it turned out she was just giving it back to the lunch lady because there was something in her potatoes?

**Yang Xiao Long**

ok fine but i’m not aggressive

wait what have you been thinking about

are you breaking up with ruby???

i’ll give u a 5 minute headstart

when i catch u we’re throwing down

**Weiss Schnee**

I’m not breaking up with her!

...I love her.

**Yang Xiao Long**

OH

in that case

i’ll give u a 5 minute headstart

when i catch u we’re throwing down

**Weiss Schnee**

What??

Yang. I’m not going to hurt her.

**Yang Xiao Long**

sorry sorry

it turns out i may be a tad aggressive and overprotective

but you know what happened with our mom

i just don’t want anyone to leave ruby alone again

and you’re really important to her

**Weiss Schnee**

She’s just as important to me.

**Yang Xiao Long**

alright

bang away

**Weiss Schnee**

I still don’t know why I speak to you.

***

**[Sunday 3:33 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 1 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Nora Valkyrie**

SEE YOU ALL SOON

PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED BY THE SOUND OUR DOORBELL MAKES

**Jaune Arc**

Is it broken again?

**Lie Ren**

not exactly.

**Nora Valkyrie**

I might have tried to reprogram it

And succeeded

**Lie Ren**

it screams now.

**Jaune Arc**

WHAT

WHY

**Pyrrha Nikos**

I wish I’d seen this message about 30 seconds ago. :(

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah, same.

Nora, your voice is incredibly shrill

**Nora Valkyrie**

THANK YOU

Man you guys are super early

**Jaune Arc**

I live here

**Nora Valkyrie**

We’re not ready yet can you go make out for an hour

**Jaune Arc**

THIS IS MY HOUSE

**Lie Ren**

sorry, jaune. no early admission

**Nora Valkyrie**

GO FIND A ROOF LIKE THE REST OF US

***

**[Sunday 3:53 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Yang Xiao Long**

blake i have a dilemma

**Blake Belladonna**

About decorating the cake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh man now i have 2 dilemmas

**Blake Belladonna**

Sorry :P

Cake first

**Yang Xiao Long**

it’s between standard chocolate frosting

and violently dyed vanilla

chocolate is obviously the better flavor

but i can’t make that rainbow

**Blake Belladonna**

What does rainbow have to do with Friendsgiving?

**Yang Xiao Long**

all our friends are gay

**Blake Belladonna**

I

They really are, aren’t they

**Yang Xiao Long**

can’t believe we lost our token straight guy

rip

**Blake Belladonna**

That makes it sound like Neptune died...

**Yang Xiao Long**

speaking of dye

cake decor?

**Blake Belladonna**

I think it’s gotta be rainbow

**Yang Xiao Long**

i think you’ve gotta be right

**Blake Belladonna**

What’s your other dilemma?

**Yang Xiao Long**

oh yeah

nora’s making habanero poppers

and they’re amazing

**Blake Belladonna**

...Is that a traditional holiday dish around here?

**Yang Xiao Long**

for thanksgiving no

friendsgiving absolutely

**Blake Belladonna**

So if they’re so good, what’s the problem?

**Yang Xiao Long**

well

if i eat them

i can’t go down on u later

the risk is too high

i’m gonna be out of commission for at least 24 hours

**Blake Belladonna**

🤦🏻

Yang, it’s fine.

**Yang Xiao Long**

but it’s so fun!

for both of us

i hope

it is for me anyway

**Blake Belladonna**

No, both is right

**Yang Xiao Long**

hehe

good

this is the hardest decision of my life blake

**Blake Belladonna**

You’re adorable, but I think I’ll survive for one night.

Please enjoy the habanero poppers

**Yang Xiao Long**

idea

**Blake Belladonna**

Yes?

**Yang Xiao Long**

the cake is still cooling

wanna come over and help me finish?

**Blake Belladonna**

You mean finish the cake?

**Yang Xiao Long**

sure that too ;)

whoa that was fast

**Blake Belladonna**

I was already on my way over.

**Yang Xiao Long**

hiii i see you

those flowers are so pretty!

pyrrha’s gonna love that u thought to bring a centerpiece

**Blake Belladonna**

Oh, um...

They’re for you, actually.

**Yang Xiao Long**

fair warning

**Blake Belladonna**

What?

**Yang Xiao Long**

when we get upstairs

i’m locking the front door

putting those gorgeous flowers in water

and ripping ur pants off

**Blake Belladonna**

No complaints here.

***

**[Sunday 4:02 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Hey do you wanna walk over with us??

**Blake Belladonna**

No

**Sun Wukong**

Lol ok

Too cool to show up w ur bros

I get it

**Blake Belladonna**

Nope

Busy

**Sun Wukong**

Really?

I thought you were just bringing ice

Which is kinda funny considering Weiss is the ice queen

Whoa her name even rhymes

Ice Weiss Ice Weiss

Blake u there??

***

**[Sunday 4:05 p.m.]**

**[Private Message]**

**Sun Wukong**

Hey! Do u wanna meet up at like 4:30 to walk over??

**Yang Xiao Long**

nah i’m gonna be late 

**Sun Wukong**

Damn

Cake trouble?

**Yang Xiao Long**

nope

going down on blake as we speak

**Sun Wukong**

JESUS I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW

**Yang Xiao Long**

now will you stop messaging us

**Sun Wukong**

YEP BIG TIME

***

**[Sunday 5:07 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 1 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Sun Wukong**

AY were here

**Nora Valkyrie**

And you’re LATE

**Neptune Vasilias**

Fashionably so, of course ;)

**Jaune Arc**

It’s fine. You’re actually not the last ones here

**Ruby Rose**

Yang’s still not picking up her phone >:c

**Weiss Schnee**

Blake’s not answering either.

**Lie Ren**

ah.

**Nora Valkyrie**

HMM

**Weiss Schnee**

Indeed.

**Ruby Rose**

You guys know I hate when you get all weird like that >_>

EW NO WEISS TOLD ME

WEISS WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME

**Yang Xiao Long**

hi we’re on our way

**Sun Wukong**

YANG

AN HOUR????

**Yang Xiao Long**

i don’t understand the question

**Blake Belladonna**

We’ll be there in 5

10 at the most

**Yang Xiao Long**

better make it 15

**Nora Valkyrie**

Yang you’re a hero

[SingleTearSalute.jpg]

***

**[Sunday 11:19 p.m.]**

**[RENORA 1 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!!!!! (10 members)]**

**Lie Ren**

thank you all for making tonight so special for us, and for indulging our short livestream at the beginning of the evening. our subscribers loved it! it means more than i can express to make such wonderful memories with all of you.

**Nora Valkyrie**

YEAH WE LOVE YOU GUYS 💖💖💖💖💖💖

**Ruby Rose**

REN!!!! I’M GONNA CRY!!!

**Weiss Schnee**

She’s already crying, actually.

**Ruby Rose**

IT’S TRUE 

I’M GONNA MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!! 8’(

**Pyrrha Nikos**

We still have two weeks until the semester ends!

**Jaune Arc**

Yeah! And winter break is only like, 3 weeks long

**Ruby Rose**

I’LL STILL MISS EVERYBODY

Well not Yang and Weiss because I’ll see them

BUT EVERYONE ELSE <3 <3 <3

**Blake Belladonna**

I’m actually visiting Patch for a few days.

**Ruby Rose**

YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

seconded 💛💜

**Blake Belladonna**

💜💛

**Sun Wukong**

Neptune and I are going skiing in Mantle B)

**Neptune Vasilias**

Yeah it’s gonna be sick! B)

**Jaune Arc**

Aw man. Have fun, you guys

**Sun Wukong**

You should come with us!

Open invite

**Nora Valkyrie**

I’M IN

**Jaune Arc**

I mean

Are you sure?

But you guys are so

Cool

**Sun Wukong**

So are you man! :0)

**Pyrrha Nikos**

Uh oh. Now Jaune’s crying, too.

**Weiss Schnee**

Ren are you sure we can’t help with cleanup?

**Yang Xiao Long**

lol sorry about the ceiling

**Lie Ren**

it's fine. :)

**Pyrrha Nikos**

We’ve got it covered!

**Weiss Schnee**

Thank you so much, Pyrrha!!

**Yang Xiao Long**

some things never change huh

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who's come along on this absolutely wild ride! i had so much fun writing this story, good god. i'm gonna miss working on it!
> 
> if you're interested in seeing "deleted scenes," smash that subscribe button or follow me on tumblr @somnambule-plus for updates. i've listed the work as complete, but i'll add bonus chapters when i can!
> 
> as always, love u love u love u all <3


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